A Texan lands in Sydney, and is picked up by a taxi. After requesting a tour of the city, he starts into a tirade about the small town airport and how in Texas they have larger runways on their ranches.
They are soon crossing the Sydney Harbor bridge, and the man is further unimpressed; "I have a duck pond bigger than that harbor, and an ornamental bridge to span it that makes this look like a toy".
The Sydney-Newcastle expressway also gets his scorn, "Is this a road, or a track?"
So when a kangaroo jumped out in front of the cab, causing the sudden and severe application of the brakes, the driver couldn't help himself; "Stupid grass hoppers!"
A young Arab boy asks his father “What is that strange hat you are wearing?”
The father said: "Why, my son, it is a 'chechia.' In the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun.”
"And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing?” asked the boy.
“Oh, my son!” exclaimed the father “It is very simple. This is a 'djbellah.' As I have told you, in the desert it
is not only very hot, but the sand is always blowing. My djbellah protects the entire body.”
The son then asked: "But Father, what about those ugly shoes you have on your feet?”
"These are 'babouches' my son,” the father replied. You must understand that although the desert sands are
very beautiful, they are also extremely hot. These babouches' keep us from burning our feet.”
"So tell me then," added the boy.
"Yes, my son…”
"Why are you living in Minnesota and still wearing all this shit?
Seattle, WA - Seattle becomes the first major U.S. city to ban plastic straws and utensils in all restaurants.
San Francisco, sensing a threat to its status as front-runner in the Progressivelympics, has responded by completely banning all food and beverages in restaurants city wide starting 2020.
In similar news…
House Democrats Draft Legislation That Would Make It A Hate Crime To Eat At Chick-Fil-A
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Under intense pressure from their left-leaning constituents to do something about the dangerous, Christian-founded restaurant chain, Democrats in the House of Representatives unveiled legislation Friday that would make it a hate crime to eat at Chick-fil-A.
The CFAHATE Act Of 2019 would make it a hate crime punishable by federal law to dine at the restaurant or use its drive-thru, with extra punishments for people who post that they’re eating at the restaurant on their social media accounts. The legislation would also impose heftier penalties for anyone who patronizes the extremist hate group’s chicken sandwich establishments during Pride Month.
“We want people making fast-food dining choices to think carefully about a restaurant’s background,” House Minority Leader and bill co-sponsor Nancy Pelosi said in a video posted to her official YouTube account. “If a restaurant’s leadership is associated with Christian values in any way, frequenting their locations amounts to literal violence against minorities, women, and the LGBTQ+ community.”
According to Pelosi, the legislation was rushed into motion after Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey posted that he was eating at Chick-fil-A on his Twitter account last weekend, and was later forced to apologize after weathering severe criticism by progressives. Federal agents found they were unable to prosecute him, since eating at a Christian-owned restaurant wasn’t “technically” defined as a hate crime under United States law.
“It’s 2019. It’s time to put intolerance behind us by making any association with Christians in the public sphere simply intolerable,” Pelosi concluded.
My upstairs neighbor called me at work today to tell me she heard several men in my place making a lot of noise and laughing loudly.
How come this stuff never happens when I'm home?
Quote of the Times;
“We’re gonna go in there and we’re gonna impeach the motherfucker.” - Representative Rashida Tlaib
Link of the Times;
Issue of the Times;
The Zeller-Nikolov climate discovery may turn the world upside down by Christopher Calder
Nature created the fundamental mathematical relationship now known as E=mc2. A mathematical finding, if proven valid, is a real phenomenon; as real as finding a diamond in a river bed. Nature creates fundamental mathematical relationships; humans only discover them.
The straightforward and crystal-clear mathematical discovery by Dr. Karl Zeller and Dr. Ned Nikolov has many enemies. If their finding is proven accurate, it could bankrupt the wind and solar industries and put heavy pressure on politicians to end biofuel mandates. It would embarrass most politicians and almost all climate scientists, even those who believe carbon dioxide has no significant effect on Earth temperatures.
The Zeller-Nikolov climate finding uses official NASA data to quantify the average temperatures of the hard-surfaced satellite bodies orbiting our Sun. The formula is not applicable to the gas planets: Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune. Zeller and Nikolov claim to be able to determine the long-term average temperature of Venus, Earth, Mars, Titan (a moon of Saturn), and Triton (a moon of Neptune) by using just two informational values: their distance from the Sun and their atmospheric pressure.
Zeller and Nikolov have found that the gaseous composition of atmospheres is immaterial to determining long-term average temperatures. For example, the atmosphere of Venus is composed of 96.5% carbon dioxide, while Earth's atmosphere contains only .04% carbon dioxide, yet those vast differences are irrelevant to the mathematical calculations required to determine average temperatures. This mathematical proof tells us that even though Venus has 2,412 times more carbon dioxide than Earth measured as a percentage of its atmosphere, that CO2 has no measurable effects on its average long-term temperature. Zeller and Nikolov claim that carbon dioxide and all the other atmospheric gases only contribute to temperature by their physical mass and resultant atmospheric pressure. They point out that their predictions for planets and moons are accurate to within one degree Celsius, a confidence-inspiring finding so precise that coincidence can reasonably be ruled out.
The Zeller-Nikolov discovery means that Earth's atmosphere keeps us warm via gas-compression heating under the weight of Earth's approximately 300-mile-thick atmosphere, not by the greenhouse effect. An actual greenhouse has a glass wall enclosing it. Earth has no enclosure and is open to space, so the two scientists suggest that the term "greenhouse effect" be replaced by "atmospheric thermal enhancement." Heat is created by compressing atmospheric gases through the pull of gravity. Similarly, in a diesel engine a piston is used to compress gases to generate enough heat to eliminate the need for a spark plug. The tremendous gravitational pull on the enormous mass of Earth's atmosphere combined with solar radiation warms our planet just enough to allow carbon-based life forms to flourish.
If carbon dioxide was the powerful greenhouse gas alarmists claim it to be, the calculations for Venus would have to be dramatically different than the calculations for Earth, but they are the same. This tells us that CO2 has no measurable direct effect on planetary temperature, which makes perfect sense as the Earth has experienced severe ice ages when atmospheric CO2 levels were many times higher than they are today.
The carbon dioxide-driven greenhouse gas theory Swedish scientist Svante Arrhenius first proposed in 1896 has never been proven valid by empirical testing. Svante's ideas sounded plausible, so people accepted them without proof. More recently, American politicians literally ordered the IPCC to burn through enormous amounts of taxpayer dollars concocting wild and fanciful computer-model projections based on Svante's assumptions. As the old computer-programming saying goes, "garbage in, garbage out" (GIGO).
All of the IPCC's doomsday climate predictions have failed to materialize despite our heavily biased media's best efforts to distort and exaggerate. Ordinary summer heat waves and winter storm activity has been falsely portrayed as precursors to the end of the world, which will certainly come unless we elect more Democrats. Climate gurus keep pushing the date of catastrophe into the future because the global doom they keep predicting never arrives. What has arrived are ordinary and expected minor fluctuations in Earth's climate that have been going on since Earth was formed. Ask yourself, when did the Earth have a climate that was more pleasant and beneficial to mankind than the climate we have today? The honest answer is simply never.
Despite multiple technical reviews by scientists around the world, no one has found error in Zeller and Nikolov's mathematical formulas and specific computations. Objections raised against their discovery are largely that it does not fit accepted climate theories that are professionally and politically popular. Climate science has become an Orwellian tool of political power and an enormous money-making profession for scientists, professors, universities, state and federal government employees, and a thousand and one green-scam businesses. Just think of all the billions of dollars being spent on "global warming" and the mandated false remedies. No doom equals no costly remedies and no profits for those selling fear.
Real scientists know that you cannot control the weather with windmills and solar panels any more than you can control the weather with bowling balls and statues of dead politicians, yet the costly and impractical renewable-energy fad continues. Crony capitalists and ambitious but scientifically naive politicians from Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, to Beto O'Rourke, to billionaire Michael Bloomberg want taxpayers to spend trillions of dollars on energy schemes that have already raised the cost of food and energy all over the world. This has harmed the world's poor far more than the wealthy, the very opposite of what liberals are supposed to stand for. Now they want us to dramatically escalate our war against the carbon atom, the very element all our food and our own bodies are made of. Carbon creatures fighting carbon; human events rarely get more twisted and surreal than this.