Best Fan Theories
The Joker does have a superpower
The Joker in the batman universe does have a superpower. No one could pull off half the random things Joker does unassisted, all the near deaths, convoluted plots and inevitable escape attempts, impossible without some other force at work. But really, it’s his name that gives it away. He has got a power any comedian, class clown or joker would kill for.
He has a supernaturally good sense of timing.
That’s why all his schemes can work and why the only times he gets caught are when he can safely get away later. Because even if he’s unaware that he’s doing it, he’s always in the right place at the right time. Joker probably isn’t aware he even has this power, but it’s part of the reason he never gets over his insanity. Because everything always works out for him, he’s never confronted with facing reality aside from the chaos he creates.
Bender wasn’t a criminal until he met Fry
When we first meet Bender, he’s ready to commit suicide because he found out he was helping to make suicide booths. This doesn’t tally with the Bender that we get to know throughout the course of the series. In fact, nothing he says before they run from Leela in the first series suggests that he’s nearly as bad as the Bender we love.
When they try and escape from Leela in the head museum, Bender gets shocked via an old light fitting. Maybe in doing so, it caused Bender to reboot. In the penguin episode, we see that Bender resets into a mode relevant to his surroundings. He sees penguins, he boots into penguin mode. Therefore, since he rebooted in the hall of criminals, the first thing he sees is the heads of famous criminals, and therefore reboots into the lovable but highly-illegal rogue.
Snape’s first words to Harry
In Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, the first thing Snape asks Harry in Potions class is, “Potter! What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?”
According to the Victorian Language of Flowers, asphodel is a type of lily meaning ‘my regrets follow you to the grave,’ and wormwoood means ‘absence’ and symbolizes bitter sorrow. The entire question has a hidden meaning of “I bitterly regret Lily’s death.”
Robin is a potential weapon against his own mentor
What Batman fears more than anything is turning evil. He is perfectly aware he is capable of doing so, and just about no-one would be able to stop him if he was a villain.
But what if there was a person who knew his fighting style and weaponry inside out and back to front? What if there was another person with his skill and similar life experiences, yet far more young and optimistic than Batman?
Robin is the one who will take Batman down if he goes rogue, as he is not just a protégé, but Batman’s planned countermeasure for a set of circumstances that may never arise.
Spongebob is a tampon
If you think about the facts it all kind of pieces together. Spongebob is a super absorbent sponge like product. He lives in a place called bikini bottom. He is on the other side of town to a girl named sandy cheeks. He works in the krusty krab with squidward an anamorphic squid that looks strangely enough like a giant penis. Squidward likes to avoid run-ins with spongebob whenever possible. Squidward thinks that he is good at something despite the fact that we all know that he isn’t no matter how hard he practices in his home by himself. Patrick is maybe a tattoo that gets viewed a lot. Plankton is an insecure little thing with one eye who is married to a computer and is envious of what the krusty krab has and wishes to have it to himself, or at least the ingredients on how to make one, aka: a pervert.
Single Tarantino Universe
So now you know why Christoph Waltz stopped practicing dentistry in Django.
It is well known that all of Tarantino’s films take place in the same universe. This is established by the fact that Mr. Blonde (Reservoir Dogs) and Vincent Vega (Pulp Fiction) are brothers, everybody in his movies smoke Red Apple cigarettes, Mr. White (Reservoir Dogs) worked with Alabama from True Romance.
As it turns out, Donny Donowitz, ‘The Bear Jew’ (Inglourious Basterds), is the father of movie producer Lee Donowitz from True Romance, which means that, in Tarantino’s universe, everybody grew up learning about how a bunch of commando Jews machine gunned Hitler to death in a burning movie theater, as opposed to quietly killing himself in a bunker.
Because World War 2 ended in a movie theater, everybody lends greater significance to pop culture, hence why seemingly everybody has great level of knowledge in movies and TV. Likewise, because America won World War 2 in one concentrated act of hyperviolent slaughter, Americans as a whole are more desensitized to that sort of thing. Hence why Butch (Bruce Willis in Pulp Fiction) is unfazed by killing two people, Mr. White and Mr. Pink (Reservoir Dogs) take a pragmatic approach to killing in their line of work, Esmeralda (Pulp Fiction) the cab driver is obsessed with death, etc.
You can extrapolate this further when you realize that Tarantino’s movies are technically two universes. He has gone on record saying that Kill Bill and From Dusk ‘Til Dawn take place in a ‘movie movie universe’; that is, they’re movies that characters from the Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, True Romance, and Death Proof universe would go to see in theaters.
Basically, it turns every Tarantino movie into alternate reality sci fi.
Everyone in the Simpsons family is a genius
Everyone in the Simpson family is a genius, but Lisa is the only one who embraces it.
Grandpa may be senile now but his flash backs show him doing a number of things that require a variety of skills such as being a fighter pilot and an accomplished pianist, that suggests that he has at least an above average intelligence. Marge was an excellent student but choose a life as a house wife because it is what made her happy. This is important because everyone besides Lisa chooses happiness over intelligence.
Homer would be one of the smartest men to ever live except for the crayon he had lodged in his brain at an early age. When the crayon was briefly removed, he becomes a genius, doing such things as proving god doesn’t exist, but he put it back in order to avoid ostracism from his friends and community. Unlike Marge his choice is more serious; miserable but a genius or happy but a moron?
Bart essentially makes the same decision as his father but at a much younger age and without having to alter his brain. In one episode he is shown to have been incredibly gifted when he was younger but his grades steadily declined. Why? That episode would have you believe it was the “Simpson gene” which makes male Simpsons idiots. But the removal of the crayon from Homer’s brain and his boost in intelligence proves that to be wrong. Instead Bart witnessed that despite his father’s many faults and crippling stupidity he is happy. This was proof for him that ignorance is indeed bliss. He decides to follow his father’s path but his intelligence leaks through on several occasions when it comes to pranks, which are original and clever. Yet his denial of his intelligence stops him from succeeding at school even when he wants to, and he torments Lisa because he feels bad for her and wants her to make the same decision he did.
Lisa only reinforces his decision because of how unhappy she is. Her intelligence will never bring her happiness. She is by far the saddest and mopiest character but for better or worse has decided to stick it out.
Maggie, being an infant, has not been forced to make this decision yet but seems as intelligent as the rest of her family, one time rescuing Homer from a crazed tow truck driver. She will have to make the same choice with two examples, her brother and sister, to guide her.
Jack was a Time Traveler
Jack, from Titanic, was a time traveler, that was only there to save Rose from committing suicide and altering the timeline. If Rose jumped to her demise, then the ship would have had to stop to look for her. The temporary delay would have lead to warmer weather and the Titanic never would have hit the ice burg. This is also why Jack spent so much time with Rose, it was his job to ensure her survival.
Let’s look at the evidence. Jack doesn’t have any money from this time period, so he has to gamble in order to get the ticket in the first place. He mentions fishing in Lake Wissota, which is a man made lake, created in 1917, 5 years after the Titanic sank. His haircut seemed completely out of place for the era, furthermore, that rucksack wasn’t common till the late 30’s. He claims he will take Rose on a roller coaster on the Santa Monica pier which wouldn’t be built till 1916. How else would he have knowledge of all these things?
Because of my dog, I flinch every time I hear a doorbell on TV.
Does "do not touch" exist in Braille?
Tinder should make an app for people to find platonic relationships and call it Friender
The funniest joke for me might be hidden behind a different language that I will never learn
If alternate universes exist, wouldn't a universe exist where they have destroyed all the other alternate universes?
The opposite of SpongeBob SquarePants is TowelWeave CircleShorts
If an illegal immigrant had a fight with a child predator, would that be Alien vs Predator?
Identical twins are probably the only people who will see their own dead bodies
How important does a person have to be for their murder to be called an assassination?
Life is just one big freemium game. Everyone gets a chance to play, but unless you have money, your experience is extremely limited.
When you're deaf, every video is a GIF.
Yoga pants are like billboards for teenage boys.
The reason why Apple updates aren't called iPatches is that it would inspire to piracy
I bet ventriloquists can respond perfectly when the dentist ask them questions while cleaning their teeth
Marine In Japan Regrets Confusing ‘Kabuki’ With ‘Bukakke’
CAMP SMEDLEY D. BUTLER, Okinawa — Lance Corporal Timothy Braithwaite and his wife, Melanie, were dismayed last weekend to discover that they had confused the word “kabuki” and the word “bukakke,” leading them to attend a show very different from the one they’d meant to see.
“It was pretty awful,” said Braithwaite. “Melanie and I haven’t been here long, haven’t gotten out to see the sights since I signed in last month. So now that we’re all settled and I’m in a nice predictable schedule at work, I wanted to take advantage of being stationed here. So I got tickets to this show from my staff sergeant, but must have got my terms mixed up.”
The Marine and his wife ended up sitting through a show which made them very uncomfortable. Unfortunately, when they tried to return the tickets for a refund, the establishment refused. The budget-conscious couple decided to return to the show and try to enjoy it rather than waste the money.
Soon they found themselves witnessing a wild, loud and frenetic display rarely seen back home in America, outside of internet videos and little-known parlors in immigrant quarters of large cities.
“There was all this noise, yelling and grunting at whatnot,” Mrs. Braithwaite said. “It was hard to follow exactly since I only speak English, but I got the general idea. Ladies and men were wearing elaborate costumes that they tore off without warning, the music only served to make it more alien. There was, ah, stuff … flying all around.
She said some members of the audience got involved, contributing and even helping. And even the audience members that weren’t “part of the, ah, proceedings got pretty rowdy.”
Braithwaite and his wife were mildly traumatized by the mix-up, but don’t intend to let one bad experience ruin an exotic foreign posting for them. They already have plans for more outings in the near future, including an attempt to attend the show they meant to see last weekend.
Sometimes when I'm in a difficult situation I ask, "What Would Jesus Do?"
And always a little voice inside me answers, "Well, he probably wouldn't try to cram *another* corpse into the crawl-space, moron."
The Dumbest Deaths in Recorded History
Attila the Hun
One of the most notorious villains in history, Attila’s army had conquered all of Asia by 450 AD-from Mongolia to the edge of the Russian Empire-by destroying villages and pillaging the countryside.
How he died: He got a nosebleed on his wedding night.In 453 AD, Attila married a young girl named Ildico. Despite his reputation for ferocity on the battlefield, he tended to eat and drink lightly during large banquets. On his wedding night, however, he really cut loose, gorging himself on food and drink. Sometime during the night he suffered a nosebleed, but was too drunk to notice. He drowned in his own blood and was found dead the next morning.
An important Danish astronomer of the 16th century. His ground breaking research allowed Sir Isaac Newton to come up with the theory of gravity.
How he died: Didn’t get to the bathroom in time. In the 16th century, it was considered an insult to leave a banquet table before the meal was over. Brahe, known to drink excessively, had a bladder condition-but failed to relieve himself before the banquet started. He made matters worse by drinking too much at dinner, and was too polite to ask to be excused. His bladder finally burst, killing him slowly and painfully over the next 11 days.
Pioneered the use of anesthesia in the 1840s
How he died: Used anesthetics to commit suicide. While experimenting with various gases during his anesthesia research, Wells became addicted to chloroform. In 1848 he was arrested for spraying two women with sulfuric acid. In a letter he wrote from jail, he blamed chloroform for his problems, claiming that he’d gotten high before the attack. Four days later he was found dead in his cell. He’d anaesthetized himself with chloroform and slashed open his thigh with a razor.
One of the most influential minds of the late 16th century. A statesman, a philosopher, a writer, and a scientist, he was even rumored to have written some of Shakespeare’s plays.
How he died: Stuffing snow into a chicken One afternoon in 1625, Bacon was watching a snowstorm and was struck by the wondrous notion that maybe snow could be used to preserve meat in the same way that salt was used. Determined to find out, he purchased a chicken from a nearby village, killed it, and then, standing outside in the snow, attempted to stuff the chicken full of snow to freeze it. The chicken never froze, but Bacon did.
A Greek playwright back in 500 BC. Many historians consider him the father of Greek tragedies.
How he died: An eagle dropped a tortoise on his head According to legend, eagles picked up tortoises and attempt to crack them open by dropping them on rocks. An eagle mistook Aeschylus’ head for a rock (he was bald) and dropped it on him instead.
Author of the best selling “Complete Book of Running,” which started the jogging craze of the 1970s.
How he died: A heart attack….while jogging Fixx was visiting Greensboro, Vermont when he walked out of his house and began jogging. He’d only gone a short distance when he had a massive coronary. His autopsy revealed that one of his coronary arteries was 99% clogged, another was 80% obstructed, and a third was 70% blocked….and that Fixx had had three other attacks in the weeks prior to his death.
Issue of the Times;
Goodbye Middle Class by Michael Snyder
51 Percent Of All American Workers Make Less Than 30,000 Dollars A Year
We just got more evidence that the middle class in America is dying. According to brand new numbers that were just released by the Social Security Administration, 51 percent of all workers in the United States make less than $30,000 a year. Let that number sink in for a moment. You can’t support a middle class family in America today on just $2,500 a month – especially after taxes are taken out. And yet more than half of all workers in this country make less than that each month. In order to have a thriving middle class, you have got to have an economy that produces lots of middle class jobs, and that simply is not happening in America today.
You can find the report that the Social Security Administration just released right here. The following are some of the numbers that really stood out for me…
-38 percent of all American workers made less than $20,000 last year.
-51 percent of all American workers made less than $30,000 last year.
-62 percent of all American workers made less than $40,000 last year.
-71 percent of all American workers made less than $50,000 last year.
That first number is truly staggering. The federal poverty level for a family of five is $28,410, and yet almost 40 percent of all American workers do not even bring in $20,000 a year.
If you worked a full-time job at $10 an hour all year long with two weeks off, you would make approximately $20,000. This should tell you something about the quality of the jobs that our economy is producing at this point.
And of course the numbers above are only for those that are actually working. As I discussed just recently, there are 7.9 million working age Americans that are “officially unemployed” right now and another 94.7 million working age Americans that are considered to be “not in the labor force”. When you add those two numbers together, you get a grand total of 102.6 million working age Americans that do not have a job right now.
So many people that I know are barely scraping by right now. Many families have to fight tooth and nail just to make it from month to month, and there are lots of Americans that find themselves sinking deeper and deeper into debt.
If you can believe it, about a quarter of the country actually has a negative net worth right now.
What that means is that if you have no debt and you also have ten dollars in your pocket that gives you a greater net worth than about 25 percent of the entire country. The following comes from a recent piece by Simon Black…
Credit Suisse estimates that 25% of Americans are in this situation of having a negative net-worth.
“If you’ve no debts and have $10 in your pocket you have more wealth than 25% of Americans. More than 25% of Americans have collectively that is.”
The thing is– not only did the government create the incentives, but they set the standard.
With a net worth of negative $60 trillion, US citizens are just following dutifully in the government’s footsteps.
As a nation we are flat broke and most of us are living paycheck to paycheck. It has been estimated that it takes approximately $50,000 a year to support a middle class lifestyle for a family of four in the U.S. today, and so the fact that 71 percent of all workers make less than that amount shows how difficult it is for families that try to get by with just a single breadwinner.
Needless to say, a tremendous squeeze has been put on the middle class. In many families, both the husband and the wife are working as hard as they can, but it is still not enough. With each passing day, more Americans are losing their spots in the middle class and this has pushed government dependence to an all-time high. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 49 percent of all Americans now live in a home that receives money from the government each month.
Sadly, the trends that are destroying the middle class in America just continue to accelerate.
With a huge assist from the Republican leadership in Congress, Barack Obama recently completed negotiations on the Trans-Pacific Partnership. Also known as Obamatrade, this insidious new treaty is going to cover nations that collectively account for 40 percent of global GDP. Just like NAFTA, this treaty will result in the loss of thousands of businesses and millions of good paying American jobs. Let us hope and pray that Congress somehow votes it down.
Another thing that is working against the middle class is the fact that technology is increasingly taking over our jobs. With each passing year, it becomes cheaper and more efficient to have computers, robots and machines do things that humans once did.
Eventually, there will be very few things that humans will be able to do more cheaply and more efficiently than computers, robots and machines. How will most of us make a living when that happens?…
The robopocalypse for workers may be inevitable. In this vision of the future, super-smart machines will best humans in pretty much every task. A few of us will own the machines, a few will work a bit… while the rest will live off a government-provided income…the most common job in most U.S. states probably will no longer be truck driver.
For decades, we have been training our young people to have the goal of “getting a job” once they get out into the real world. But in America today there are not nearly enough good jobs to go around, and this crisis is only going to accelerate as we move into the future.
I do not believe that it is wise to pin your future on a corporation that could replace you with a foreign worker or a machine the moment that it becomes expedient to do so. We need to start thinking differently, because the paradigms that worked in the past are fundamentally breaking down.
Quote of the Times;
The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants. – Camus
Link of the Times;