SimpleDisorder.com
Daily Pics, My Comic, and The Times
the Daily
the Comic
the Blog
Baiters?
"G'day mate, Aussie Helpline. What's the problem cobber?"

"I'm in Darwin with my sheila and she's been stung on the minge by a wasp, and now her mut has completely closed up."

"Bummer mate!"

"Thanks mate, I hadn't thought of that, Cheers."

*.*

Oneliners:

If aliens really attack Earth, my first thought is probably going to be “Which movie came the closest?”

If someone ever grabs me by the lapels and frantically asks me what the date is, I will be sure to include the year in my answer.

If people adopted last names like they did in the past, Jim CustomerServicer or Matt TeamLeader are just some examples of what awful things we’d be called.

It just occurred to me that duels were most likely scheduled at high noon so that the sun wasn’t in either opponent’s eyes.

I would be willing to donate blood to the mosquito community, if in exchange they would stop biting me.

A line of paint on the road holds more authority than I probably ever will.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard a car alarm going off and thought “Someone’s car is getting stolen!”

It’s pretty dumb that I get a new driver’s license every four years and it’s made out of hard plastic and I’m supposed to have my social security card for life and it’s made out of paper.

*.*

‘Black Lives Matter’ Protesters Disrupt ISIS Beheading

AL-RAQQAH, Syria – Protesters from the group Black Lives Matter caused what observers called a “major headache,” so to speak, in Syria last Friday when they interrupted a public beheading being carried out by the group the Islamic State.

Abu Mohammad al-Adnani, a spokesman for the Islamic State, or ISIS, said the protesters had “stormed” the front steps of the town hall in Al-Raqqah, where ISIS fighters were about to behead four civilians for what al-Adnani called “the heinous crime of pigeon breeding.”

The protest group was led by Imani Mills, a 26-year-old community activist and aspiring motocross racer from Minneapolis, who claims she was attempting to highlight the glaring racial inequalities found throughout the Islamic State.

"Most people don't realize that the Islamic State is the most dangerous place on earth to be a person of color," said Mills. "Fully 100% of all violence in this country is carried out against people of color, making it worse than Nigeria, the Central African Republic, or even Baltimore."

Mills added, "Everyday people of color in the Islamic State are shot to death by the police or locked up in cages. ISIS needs to recognize its role in perpetuating this hetero-patriarchal state violence."

While Black Lives Matters now contains 28 separate chapters, including one in Canada, its Syrian chapter is by far the least successful. According to Mills, the group originally just tried walking around downtown Raqqah yelling "Hands Up Don't Shoot," but were mistaken for a group of surrendering Syrian Army soldiers and gunned down.

Mills says they later tried unsuccessfully to disrupt a speech by ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi by waving signs which read "Ban the Box," a movement to remove criminal records from job applications. However the phrase only led to confusion when ISIS members thought they were referring to the boxes the group puts collaborators in and sets on fire.

Last month they tried blocking the roads into Raqqah, chanting, "Shut this whole town down! The power, the roads, the water!" but gave up after they realized the Syrian Air Force had destroyed them all in a bombing raid several months earlier.

However, both al-Adnani and Mills said this latest protest had led to "productive dialogue" once ISIS' leaders realized her storming the stage was not an attempted suicide bombing by their rival group Al-Nusrah Front.

Al-Adnani also said that ISIS would attempt to include a wider variety of races and ethnic groups in future executions and vowed to set up a multicultural "All Deaths Matter" Martyrs Brigade.

ISIS also declared a "period of reflection," to avoid appearing racially insensitive and called off the remaining events of the day, including crushing several children with a bulldozer and immolating a suspected CIA spy.

*.*

English Lesson of the Day:

The phrase “Do go on” contains 3 different pronunciations of the letter ‘o’.

*.*

According to those killjoys over at PETA, there's apparently no right way to eat a Rhesus.

Issue of the Times;
Master Baiters: The Leftists Keeping America’s Race War Alive by Milo Yiannopoulos

My tour was planned with such care, I’ve come to Wisconsin and Minnesota in December. I think they are trying to kill me! They should have brought me up here when the weather was better…. There must be at least one month when the weather is nice here right?

Honestly, the upper Midwest is way too close to Canada. I’m going to have to assume you are all Canadian cucks until proven otherwise. Of course the real cucks are over at UW Madison. Can you imagine the triggering if I showed up at that hotbed of liberal insanity? It would register on the Richter scale. It would be even worse for them that finding out the Wisconsin recount didn’t change a damn thing.

Congrats to Wisconsin on going red!

I know there has been upheaval in your basketball program. They fired the coach this year after 11 seasons. Many of you think it was because of poor performance, player academics, or clashing personalities with the athletic director. You need to start thinking like Democrats…. The basketball team was obviously hacked by the Russians!

Why does the University of Wisconsin Milwaukee have something called the Inclusive Excellence Center? It sounds so sinister. For some reason liberals ALWAYS name these things straight out of 1984. The inclusive excellence center would fit right in with the ministry of truth.

And what does the Inclusive Excellence Center do? It works to control the speech of UWM students through hilarious efforts like the “Just Words” campaign. They’ve spent student’s money to come up with a strategy that boils down to “sticks and stones may break my bones but words hurt my feelings AND YOU CAN’T SAY THEM ANY MORE OR YOU’RE A RACIST BIGOT WHO DESERVES TO DIE”.

You think I’m joking about 1984, but I’m not. They call the flyer portion of the just words campaign “passive programming”. God help you if you are part of their “active programming” which presumably involves electroshock therapy for anyone who accidentally misgenders Caitlyn Jenner.

The Just Words campaign is all about words you shouldn’t say. Apparently you can’t say “are you deaf?” when someone doesn’t hear you, I guess because… a deaf person might hear you and be offended? Who even knows.

You aren’t supposed to say “That’s gay” which I say all day long. That’s gay doesn’t mean something is homosexual, it means it’s retarded! Which you’re not allowed to say either.

Of course you can’t say illegal alien, that would admit America has a problem with illegals. We should probably call it undocumented immigration, it’s just a clerical error!

I’ve gone through the pain of the VISA process ladies and gentlemen, and I am more against illegal aliens than I ever was after that. I kept screaming my safe word and the immigration officials wouldn’t stop torturing me!

My safe phrase by the way is “Women can be funny”.

One of the words you should not use according to the just words campaign is Nazi. I don’t think the campus crybabies have any problem calling Donald Trump and all of his supporters Nazis do they? Obviously, the rules only apply to other people.

There is one final word I have to mention from ‘just words’, and it is man up. Man up is a big no no for liberals, intent on eliminating masculinity from our culture. Toxic masculinity and rape culture and all the other idiotic things they like to say in their war against men.

I’ll tell you one UW Milwaukee student that doesn’t need to man up, Justine Kramer.

This quote unquote non-binary transwoman forced his way into the women’s locker rooms this year.

He got into the women’s room the way liberals always operate, using the government and the courts to weasel their way in where they don’t belong. In this case he made a Title IX complaint. You know, Title IX, the set of rules to protect women on campus? Now they protect trannies in your bathrooms instead.

I’ve known some passing trannies, they have no problem changing in the women’s locker room. But Justine isn’t even trying… I can tell, because I’d still just about do him… the ULTIMATE sign he doesn’t pass.

But tonight I’m here to talk about race relations, and how the left is wrong about everything on race.

Race relations between whites and blacks has always been held to be America’s original sin. You’ve just had a black President for 8 years, and he is now saying America hasn’t overcome its legacy of racism. What more could America do, Mr Obama? Elect you God?

Of course, the appalling legacy in the US ultimately derives from a hideous sin. Every corner of the globe has experienced slavery. Many blacks are descended from slaveholders in Africa, or especially if they are descendants of Egypt as many claim. Almost all cultures had slaves, or indentured servants, or whatever names they come up with. Indentured Servant was like saying undocumented American you see, it just sounds better.

Of the slaves brought to the new world, the vast majority went to central and south America. America and England are different than so many countries, because they realized slavery was wrong and ended it.

American slavery was ended by a bloody civil war. Some of you may be descendants of Wisconsin men that fought to free the slaves. It’s hard for liberal students to understand the concept of a civil war. It’s sort of like aggressive liking and retweeting without permission, but with bullets.

Many of you have better grasp on the civil war that that, but you’re college students, so I have to assume it hasn’t been covered in the same detail as important topics like microaggressions and manspreading.

Slavery is horrific, but the only slavery you hear about is the American kind that ended in the 1860s. According to the UN and other groups, there are an estimated 30 million slaves in the world today, including 14 million in India, and 4% of the population of Mauritania. No one even takes the time to find out where Mauritania is, let alone try to end slavery there.

Why isn’t the American left fighting slavery today on a global scale? I won’t say anything about modern slavery involving a lot of child sex trafficking, which is pizza for another day. The real reason is that slavery in America is used to control American politics and continue to drive a wedge between the races, for the political and financial advantage of a small group of so-called progressive elites.

Although there have been divisions within leadership of the black community since the slaves were freed, modern race relations can be traced back to the sixties. Much of America changed in that era.

If you consider the Reverend Martin Luther King Jr., his message of equality and unity is what mainstream Republicans now seem to believe. If you say you’re colorblind about race on campus, you’ll trigger social justice warriors, who think you are racist for not….identifying people primarily for race.

If a white person gave Dr. King’s famous “I have a dream” speech and said his line “I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” They’d face charges of hate speech from liberals too ignorant of history to even know it’s Dr. King’s line. “All lives matter” is, bizarrely, branded irresponsible and insensitive by major TV networks.

Dr. King’s dream ended when he was killed by a white racist. Black leadership swung to the other side, represented by Malcolm X. It was a sad premonition for the future of black America that Malcolm X was then killed by a black man.

If we fast forward 5 decades, we have not seen improvement in many areas of the black community. In fact, quite the opposite, blacks are measurably much worse off than they once were. I think a change is in order, and a quick tour through a rogue’s gallery of those that have led blacks astray will probably convince you of the same.

I wanted to call this the basket of deplorables, but the phrase was taken by Sick Hillary. So I am calling it the Rogue’s Gallery.

Unlike Hillary who painted millions of Americans with a broad brush, I am taking specific aim at leaders who have hurt black America much more than they helped it.

I am keeping this list to a small selection of the actual rogue’s gallery because we could spend all night listing leaders who have hurt black people in this country in exchange for power or a quick profit.

LBJ became president when Kennedy was murdered. His presidency spelled the beginning of tough times for black America.

In the short term, he escalated the Vietnam war, which cost the lives of soldiers of all backgrounds, including blacks.

In the long term, he created the Great Society, which left him with a legacy as a civil rights champion. That legacy is not deserved, because the great society created a permanent welfare state and installed blacks as an underclass.

LBJ created a world for black people where the Democrat party is their only choice. Herman Cain calls the Democrat party the plantation, and voting Republican is leaving the plantation.

LBJ was a racist. I will leave it up to you to Google some of his quotes about black people!

Jesse Jackson an example of the new breed of civil rights leader that came up after MLK. People interested in personal power and personal wealth at the expense of the people he supposedly dedicated his life to.

Jackson invented things you may find commonplace now. Like black leaders magically appearing when a black person is killed by the police, but disappearing when blacks kill each other.

Many of your parents could tell you about Jackson’s most infamous incident, calling New York City “Hymietown” because of its large jewish population. I guess he doesn’t like the jews… he is like Richard Spencer with a tan.

Throughout his career as a black leader, Jesse Jackson has enriched himself. He has an estimated worth of $10 Million dollars, and his Rainbow PUSH Coalition sounds a bit like the Clinton Foundation — friends and family do well out of it but no one else does.

For example, Jackson once spearheaded a boycott of Budweiser beer. Years later, two of his sons got a sweetheart deal for a Budweiser distributorship in Chicago. Guess who never said a peep about Budweiser again?

Jackson cares about himself, not black people. He famously said about President Obama on a live mic “I want to cut his nuts off”

Jackson pioneered the opportunism we’d see from future prominent black leaders. It turns out race relations is a business, and business is good.

The Clintons are no friend to black America, despite blacks voting for both Bill and Hillary in overwhelming numbers. Can you believe that Bill Clinton was once called “The first black president”?

Bill Clinton’s crime bill put a lot of black men in prison for very long periods. When pundits ask where all the black fathers are, we know a good number are in prison!

We can’t have this pair in the Rogue’s Gallery without recalling Hillary’s famous quotes about the 1994 crime bill:

“They are not just gangs of kids anymore…they are often the kinds of kids that are called ‘super-predators.’ No conscience, no empathy. We can talk about why they ended up that way, but first we have to bring them to heel.”

Bring them to heel. Like a dog, I think she means.

Like you were brought to heel by the Middle Eastern countries that funded your campaign along with radical terror groups?

Of course we know the Clinton’s have profited to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars. Quite a bit of the money in the Clinton Foundation was for disaster relief in places like Haiti, where essentially no Clinton Cash ended up going.

The Clintons represent three decades of the Democrat party being completely sure of getting the black vote, while doing nothing to help the black community in return.

Democrats don’t understand what is wrong in the black community or how to fix it. If they do, they don’t care.

Al Sharpton has a long history of leading black people by inciting division between the races. Some of his most infamous moments are outright hoaxes.

He was involved in the Tawana Brawley rape hoax. It might not have been the first race hoax ever, but it was certainly the first high profile one.

He has been involved in protests against police and whites that have had real effects, like the deaths of innocent and unrelated parties.

Now he makes a reported $500,000 a year to be on MSNBC. He has a net worth estimated at $5 million. Dividing blacks and whites really pays off. At least for a few people.

Sharpton owed nearly that much to the government in taxes. The only people he should be protesting are the IRS.

Al Sharpton is all about the money. His career as a leader for black people can be summed up by the advertisement he made in 2005 for Loanmax, a title loan company. Title loans can have outrageous interest, up to 300% annual percentage rate, but Al didn’t care because he could get a check.

Black Lives Matter is the culmination of racial divide. They’re nothing more than the last socially acceptable hate group in America. They’re the only group dedicated to racial hatred in America that it’s OK to praise around a Manhattan dinner table, or at a D.C fundraiser. They march on the streets calling for the deaths of white police officers, and receive praise in gushing Atlantic essays the following morning. They’ve taken the opportunism of their predecessors and added in the worst identity politics of feminism, marxism, and every other negative ‘ism’ you can think of.

The leadership of Black Lives Matter is loose and evasive, especially if you are asking where donations went to. There’s Johnetta Elzie, who i was worried about fitting on a slide.

There’s Deray McKesson, who pals around pretty closely with Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey. There’s a revolving cast of other characters involved in black lives matter, but what I’m really curious about is why women and gay men are the new leaders of the black community?

Black Lives Matter is the ultimate divisive movement. They aren’t shy about what they don’t like, which is western civilization, capitalism, and the rule of law. They really dislike the police, and certainly get the credit for the war between black men and police.

You’ve experienced this right here in Milwaukee. Rioting Milwaukee citizens were actively looking for white targets, as captured on periscope videos, youtube, and other sources… just not the mainstream media.

What has BLM actually done, besides further divide white people and black people? Just look at how upset they get when we say “All Lives Matter”. They get furious!

The problem with Black Lives Matter is that the opportunism is obvious to the naked eye. Black Lives Matter when taken by white people or the police. They stay silent otherwise.

Sheriff David Clarke, one of the best lawmen in this country, says it best:

“Black Lives Matter has no more to do with black issues than Students for a Democratic Society had to do with Democracy. They are means to an end, and they use the black population as sacrifices for their goals. When black celebrities like Beyoncé jump on board I can only wonder what their goals are – more ticket sales? An easy pass from the liberals who control their contracts? It certainly is not to help their community.”

Sheriff Clarke goes so far as to call it a war, with BLM as the enemy. Sheriff Clarke is a serious guy… when he speaks, America should listen.

And if there is any question who ISN’T listening to Sheriff Clarke, here is a picture of the UW Madison Student Government. They support BLM, but that is the stunning and brave thing for university students to do.

I’ve saved a very special friend for last, Shaun King. He is the whitest black supremacist in America, and was booted out of Black Lives Matter following my reporting on his heritage.

The best way to know Shaun King is white is the way he threw his mom under the bus when it was alleged he wasn’t half black. What black guy would do that to his own mama?

Shaun is as shady as they come, the ultimate Black Lives Matter opportunist, as Sheriff Clarke would describe him.

He has engaged in so much strange behavior over the last year I’m not going to waste your time trying to catalogue it. I will tell you my favorite bit, which was when he wrote me a bizarre email claiming I am obsessed with him, the NRA is a white supremacist organization — that will come as a shock to Sheriff Clarke, who both frequently works with the NRA and is an actual black man — and that the game of pool is a racial symbol. I suppose because the white cue ball hits the colored balls?

And if all that wasn’t enough, Shaun King also looks eerily similar to Manny Escuela, a character from Grand Theft Auto 4.

Ironically enough, Manny also feigns a desire to help the inner-city community all while trying to boost his own social status and achieve fame.

We will revisit Shaun King in a few minutes, but the rogue’s gallery wouldn’t be complete without this particular gringo.

Those in the rogue’s gallery get a big helping hand from the media, which is happy to push fake news in the interest of left-wing politics.

Consider the birth of Black Lives Matter in Ferguson Missouri. The media pushed the meme of “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot”

It is a simple falsehood. Hands up, don’t shoot is NOT what happened in Ferguson Missouri. Yet the media told us it was, and that is certainly what many in the black community still believe.

Everyone got in on the act, and it only inflamed tensions between blacks and the police.

Whenever the media talks about fake news pointing at Breitbart and other alternative media, I think of the burning cities and blood on the streets due to hands up don’t shoot and other fake news concepts.

Remember that NBC edited the George Zimmerman 9-1-1 call to make it sound like he brought up race first, as opposed to answering a question. This is another example of the media fanning the flames.

The final fake news example I will bring you is again from the Milwaukee riots this year. Sylville Smith was shot by a black cop after pointing a gun at him. His sister Sherelle Smith was shown on the news, but most media sources showed only have of her quote.

They showed her saying with great passion:

“Burning down shit ain’t gonna help nothin’,”

“You’re burnin’ down shit we need in our community.”

The full quote from Smith’s sister is more in line with Black Lives Matter:

“Burning down shit ain’t gonna help nothin’,”

“You’re burnin’ down shit we need in our community.”

“Take that shit to the suburbs. Burn that shit down!”

“We need our shit! We need our weave! I don’t wear it, but we need it!”

Maybe the mainstream media will stop with the fake news, but I wouldn’t hold your breath.

Chicago is just down the highway from here, and is the perfect example of how liberals always get race issues wrong.

The city has terrible black on black crime, but Black Lives Matter and the other black leaders are NEVER around.

The leading health hazard to black men isn’t obesity or heart disease, it is living in Chicago!

Chicago is currently at 742 homicides in 2016, it will probably go up by the time people watch this speech on Youtube.

That’s close to doubling the 2015 numbers. About 78% of the victims are black, and the vast majority of those people were killed by guns shot by other black people.

But Chicago has some of, if not the tightest gun laws in the country! The Mayor is an Obama insider, and the city has been under Democrat control forever!

None of this makes sense to the typical liberal, and black leaders simply choose to ignore it.

The policies of liberalism could never fix Chicago and can only make it worse. Chicago doesn’t need government programs, it needs jobs. It needs the safety for the citizens of its worst neighborhoods like Austin and Englewood to know they can walk down the street without dodging bullets.

Donald Trump pointed all of this out, and the left went crazy and called him a racist. But many black people are brave enough to stand up and say the same things.

Fix infrastructure and jobs, bring some safety, and war-torn communities can actually thrive. To say nothing about schools — again, never mentioned by black leaders.

At some point Chicagoans will get tired of living like they are in Aleppo instead of in one off the top cities in the United States.

Hatefacts:

No speech on race baiting would be complete with several statistics that liberals would call hate facts, because it is easier than dealing with the truth.

Black Lives Matter focuses on shootings of black people by police to drive a wedge between black people and well… everyone else. Here are the real facts, for your consideration.

It’s from the work of Criminologist Dr. Richard Johnson of the University of Toledo.

Based on 2012 numbers, it would take 40 YEARS worth of blacks killed by police to equal the total of blacks murdered by other blacks is a SINGLE YEAR
900 people have been killed by cops in 2016. 47% are white males, 24% are black males. Black men are not killed out of proportion especially considering that they are much more likely to interact with cops.
People are killed by police about as often as they are killed by lightning. Why don’t I see protests about storms?
Black males are 58% of those killed legally by private citizens in self defense. You may think that is an AH HA! Moment about racist whites, but 75% of those were killed by other blacks.

FBI statistics on Murder lay bare the real threats to black lives in America:

Black men are about 6.5% of the US population, but commit 52% of all murders over a 30 year period. That has dipped to about 40% in recent years.
Black men overwhelmingly murder other black people. White people overwhelmingly murder other white people.
Looking at overall violent crime, blacks are 27 times more likely to attack whites than vice versa, and 8 times more likely to attack hispanics.
This is the shocking number I hope you take away from my visit- 90% of blacks that die of murder die at the hands of other black people. That’s from the FBI Homicide Report

Much of the modern race divide as practiced by Black Lives Matter is built on the idea of white privilege. Let me tell you black people, when you’re rubbing shoulders with crazy feminists on ideas like privilege, you need to run away screaming.

Male Privilege is bullshit, and white privilege is too.

If White privilege is a thing, why are people working so hard to be black? All of the award shows and cultural events favor black culture.

Shaun King does his damnedest to be a black man despite the handicap of being born white to two white parents.

Some people, the bravest people, have come out as trans-black. My favorite one is Rachel Dolezal.

Dolezal is the real deal when it comes to trans-blackness. She has apparently altered her appearance through atomic tanning sessions and a pact with the devil for kinky hair – which, ironically, cis-black women spend their entire lives fighting against – all in an effort to embrace her imaginary inner blackness and reject her German and Czech dead-ethnicities.

America used to call this “going native”.

She is a professor of Africana Education at Eastern Washington University. Personally I am clueless about “Africana education” outside of a bedroom context.

Dolezal is also the president of the local NAACP chapter, in which capacity she came to the attention of local media by claiming several racial threats which the police have not been able to verify as credible.

Let me tell you, you aren’t really trans-black until you have that vital racial threat against you.

She has a fake black dad! She pretends her adopted black brother is actually her son! Who takes things that far besides crazy white girls?

More importantly, why would even a crazy person go to all this struggle to shed the amazing privilege of being white? The answer is simple…. White privilege isn’t real.

If it were, then how exactly do you explain the decline in record sales and/or success of The King of Pop during his “transition”, hmm? Riddle me that.

Listen, I’m practically trans-black myself, especially if you consider my sex life.

Part of the reason I picked this topic is that I sincerely believe All Lives Matter, including white people, black people, and every other color.

Americans need to unite, not be divided by something as petty as race. There are enough people outside of America that want to destroy it that you don’t need this internal division.

Black Americans must find leadership that isn’t opportunistic or destructive. A war on police and a war on white people will never benefit anybody.

I’m sorry that it takes a gay British guy to give you the unvarnished truth, but that should tell you something about the people who claim to have your interests at heart.

Thank you for your attention this evening, I’d like to open up the floor for questions. As always, no preference will be given for accepting questions based on race, gender, or sexual orientation. Sorry trans-blacks, get in line!

Quote of the Times;
If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the state can shield the people from the political, economic and / or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the state to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the state. – Goebbels

Link of the Times;
https://offgridsurvival.com/
Insolvent?
A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master.

"So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?"

"40," replies the dog.

"How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!"

"I know," says the dog. "However I rounded them up."

*.*

Without further ado, I am proud to present Milo’s MTV reboots:

Daria bin Laden — Daria was a lesbian icon, a proto-SJW without the bad dye job. Why not bring her back as the ultimate Muslim cartoon character? Costs would be low: Daria and the other key female characters would be in burkas the whole time. Daria could go on amazing adventures, like praising the stoning of women and telling ignorant American characters how important female genital mutilation is to her culture. The whole first season could be about her arranged marriage. This show practically writes itself! I would have to make sure that Daria’s best friend Jane Lane dies in an honor killing, because I always hated that bitch.

Pimp My Ride: Da’esh Edition — There is a whole army of ISIS heartthrobs riding around in plain white Toyota trucks paid for by the CIA, or whoever. But you can’t be a stylish terrorist in a factory fresh pickup, so MTV is going to help you pimp your ride! Yes, the format is the same, there will still be the requisite, “Yo dawg, we heard you like weapons, so we added forward and rear-facing machine guns.” Not only will every episode be heartwarming as a Jihadist gets the terror platform of their dreams, western audiences will pick up useful armor tips for driving around danger zones like Columbus, Ohio, Dearborn, Michigan and of course Chiraq.

MTV Uneaten — The acoustic concert program MTV Unplugged can’t return in its original form, because there just isn’t enough decent SJW talent. So MTV Unplugged will now be MTV Uneaten, featuring obese feminists gorging themselves half to death, live on TV, to the sympathetic cooing of the presenters. Each week will feature a different cuisine — or, as is more likely, pizza joint — and the larger-than-life ladies will eat and drink their fill in between complimenting each other’s health as women of size, and of course their amazing bravery.

Viva La BLM — Bam Margera doesn’t fit with the new MTV. He’s too white, and too male. Viva La Bam will return as the network’s flagship show about Black Lives Matter. The crew will pull hilarious pranks like threatening police officers, burning down the local 7-Eleven, stealing plasma TVs and making life hell for other black people. One problem here will be pinning down the cast, Black Lives Matter leaders are notorious for disappearing as soon as accountability comes around. But the network people can work out these little details — that’s why they make the big bucks. Besides, it’s not like BLM is lacking in braindead frauds and attention-seekers. Shaun King and Deray were made for reality TV.

The Real SJW World — The Real World was MTV’s original reality series, combining a cast of strangers that fit into convenient character types in an early effort to brainwash young adults. It needs rebooting to include a cast that’s strictly progressive. Imagine the fireworks when the whole house competes to be the biggest victim! What better chance to show how tolerant Europe has become by a group of genderqueers visiting the “jungle” in Calais — or staging a gay pride parade outside a mosque in Paris? I suppose you can have a white straight male in the house, but only as the requisite villain who gets lynched in the second episode. Of course MTV will be limited to seasons in a few cities like San Francisco, but I’d still watch it.

Beavis and Butthead — Mike Judge’s beloved metalheads will be the only classic MTV show to come back more or less true to the original material. This is MTV’s opportunity to continue mocking white males — the whole point of their YouTube tips video. The existing fanbase will love it, and SJWs can watch it ironically to remember just how evil white males are on days they don’t leave the echo chamber. At the end of the first season, MTV can join the newest liberal cause of making pedophiles cool and acceptable people by including a plotline in which Beavis and Butt-head separately have love affairs with male teachers

*.*

Oneliners:

“Ryan Reynolds” sounds a lot like a Stan Lee character.

If we pop bubble wrap made in China, the air that comes out is from China.

If I had a PhD, I’d buy takeout a lot, and when it got to me I’d say “this is just what the doctor ordered.”

I think the Wicked Witch kept the flying monkeys around to mask her terrible smell since she could never shower.

Somewhere, there’s a 50-year-old billionaire whose future trophy wife hasn’t even born yet.

Rap songs that reference dollar values won’t adjust for inflation and the references will sound cheaper over time.

When you’re criticized for being short, they’re really just saying the worst thing about you is that there isn’t more of you.

*.*

The most frustrating part about barricading yourself in your home and having an armed standoff with police is that when you call for pizza delivery, they never show up!

You'd think the place would be easy enough to find, what with the flashing lights and all those cops to provide directions.

*.*

Love is holding hands in the street
Marriage is holding arguments in the street

Love is cuddling on a sofa
Marriage is deciding on a sofa

Love is going to bed early
Marriage is going to sleep early

Love is a flickering flame
Marriage is a flickering television

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!"

Issue of the Times;
Just a quick reminder: the Federal Reserve is Almost Insolvent by Simon Black

September 10, 2008 was one of the last “normal” days in the world of banking and finance. That afternoon, the US Federal Reserve published its routine, weekly balance sheet report, indicating that the central bank had total assets worth around $925 billion. Just a few days later, Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy, kicking off the most severe economic crisis since the Great Depression. And almost immediately the Fed launched a series of unprecedented measures in a desperate attempt to contain the damage. They called it “Quantitative Easing”, which was a fancy way of saying the Federal Reserve was printing money and giving it to the banks and US government. When the commercial banks needed to sell their non-performing toxic assets, the Fed printed money to buy that garbage. When the US government needed to borrow trillions of dollars to bail out failing companies, the Fed printed money and loaned it to Uncle Sam.

By January 2015, the size of the Fed’s balance sheet had more than quadrupled to $4.5 trillion. It was an astonishing increase; the Fed had essentially conjured more than 3.5 trillion dollars out of thin air. In exchange for all at printed money, the Fed had purchased a bunch of assets, including about $2.4 trillion worth of US government bonds. This ranks the Fed as one of the top owners of US government debt, just behind the Social Security trust funds. In fact the US government owes more money to the Federal Reserve than to China, Japan, and Saudi Arabia combined.

Now, remember that interest rates were at historic lows during the time that the Fed was buying up all that US government debt. From the start of the financial crisis in September 2008 until the day the Fed’s balance sheet peaked in January 2015, the average yield on the 10-year US Treasury was about 2.6%. That’s close to where the 10-year yield is today; just last week it was 2.62%.

This is where things quickly get out of control.

If you don’t know anything about bonds, there’s just one important principle to understand: as interest rates go up, bond prices go down. Just like shares of Apple or Exxon, bonds are financial securities. Investors pay a certain price for bonds just like they pay a certain price for Apple stock. And just like stock prices, bond prices go up and down. Think about it like this: let’s say you own a government bond that pays $25 per year in interest. That $25 per year is set in stone. It’s a contract. And today, the market price for that bond is $1,000. So, in very simple terms, an investor is paying $1,000 for the bond’s $25 annual income stream. That works out to be a 2.5% annual return (not including maturity). At the moment, investors are happy to receive 2.5% because that’s the current rate across most of the market. But let’s say tomorrow the Federal Reserve jacks up interest rates to 10%. Everything changes. Investors can now make 10% just holding money in a bank account.
The bond you own, however, still pays $25 per year. That hasn’t changed. So if you want to sell it, you’ll have to slash the price; no investor will pay $1,000 to earn just 2.5% from the $25/year income stream. Investors can now get 10% elsewhere in the market.

So in order for your bond’s $25/year income stream to match the 10% return that a potential buyer can receive elsewhere, you’ll have to drop your price to just $250. In other words, the price of your bond has dropped 75%, from $1,000 to $250. This is an extreme and simplistic example, but it paints the picture: when interest rates rise, bond prices fall. So let’s go back to the Federal Reserve and its $2.4 trillion government bond portfolio. The Fed recently raised interest rates. And they claim they’ll continue to raise rates for the next 1-2 years. But as we discovered earlier, as the Fed raises rates, the value of their bonds will fall… and the Fed will suffer “unrealized losses”. This is a gigantic problem because the Fed can’t afford to suffer any losses. Since the start of the financial crisis, the Fed has whittled down its capital buffer to almost nothing-- right around $40 billion. This means that the Fed can only afford to lose $40 billion before going bust.

$40 billion might sound like a lot. But considering the Fed has $2.4 trillion in government bonds, and $4.5 trillion in total assets, $40 billion is nothing-- just 0.9% of the Fed’s total asset portfolio. So if bond prices fall by just 0.9%, i.e. interest rates go up just slightly, the Fed will be insolvent. This is already happening: as interest rates have risen, bond prices are starting to fall. And based on the Fed’s own data, they’re already sitting on $14.2 billion in net unrealized losses. So a big chunk of their tiny $40 billion capital buffer has already been wiped out. As interest rates continue to rise, the rest of that $40 billion will vanish, at which point the Fed will be completely bankrupt. And the US government, which itself is totally insolvent, won’t be in a position to bail them out. Look, I’m an optimist. I think these are exciting times and that there’s a ton of incredible opportunity around the world. But it would be seriously foolish to ignore the looming insolvency of the world’s most systematically important central bank.

Two words: Own gold.

Quote of the Times;
Faith in God includes faith in His timing.

Link of the Times;
https://www.themanlyclub.com/
Newspaper?
Oneliners:

The CEO of Apple says they will add new security alerts for iCloud users in two weeks. "As soon as they're done downloading the rest of those Jennifer Lawrence pictures."

Starbucks admits there is no actual pumpkin in its Pumpkin Spice Latte. I don't know about you, but I wasn't really counting on there being any actual frap in my Frappuccino.

Olive Garden is offering a Never-Ending Pasta Pass, where you can get all-you-can-eat pasta for 7 weeks for $100. Perfect for those Americans struggling to carbo load.

Dear Lord, I don't need to remember everything. Just what I changed my password to. Amen.

The new Apple Watch can track your movements to tell you how much you've exercised in a day. It's already given me the nickname, "Kushy job."

*.*

PRISTINA, KOSOVO — During a recent trip to visit U.S. troops in Iraq, Joint Chiefs Chairman Gen. Martin Dempsey was suddenly reminded of the U.S. military’s 15-year mission in Kosovo while glancing at a commercial on the American Forces Network.

“All of a sudden, this commercial aired on AFN, saying that KFOR [Kosovo Force] was ‘ready and relevant’ in the 21st Century. And I’m like ‘what the hell, we still have troops there?”

U.S. troops first arrived in Kosovo in 1999, when Bill Clinton was still president and the Spice Girls were still together. While it would be years before “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” would air on television, the American public was, fortunately, not required to express any interest in military action, as a major sex scandal rocked the Clinton White House the previous year.

“Kosovo? Man, I haven’t thought of that since, well, since Britney Spears still had her original tits!” Army Chief of Staff Gen. Ray Odierno remarked, when asked about the enduring mission of U.S. troops in KFOR.

Kosovo was in the throes of a major humanitarian crisis in the late 1990s, following massive “ethnic cleansing” by the Serbian government and a NATO-led bombing campaign which culminated in a cease-fire. But the nearly 14-year-long Operation Enduring Clusterfuck in Iraq and Afghanistan that kicked off in late 2001 overshadowed the Kosovo mission, however.

That is not to say that Kosovo completely disappeared from public view. In 2013, Lt. Col. Andrew Stephens, a logistics officer in the 3rd Brigade, 10th Mountain Division, mentioned his sole deployment to Kosovo at every opportunity — and was frequently met with eye-rolling from veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan.

In 2012, soldiers from the Georgia National Guard made headlines when their entire company was evicted from Kosovo following a massive hazing ring.

“It appears they got pretty bored and resorted to hazing,” said one Army officer who spoke on condition of anonymity, although why he needed to be anonymous to discuss a mission no one gives a shit about was unclear. “I mean, it’s Kosovo, what else were they going to do?”
When queried about the activities of U.S. forces in KFOR, Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel could only respond, “Basically, KFOR’s been spending the last 15 years making AFN commercials about how relevant they think they are.”

*.*

Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time.

After inquiring about each other's health one asked how the other's husband was doing.

"Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"

"Oh dear! I'm very sorry." replied her friend "What did you do?"

"Opened a can of peas instead."

*.*

Strange warnings on items.

On a packet of juggling balls:
"This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters. Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA."

On a bottle of flavored milk drink:
"After opening, keep upright."

On a can of windscreen de-icing spray:
"Spray works in sub-zero temperatures."

On a can of insect spray:
"Kills all kinds of insects! Warning: this spray is harmful to bees."

*.*

A 26,000-acre wildfire last year in Douglas County, Oregon, was traced to two men who were using power mowers despite restrictions on their use, due to extreme fire conditions. The fire took a month to extinguish. And, state law says, Dominic Decarlo, 70, and Cloyd Deardorff, 64, who have already paid minor fines for unlawful entry into a restricted forestland area, also have to reimburse the state for the firefighting costs, including firefighter salaries, helicopter and bulldozer time, and everything else involved in the effort.

How much? Despite a year of tallying, the state doesn’t know yet, says Jeff Bonebrake of the Oregon Dept. of Forestry. “We could get finalization in the next several weeks or a few more months.” But so far, the tally is more than $37 million. ...Plus interest.

Issue of the Times;
Thomas Jefferson to John Norvell

14 June 1807 Works 10:417—18

To your request of my opinion of the manner in which a newspaper should be conducted, so as to be most useful, I should answer, "by restraining it to true facts & sound principles only." Yet I fear such a paper would find few subscribers. It is a melancholy truth, that a suppression of the press could not more completely deprive the nation of it's benefits, than is done by it's abandoned prostitution to falsehood. Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day. I really look with commiseration over the great body of my fellow citizens, who, reading newspapers, live & die in the belief, that they have known something of what has been passing in the world in their time; whereas the accounts they have read in newspapers are just as true a history of any other period of the world as of the present, except that the real names of the day are affixed to their fables. General facts may indeed be collected from them, such as that Europe is now at war, that Bonaparte has been a successful warrior, that he has subjected a great portion of Europe to his will, &c., &c.; but no details can be relied on. I will add, that the man who never looks into a newspaper is better informed than he who reads them; inasmuch as he who knows nothing is nearer to truth than he whose mind is filled with falsehoods & errors. He who reads nothing will still learn the great facts, and the details are all false.

Perhaps an editor might begin a reformation in some such way as this. Divide his paper into 4 chapters, heading the 1st, Truths. 2d, Probabilities. 3d, Possibilities. 4th, Lies. The first chapter would be very short, as it would contain little more than authentic papers, and information from such sources as the editor would be willing to risk his own reputation for their truth. The 2d would contain what, from a mature consideration of all circumstances, his judgment should conclude to be probably true. This, however, should rather contain too little than too much. The 3d & 4th should be professedly for those readers who would rather have lies for their money than the blank paper they would occupy.

The Founders' Constitution
Volume 5, Amendment I (Speech and Press), Document 29
http://press-pubs.uchicago.edu/founders/documents/amendI_speechs29.html
The University of Chicago Press

The Works of Thomas Jefferson. Collected and edited by Paul Leicester Ford. Federal Edition. 12 vols. New York and London: G. P. Putnam's Sons, 1904--5.

Quote of the Times;
There is no greater evil one can suffer that to hate reasonable discourse. – Plato

Link of the Times;
https://relampagofurioso.com/
Fired?
And to think I wasted good money for this special shampoo for my 5-year-old.

I got his hair all lathered up, then told him there's no Easter Bunny.

"No More Tears," my ass!

*.*

Oneliners:

Shoes are just strap-on floors.

I stay in shape by drinking lots of water during the day and exercising by walking to and from the bathroom forty times at night.

Tuba = Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus

I had a rough childhood. I saw things that no one should ever have to see.
For example, The Phantom Menace.

*.*

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.

"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37.

"Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

*.*

Doctors Close To Cure For Butthurt Disease

After decades of research and development, scientists say they are within reach of a cure for Butthurt Disease, more commonly known as BHD.

“With BHD the rectum gets so inflamed it essentially swallows the rest of the body, making that person an actual, giant asshole,” said lead researcher Doctor Yvette Diaz. “Thus, the puckered frowny-face and shitty attitude.”

According to sources at the Center for Disease Control, BHD is highly contagious and does not discriminate.

Doctors are hopeful as they enter the final stretch of clinical trials and await FDA approval.

*.*

10 Common Words With Bizarre Origins

10 Mullet

Almost everyone is familiar with the mullet, the “business in the front, party in the back” hairstyle that most people hoped would die with the career of Billy Ray Cyrus. What most people don’t know, though, is that our most common use of the word is actually the invention of The Beastie Boys.

Previously, “mullet” had been a 15th-century term for a type of fish with spiny fins, and the word is still used today to describe a fish whose head is large and flat. It wasn’t until The Beastie Boys released a song called “Mullet Head” that modern culture had a name for the hairstyle described in the lyrics as “Number one on the side and don’t touch the back / Number six on the top and don’t cut it wack.” We can add “masters of language” to the many contributions The Beastie Boys have made to society.

9 Snob

“Snob” is another word that has had something of a backward history. Everyone is familiar with the modern meaning, which is a person who believes they are too good to associate with certain groups or buy certain products. Long before you were decrying the beer snob in your group of friends, though, the original “snobs” were simply trying to get by.

The original meaning of “snob” was simply “shoemaker” or “apprentice shoemaker,” and it was used as slang by snooty Cambridge students in the early 18th century to describe non-students, much like modern students might call residents of their college town “townies.” By the 19th century, though, the intellectual ranks of Cambridge’s nobility were having to slum it up with the sons of wealthy merchants, and the term came to refer to these would-be social climbers. Eventually, it lost its classist connotation and became a word for anyone who acts superior regarding their position or tastes.

8 Nightmare

In a post-Freudian world, our view of nightmares is pretty tame. We think of them simply as a jumble of wacky images caused by random neurological misfires. While some, like Freud, might ascribe importance to those subconscious rumblings, we are still comforted with the knowledge that these bad dreams are far apart from the real world.

Of course, that wasn’t always the case. As early as the 13th century, the “mare” in “nightmare” referred to a goblin that was thought to come in the night and suffocate sleepers with evil thoughts. Three centuries later, the word no longer popularly referred to the goblin but to the suffocation itself. The word’s first known use as a reference to any unfortunate dreams wasn’t until 1829. Its first recorded use as a metaphor for any sufficiently distressing event or experience came two years later.

7 Tawdry

As a general rule, “tawdry” is a low word. After all, we use it to refer to gaudy clothing that seeks to look more important than it really is—essentially, the fashion of the modern snob on a budget who is putting on airs. However, this low word has high origins: a saint and the judgment of God.

St. Audrey was once the Queen of Northumbria, but she died in 679 from a tumor in her throat. She considered this to be a kind of karmic punishment for the many stylish necklaces she wore when she was younger, believing that God gave her the tumor to absolve her of her former frivolity. After she died, she was remembered by the sale of St. Audrey’s laces. These were eventually referred to simply as “tawdry laces” in the 16th century until “tawdry” became a description for anything overly ostentatious in the late 17th century.

6 Barbarian

As a word, “barbarian” has a number of connotations, most of which are negative. Very few people wish to be considered uncivilized and “barbaric.” Some are positive, including connotations of strength that owe much to Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Conan the Barbarian movies. In all cases, though, it is used to refer to outsiders who don’t fit into the proper and civilized world. This goes all the way back to the origin of the word, which was coined just to make fun of foreigners.

The word can be traced back to the Greek barbarous, which specifically meant foreign, strange, and ignorant. The root word barbar came from the Greeks’mocking interpretation of foreigners’ speech, which they claimed sounded like nothing more than “bar bar bar.” This basic meaning of “someone who doesn’t speak our language” remained intact until the early 17th century, when the word was first used to refer to someone “rude” and “wild.”

5 Escape

“Escape” functions as both noun and verb, and we tend to use it metaphorically as much as we do literally, describing vacations, for instance, as an “escape from reality.” However, its original definition is much more physical, and much more fun. It is appropriate that “escape,” a word associated with so many stories of heroes and villains avoiding punishment, is connected to the idea of leaving only a cape behind.

Whether they know it or not, most people are familiar with the Latin ex, meaning “out of,” since we still use it in so many modern words. As a verb, “escape” comes to us by way of the 12th-century vulgar Latin excappre, which means to leave someone holding only your cape. Someone who has made an escape, then, is now “ex-cape.” It wasn’t until 1400 that the word became a noun and not until the 19th century was it used in the metaphorical sense of an escape from mental or emotional distress.

4 Goodbye

At first glance, it seems like “goodbye” is a relatively simple combination of “good” and “bye.” However, this is another word that has a surprisingly religious origin. The speaker is actually wishing God’s luck to their parting friend, giving previously casual interactions a whole new spiritual dimension.

“Goodbye” has its roots in the old prayer “God be with you” and ended up condensed primarily through the use of slang. “God be with you” as four separate and distinct words eventually became “God b’w’y,” which itself was eventually shortened to “Godbwye.” As separate phrases, people were already saying “good night” and “good day,” and it eventually made sense to say “good bye” to the person you had greeted with a “good day,” taking God out of the equation.

3 Jeans

Jeans have often been seen as casual clothes, but they have a long history of being functional as well. To many, they represent comfort, especially for those who are working. Interestingly enough, it has always represented comfort, all the way back to the 15th-century Italian sailors who first wore them.

These sailors hailed from Genoa, a city in Italy that was the first to make denim pants. This has often been the subject of historical debate, because denim itself is a French word that comes from the phrase serge di Nimes, a reference to the city of Nimes where it was also made. While France got to claim the fabric itself, Italy got to claim the actual pants, since “jean” (later pluralized to “jeans”) was named after the French word for Genoa, Genes. Casual Friday now gives you a chance to participate in this rich part of international history.

2 Fiasco

“Fiasco” is another word that has passed through many countries to achieve its modern form. The modern word originated in 1855 as slang for failed theatrical performances, but as early as 1862, it referred to non-theatrical disasters as well. “Fiasco” comes from the French fiare fiasco, which translates to “turn out a failure.” The French phrase is itself derived from the Italian far fiasco, which originally meant “make a bottle.”

If you’re confused about what bottle-making has to do with disasters, you’re not alone. There are two prevailing theories about the connection between the phrases. One is that glass crafters in Venice periodically discarded pieces that weren’t perfect. The only thing they were good for was to “make a bottle,” which is why “fiasco” took on its meaning as a reference to failure. Another theory claims that the Italian phrase fare il fiasco referred to the loser of a game who had to buy the next drink, who was said to “make a bottle” appear.

1 Disaster

Fans of both Shakespeare and John Green know about the classic idea of “the fault in our stars,” which is the notion of fate being written in the heavens and dictating the actions of characters such as star-crossed lovers Romeo and Juliet. The common word “disaster” comes from this medieval idea.

“Disaster” is a combination of the word “dis,” which typically means “unfortunate” or “lacking,” and “astro,” which refers to either a star or planet. This conveys astrological connotations of something bad happening because of the position of a certain star or planet. While “disaster” has long since come to mean any large calamity, it is interesting how the ideas behind the original meaning persist, from the ongoing popularity of horoscopes to the song “Born Under a Bad Sign.”

Issue of the Times;
Immigrants Who Skipped Work To Support Immigration Became Upset When Subsequently Fired

In a move of solidarity, the left (those of them with employment, that is) decided to not work last Thursday in something called “A Day Without Immigrants.” Purportedly to make the economy take a small hit for a day and make us feel the absence of immigrants, their families, and their sympathizers financially, it was supposed to make us have a higher value in our minds of them.

Problem is, some people got the sack for walking off the job, other people just got pissed off when they had to cover for their activist coworkers, and the rest of us just didn’t notice. Today, we’re going to talk about why this Day Without Immigrants is not only not the right thinking for the leftists to be having, but why it is precisely the wrong thinking as well.

Skipping work to protest

Among the participants in this day without immigrants were 18 employees of a painting company in Nashville, TN. They informed their supervisors that they would be skipping work to do the protesting, and the company informed them that they were fired. One fired worker was upset that they were not allowed to remain employed and make up the work on a Sunday.

Knowing that the above wishes are not exactly how the business world works, the company responded that, nothing doing with peaceful protesting, the 18 employees decided to not meet their obligations to the business’s clients, and, in the interest of fairness to the employees that actually showed up to work, they had to be terminated.

This fundamental lack of common understanding that these people who skipped work to protest, and the left, especially the young left, have showcases a misconception that they have about the rest of us.

No one here has a problem with immigration

The left delights in the use of straw men arguments. I think the reasoning behind it is twofold; firstly, much of the left’s arguments make no sense at all, so they have to find something easier to defend, and, secondly, bearing that in mind, it is the party of the intellectually weak.

The straw man at play here is that “the right, the rich, the whites, the Christians, and the men” hate immigrants because they are something different; i.e. liberal, poor, brown, Muslim, or a woman and that ALL immigrants are equally hated regardless of their immigration status.

This is done by focusing on the demographics of the individuals in question at the moment, instead of more important things like their ethics and underlying motivation, and also by blurring the conversation via biased language like “undocumented immigrant,” which implies that this person, here illegally, is actually a great person who is immigrating legally; it’s just that the paperwork got delayed, instead an “illegal alien,” which is what the actual term for the legal status of the person is.

This country was founded on immigrants. My great-grandparents took the boat through Ellis Island and became citizens by not only swearing an oath to the USA, but also against their native country. They came here legally, through due process, wanted to become Americans, did so, and lived law abiding, productive lives afterwards. Millions of Americans have the same stories.

What we do have a problem with is “Dash-Americanism” and Illegal Entry

Ever notice how no one is just an American anymore? African Americans, Islamic Americans, Latin Americans, Asian Americans? Seems like the only actual Americans are white people; the terms Caucasian American and European American never took off, and Appalachian American just translates to redneck.

You don’t need a cool term to be different, anyone can see where you’re from by what you look like, and I thought equality meant that it didn’t matter anyway. The problem with all this is divided loyalty; I’m going to quote Teddy “Big Stick” Roosevelt here:

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism. When I refer to hyphenated Americans, I do not refer to naturalized Americans. Some of the very best Americans I have ever known were naturalized Americans, Americans born abroad. But a hyphenated American is not an American at all … The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin, of preventing all possibility of its continuing to be a nation at all, would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities, an intricate knot of German-Americans, Irish-Americans, English-Americans, French-Americans, Scandinavian-Americans or Italian-Americans, each preserving its separate nationality, each at heart feeling more sympathy with Europeans of that nationality, than with the other citizens of the American Republic … There is no such thing as a hyphenated American who is a good American. The only man who is a good American is the man who is an American and nothing else.

The problem with “dash-Americanism” is that you can’t totally be trusted. This works on a micro- and a macro- scale. Micro- would be when you have a complaint at work and the HR person and the complainer are the same race while you are a different one and the outcome is affected by that. Or when someone is not a permanent citizen and send their paycheck home to their families in their home country. Macro- would be when an entire people start moving here and are united by a common creed or religion and consider you the enemy.

The other problem is illegal entry. If you are already a criminal by breaking laws to come here, even though you may have rationalized it as the right thing to do, what’s to stop you from breaking more laws? The citizenship process is not onerous, people have been doing it for years. One must presume that illegals are either hiding criminal backgrounds, have no valuable skills, or don’t want to pay taxes.

Missing work shows your true colors

The problem with arbitrarily taking a day off, even if you used a vacation day (and I bet most of them just skipped work) is not that you are showing solidarity with the immigrants, it’s that you’re showing your ass to your coworkers and employers.

I didn’t notice much because I was on a deadline for a technical document, but my employer got hit by people just being “peace, I’m out!” and skipping a day. Building cars is a team activity, and we plan for only a certain percentage to take vacation at a time, plus factor in for people being legitimately ill and out because of it.

The statement that taking off from work and leaving your coworkers to struggle to get the job done says that you care more about “dash-Americans” than Americans en total, and also that you have no problem breaking the rules when you see fit while expecting no consequences to come to you. If that sounds like the problem that the rest of America already has with the “immigrant issue,” that I described above; it’s because it is. You signed up to do a job; no one cares about your ancestry; you bailed on your people; get fired.

Conclusion

America’s standards haven’t changed. We want good immigrants who will be loyal to the country, law abiding, and productive. It’s cool to hold onto your roots, but you have to leave militant Islam, La Raza, or whatever sort of third world trouble you have behind, because if you don’t, it’s not America not giving you a fair deal—it’s you not giving us one.

Quote of the Times;
"The hell you can't. Because we did it. These Muslims are no different than the [Imperial] Japanese. The Japs had their suicide bombers too, but we stopped them. What it takes is the resolve and will to use a level of brutality and violence that your generations can't stomach. Until you can, this Shit won't stop. It took us on the beaches with bullets, clearing out caves with flame throwers, and men like Curtis LeMay burning down their cities, and killing people by the tens of thousands. It even took two atom bombs on top of that. But if that was what it took to win we were willing to do it. Until you are willing to do the same, well I hope you enjoy this Shit, because it ain't going to stop."

- Quote from a WWII veteran after hearing a Liberal say, "You can't bomb an ideology."

Link of the Times;
http://www.itstactical.com/
Georgetown?
Three scientists were talking one day when one of them asked if there had ever been an experiment carried out to determine the effect of blocking off an elephants rectum for an extended period of time. They discovered that it had never been tried and so they resolved to try it themselves.

They got an elephant and inserted a huge plug into its arse and let the elephant go about its daily business of eating 500 pounds of greenstuff a day.

After a couple of days, it occurred to the scientists that someone was going to have to remove the plug from the elephants arse. None of them were prepared to do it so they got themselves a monkey and trained it to remove the plug when it heard a particular bell sound.

Come the day of the end of the experiment when the plug was finally to be removed, they set themselves up at respectable distances from the monkey and elephant –

1 scientist was 50 yards away, 1 was 500 yards away and the third was a mile away.

All had recording equipment etc set up to record the event.

One had a button to press to sound the bell and prompt the monkey to remove the plug from the elephant's arse.

The button was pressed, the bell sounded and there was this god-almighty explosion.

The scientist at 1 mile from the elephant was splattered with shit and he raced up to the scientist 500 yards from the elephant. He too was covered in shit.

They both raced up to the scientist who had set himself up 50 yards from the elephant to find him up to his neck in shit, covered in scratches and bruises and with a couple of broken bones in his arms and legs. He was also pissing himself laughing. One of his colleagues commented on all the injuries he had sustained and asked why was he laughing so much.

"The bell sounded, the monkey pulled the plug and I was injured when the blast threw me backwards away from my position.", he said.

"But why were you laughing so much?", his colleagues asked again.

"You'd be laughing too if you could have seen the expression on the monkey's face as he tried to put the plug back in."

*.*

Oneliners:

When you check your phone for the time it is the same motion as checking a pocket watch.

What would happen if Alex Trebek did an AMA and everyone gave him answers and he responded with questions.

Tinder should have a 'recommend a friend' button.

My cats must think me to be an amazing hunter. Leaving on long trips, and often coming back tired, with enough food for weeks.

Lighting a candle for each year of your life on a birthday cake and then blowing them out is a weird existentialist ritual that symbolizes how your life will inevitably be extinguished.

Eating candy never ruined my dinner. It just meant that my dinner was candy.

I feel really bad for people who had bad eye sight before glasses were invented

If I can´t handle you at your worst, you´re probably a horrible human being.

Can people please stop dating Taylor Swift?

Restaurants and Supermarkets should just tile their floors with yellow squares that say "Caution : Wet Floor", then they're always covered.

*.*

A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!"

They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.

"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by.

From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.

Said one clergy to the other; "Do you think we should change our sign to: Bridge Out instead?"

*.*

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained professionals and I was in
good hands.

"Now," She asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

*.*

"Good looks catch the eye
but a good personality catches the heart;
and you are blessed with both."

Don't be flattered, this message was sent to me.
I just wanted you to read it.

Issue of the Times;
Georgetown, Slavery, and the Riots in Sweden by William Kilpatrick

Two years ago, Georgetown University made a show of repenting of its past connections to slavery by renaming two buildings whose namesakes had once sold slaves.

It might be expected then that when a Georgetown faculty member defends slavery, not just online, but in the course of a ninety-minute lecture, the reaction would be swift and severe. We would expect that the wayward academic would be relieved of his duties and sentenced to a re-education program, or else be fired outright.

Unless, of course, he was a Muslim defending Islamic slavery—in which case the rules of multicultural diversity come into play, and all is forgiven. The strongest reaction the administration could muster was this statement:

As an academic community, we are committed to academic freedom and the ability of faculty members to freely pursue their research and express their analysis. While we defend this academic freedom, the body of a faculty member’s work does not necessarily represent the University’s position.

That anemic response was all I could find when googling the words “Georgetown responds to professor who defends slavery.” So when it becomes known that two long-dead Jesuits profited from the sale of slaves, Georgetown appoints a panel of sixteen and renames two of its buildings, but when a living, breathing faculty member defends slavery (and rape), it “does not necessarily represent the University’s position.”

According to the official response, Georgetown is “committed to academic freedom and the ability of faculty members to freely pursue their research and express their analysis.” But if one digs a little deeper, it appears that high-minded commitment to academic freedom is not the only consideration.

The professor in question, Jonathan A.C. Brown, is a convert to Islam and is the director of Georgetown’s Alwaleed bin Talal Center for Muslim-Christian Understanding. Twelve years ago, Prince Alwaleed contributed $20 million to the Center. And one supposes that he and other Arabs have contributed more in the meantime. In addition, the Center has become the go-to place for establishment people in government, media, and the Church to find research to support their view that Islam means peace, and that anyone who disagrees is a bigoted “Islamophobe.”

So the Center brings both money and prestige to Georgetown. Given those circumstances, it might not be prudent for Georgetown to make a fuss about a “minor” matter such as Islamic slavery. With their gift, the Saudis, it seems, have purchased Georgetown’s silence.

What exactly did Professor Brown say? Here are some samples so you can judge for yourself whether Georgetown’s tepid response was adequate. On February 7, 2017, in a speech to the International Institute of Islamic Thought in Herndon, Virginia, he said:

I don’t think it’s morally evil to own somebody, because we own lots of people all around us, and we’re owned by people.

(In response to a question) The Prophet of God had slaves. He had slaves. There’s no denying that… Are you more morally mature than the Prophet of God? No, you’re not.

(On the question of sexual slavery) It’s very hard to have this discussion because we think of, let’s say in the modern United States, the sine qua non of morally correct sex is consent. We think of people as autonomous agents… If you take away the consent element, then everyone starts flipping out … we fetishize the idea of autonomy to the extent that we forget, again, who’s really free?

In his Facebook page, Brown is more explicit: “Slave women do not have agency over their sexual access, so their owner can have sex with them.”

Professor Brown’s observations provide a glimpse into the Muslim mind—a glimpse that Georgetown officials would prefer you not have. Almost the central project of the Center for Muslim-Christian Understanding has been to combat “Islamophobia”—by which is meant an irrational fear of Islam. But Professor Brown’s remarks suggest that people who fear Islam have good reason to do so.

Go back to his comment on Muhammad: “The Prophet of God had slaves… Are you more morally mature than the Prophet of God?” For Brown and for the vast majority of Islamic scholars, that is the clinching argument: Muhammad could do no wrong.

Some Catholics like to comfort themselves with the notion that Catholics and Muslims have similar codes of morality. But, as Brown’s comments suggest, Islamic morality is based largely on the example of Muhammad. Consider this item from his Facebook page: “It’s not possible to say that slavery is inherently, absolutely, categorically immoral in all times and places since it was allowed by the Qur’an and the Prophet.”

There is in Islam no rational, natural-law basis for discerning right from wrong. What Muslims have, for the most part, is the example of Muhammad—the “perfect man.” When defending Muhammad’s marriage to nine-year-old Aisha, Brown says: “You cannot say from a Sharia perspective that what the Prophet did was wrong because the Prophet can’t commit sins.” That’s the way Islamic morality works. Muhammad married a nine-year-old, so marriage with underage girls is permissible. Muhammad had slaves, so slavery can’t be immoral. Muhammad had sex slaves, so that can’t be wrong either. Muhammad killed infidels for no other reason than that they were unbelievers. Therefore, unbelievers can be justifiably killed.

By the way, simply believing in God doesn’t protect you from the wrath of Allah. If you don’t believe that Muhammad is the Messenger of God, you are, by definition, an unbeliever. You can, under certain circumstances, be legitimately killed or enslaved or raped. Being a fairly new convert, Professor Brown was a tad more honest about these things than an experienced Islamic apologist should be. Nevertheless, he has done us infidels a favor by pulling back the curtain and revealing the dark heart of Islam—that it is a religion made in the image and likeness of Muhammad.

Another glimpse into the reality of Islam was provided last week by Muslim rioters in Stockholm, Sweden. Swedish officials have long tried to cover up the extent of Muslim immigrant crime, and the Western media has been happy to play along with the pretense. So when President Trump made a reference during a speech to what happened “last night in Sweden,” the media was quick to pounce. Nothing of note had happened in Sweden the night before, they gloated: Trump had got it wrong again. His implication that Muslim immigration had led to a surge in violence was baseless. Did Trump not know that Sweden was still the land of harmony, peace, and prosperity—of Pippi Longstocking, ABBA, and Volvos?

And then, the next day, rioting erupted in Rinkeby, a suburb of Stockholm. For over four hours, a mob of seventy, many of them masked, set fire to cars, looted shops, beat passers-by, and threw rocks at police. Nor was this the first time. Sweden has experienced numerous riots. The worst of them lasted almost a week in 2013:

The riots began in the immigrant-dominated suburb of Husby, but quickly spread to other suburbs such as Rinkeby, Tensta, Kista and the town of Södertälje south of Stockholm. Night after night, rioting immigrants left images of broken windows, burnt walls, and scorched car parks. Cars were torched and several schools and a police station were set ablaze.

In addition to rioting and soaring crime rates, Sweden has the second highest incidence of rape in the world. Many of the assaults are committed in crowded public spaces:

This is evident in the increasing mass sexual assaults and rapes committed by migrants at Swedish festivals. In July 2016 at Bravalla, Sweden’s largest music festival, there were nearly 40 assaults, including five rapes. A week earlier at Putte i Parken (Party in the Park), a free festival in Karlstad, there were 32 similar sexual attacks where the youngest victim was just twelve years old.

The establishment wants to keep alive a certain narrative about Muslim migration into Sweden—namely, that the migrants are happily and peacefully integrating into Swedish society. Unfortunately for them and their narrative, reality keeps intruding on the pretty picture they have drawn.

Something similar is happening at Georgetown. The university wants to keep alive the notion that Islam is no different from—and maybe even better than—other world religions. And then someone like Professor Brown lets slip a few home truths about Islam and threatens to spoil the whole narrative.

In response to the riots in Sweden, a few members of the mainstream media were honest enough to report, however briefly, on the violence. Will Georgetown act accordingly in regard to Professor Brown’s defense of Islamic slavery? So far they’ve done essentially nothing. Evidently, university officials are hoping that the fuss will die down and things will return to normal.

But the normal work of the Alwaleed bin Talal Center is to churn out shoddy and tendentious research designed to show that Islam is as normal as apple pie. The main business of the Center is to convince Catholics that “Islamophobia” is the greatest threat to our nation, while deceiving them entirely about the nature and aims of Islam. If Georgetown’s Disneyfied view of Islam prevails, then America will almost certainly suffer the same fate as Europe, where riots and rape are the new normal, and where cathedrals, synagogues, and national monuments must be protected by security forces and bulletproof barriers.

Georgetown University once profited by selling slaves, now it is profiting by allowing the Saudis to purchase influence and spread disinformation. But this is not simply a game of “gotcha”—of catching the MSM in one more lie, or of pointing out the hypocrisy of a prestigious Catholic institution. The stakes are too high. The point of calling attention to Georgetown’s misadventures is not to score points, but to awaken the university to its Catholic calling. And, if that is not possible, to alert other Catholics to the university’s Islamic whitewash operation.

While Georgetown is busy fighting “Islamophobia,” Christians are being enslaved in Africa, and exterminated in the Middle East. What we are witnessing is not a misunderstanding between cultures, but the unfolding of a spiritual war—one with a bloody physical front. Most Christians are hardly aware that the battle has been joined. And some—like those at Georgetown—are naively abetting the wrong side. By its silence over the Islamic slavery issue, Georgetown has taken one more step into the darkness. Other Catholics would be foolish to follow their lead.

Quote of the Times;
An irreligious society cannot endure the truth of the human condition. It prefers a lie, no matter how idiotic it may be. - Davila

Link of the Times;
https://www.amren.com/features/2017/02/black-slavery-middle-east/
Older Newer
Several animals were savagely beaten in the making of this page, including but not limited to; kittens, rabbits, zebu, skunks, puppies, and platypus. Also several monkeys where force fed crack to improve their typing skills.

And someone shot a duck.

An Images & Ideas, Inc. Service.

No Vegans were harmed in the making of this site. We're looking for a new provider.