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If you were a child when "Red, Red Wine" was released, UB40ish now.


Here's a great tip: On your way to bed, ring the doorbell.

That way, the dogs will get off the bed and that allows you time to get comfortable.


I asked a supermarket worker where they kept the canned peaches. He said, "I'll see" and walked away.

He never came back. When I saw another supermarket worker, I asked him. He said, "I'll see" and walked away. He never came back either.

I got tired of waiting and started looking up and down every aisle. I finally found them.

They were in Aisle C.


How many long billed, tropical birds does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Tou can.


This public safety reminder: Monday is Valentine's Day.

You're welcome.

Quote of the Times;
He whose life has a why can bear almost any how. - Nietzsche

Link of the Times;

Issue of the Times;
Midterm Variant Wrecking Flu Manchu Mandates by Lawrence Person

Have you noticed the change in the air?

Just a few weeks ago, Democrats were still talking about enforcing mask and vaccine mandates.

Then the poll numbers got through to them.

Not since the collapse of the Hindenburg Line in 1918 have such bitterly held positions been abandoned so quickly.

New York Gov. Kathy Hochul surrenders:

Gov. Kathy Hochul will drop New York’s stringent indoor mask mandate on Wednesday, ending a requirement that businesses ask customers for proof of full vaccination or require mask wearing at all times, and marking a turning point in the state’s coronavirus response, according to three people briefed on her decision.

The decision will eliminate a rule that prompted legal and interpersonal clashes over mask wearing, especially in conservative parts of New York. It was set to expire on Thursday and would have required renewing.

Ms. Hochul’s decision will let the mask mandate lapse just as a crushing winter surge in coronavirus cases is finally receding. But it was not yet clear whether the governor would renew or drop a separate mask mandate in New York schools that is set to expire in two weeks.

Are Democrats crazy enough to drop restrictions for adults but keep the ones harming children despite children at extremely low risk? Maybe. How else can they punish parents for daring to reject Critical Race Theory?

The same piece notes that New Jersey’s democratic governor also got religion on the issue.

It was Gov. Philip D. Murphy of New Jersey who began the effort last fall, weeks after he was stunned by the energy of right-wing voters in his blue state, who nearly ousted him from office in what was widely expected to be an easy re-election campaign. Arranging a series of focus groups across the state to see what they had missed, Mr. Murphy’s advisers were struck by the findings: Across the board, voters shared frustrations over public health measures, a sense of pessimism about the future and a deep desire to return to some sense of normalcy.

See, Democrats are listening to the science! The science of focus groups.

Another data point: CNN’s resident “doctor” Leana Wen says it’s time.

Despite nothing changing at all, CNN’s resident ‘doctor’ Leana Wen claimed this week that “the science has changed” and so COVID restrictions including mask mandates should now be rescinded.

Wen failed to cite any studies or data that shows the science has changed.

Wen, who started to admit some weeks ago that masks don’t work in stopping the spread of COVID, stated that “the decision to wear a mask should shift from a government mandate to an individual choice.”

She added that kids in schools should not be forced to wear masks because it can be harmful and makes it harder for them to learn.

Welcome back to 2020, “Doctor” Wen, when everyone who didn’t have a (D) after their name already figured this out. I’m just going to leave these here:

Just wait, Leana Wen, who was born in Shanghai, China, is only 39 years old, managed to be interviewed on CNN regarding the Boston Marathon bombing, became the head of Planned Parenthood, and is CNN's Covid expert? Do I have this right?

— Bacon & More (@BaconMore1) February 8, 2022

Dr. Leans Wen, who was calling for your children to be forced to wear nothing short of a “medical-grade, 3-ply surgical mask” in schools a month and a half ago, would now like to move beyond “divisiveness”

— Drew Holden (@DrewHolden360) February 9, 2022

More Democratic governors abandoning mandatory masking for children: New Jersey’s Phil Murphy, Connecticut’s Ned Lamont, and Delaware’s John Carney.

Two Republican governors were way, way, waaaaay ahead of the curve of their Democratic counterparts in eliminating lockdowns, masking and vaccine mandates. Both were ruthlessly smeared as dangerous extremists who wanted to kill grandma. One was Florida governor Ron DeSantis:

It was @GovRonDeSantis who:

First recognized little outdoor spread (beaches)

First reopened businesses realizing lockdowns were ineffective and destructive

Sent kids back to school

Blocked government mask mandates

Unmasked kids

Banned vaxpasses

Florida followed data.

— Kyle Lamb (@kylamb8) February 9, 2022

Where does DeSantis go to get his apology from the liberal media?

The second Republican governor who scared Democrats into doing the right thing was Virginia’s Glenn Youngkin.

Very, very rarely do you see the leadership of a major state political party so badly miscalculate where it stands, both in overall public opinion and amongst its own rank-and-file legislators. Three weeks ago, Virginia Democratic Party chair Susan Swecker declared that, “Masks are essential to keeping students safe and schools open, but Glenn [Youngkin] would rather use our children as political cover to appease the extreme, far-right fringes of his own party.”

Got that? Wanting parents to decide whether or not their kids wear masks to school is a position of the “extreme, far-right fringes.” So Virginia Democrats prepared themselves for an epic showdown over masking in schools.

And then they lost, badly. On Tuesday, almost half the Democrats in the Virginia State Senate said, “Nah, we’re fine with having parents decide”:

The Virginia Senate on Tuesday overwhelmingly approved a bill that would prevent local school boards from levying mask mandates and from punishing students whose parents opt to send their child to school without a mask.

Sen. Chap Petersen, D-Fairfax City, filed the provision Tuesday as an amendment to a bill about in-person learning introduced by Sen. Siobhan Dunnavant, R-Henrico. Democrats have 21 votes in the Senate to Republicans’ 19. Ten Democrats voted for the amendment, nine voted against it, and two abstained.

The bill is expected to clear the GOP-controlled House.

Youngkin hailed the Senate vote as a “victory for parents and children.” His administration plans to fast-track the bill to becoming law once it reaches his desk, meaning that it could be the law in less than two weeks.

Never forget that just five days ago, the national press had a meltdown over Glenn Youngkin not wearing a mask in a grocery store that didn't require masks. Five days ago. Now, they are praising Democrats for lifting mask mandates.

— Bonchie (@bonchieredstate) February 9, 2022

Now some tweets:

It means they were chumped for 2 years and wasted a portion of their lives for NOTHING. I feel for these people as they were victims of a cruel psyop. They're going to have to deal with it eventually though.

— johnnyk2000 (@johnnyk20001) February 9, 2022

Child suicides didn’t get them to lift COVID restrictions.

Bad poll numbers did.

The people who run this country are monsters.

— Jesse Kelly (@JesseKellyDC) February 9, 2022

We’re watching a preference cascade coming down the mountain like an avalanche, carrying Democrats before it.

And it’s glorious.

News of the Times;
I met a guy today who told me he's from Queens.

I told him my parents were normal.


Britain's Prime Minister Boris Johnson is getting a lot of pressure from his own party.

Mostly those who were not invited to his parties.


When my teenage son worked part time in a hardware store, a man came in to buy hooks for hanging plants. But there were only two hooks left in the gold color that he needed.

My son, trying to be helpful, suggested, "Could you maybe use the silver or the white instead? "

The customer scrutinized him and said, "You're not married, are you?"


Top 5 Signs your Governor is losing it:

Legally changing his name to "The Hallmark Channel".

Traded in state car for a commuter elephant.

Wants to scrap elections and go to Jell-O Wrestle Offs.

Proposing that masks be required on all Barbie dolls.

He's nominated himself as the state bird.


I think it best to stay away from Middle Eastern markets.

They are bazaar.

Quote of the Times;
I have never seen a monument erected to a pessimist. - Harvey

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Issue of the Times;
The Truth About What Biden Did To The 1st Black Woman Nominated To the Federal Court of Appeals Comes Out by Steven Ahle

I think it’s really sad that the Democrats have started to behave overtly in racist directions, no longer bothering to hide it. I thought they ended that kind of behavior.

Joe Biden has a long history, some say decades long, of making overtly racist comments, taking discriminatory positions, and siding up with known segregationists and racists. Now, he has resorted to making overt racist remarks and taking discriminatory positions, and siding with known racists but in a hundred and eighty degrees.

Biden has never been thought of as a very bright person. Throughout his political career he has always been a follower of the times, not a leader. He’s a chameleon who can fit in with any group by pretending to have the same beliefs. That’s how he thought he could get away with saying that he marched in the Civil Rights Era when he did not. He wanted the credibility of marching for civil rights when he did nothing to earn it. That’s allegedly because many elected members of Congress did march and support the civil rights movement and Biden didn’t want to feel left out, so he lied until he got caught.

His history of making racist remarks runs all the way through his 2020 campaign when he told black voters that if they didn’t understand why they should vote for him over Donald Trump, then they “ain’t black.” It was an incredibly insulting and racist thing to say. Later in the campaign, he insulted black people yet again by trying to build up his street creds when speaking to Latino voters by saying that, unlike people in the black community, the Latino community has very diverse ways of thinking. He also used racism against his 2020 opponent when he repeated the debunked Charlottesville lie that Trump said neo nazis and white nationalists were very fine people when Trump actually condemned both hate groups. Biden didn’t care because he had to pander to black voters and so he lied.

Last year, President Biden said that Latino Americans were resisting getting vaccinated because “they’re worried that they’ll be vaccinated and deported.” His words suggest that as President of the United States, Biden thinks most Latino Americans are here illegally. That’s a racist viewpoint.

BIDEN: “Latinx” people don’t want to get vaccinated because they’re worried they’ll be deported.

— (@townhallcom) June 24, 2021

President George W Bush in 2003 nominated Janice Rogers Brown, and associate justice on the California Supreme Court to serve as a federal judge on the US Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia. Justice Brown was the first black woman to be nominated for the federal bench.

For the Democrats, it’s all about a “first.” The first this, and the first that is what they hang their political hats on. They make a big deal out of it, except when it’s a Republican. For example, Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) was the first Hispanic to win a primary state during the 2016 Republican primary contest. You wouldn’t know it, because the mainstream media, racist against conservative minorities as they are, didn’t utter a peep about it. Republicans didn’t make a stink about it because they don’t pander to racial groups for votes. To them, we are all Americans.

And so, the Democrats in the US Senate simply could not allow the first black woman nominated for the federal bench to be confirmed if she was nominated by a Republican.

Remember, firsts was their thing!

Brown had a problem that weighed in on the Democrat racism of firsts. She was a conservative libertarian and rejected having to play ball with civil rights organizations that had become polarized by that time.

Brown once stepped on the Democrat’s third rail, if you will, when she said things about the unconstitutionality of Social Security, the Holy Grail of Democrat voting legacy programs. The judge should have hired a food taster at that point.

And when it came to a vote for the first black woman ever nominated to sit on the US Court of Appeals, Joe Biden, that great civil rights leader from the state of Delaware, filibustered against Brown’s nomination and voted against her twice. Maybe he was worried about a “racial jungle” on the Appeals Court?

Joe Biden had the opportunity to vote for a black woman and he refused. Now as president, Biden has said that the person he picks to replace the strong armed, er, retiring Justice Stephen Breyer on the US Supreme Court must be black and must be female so that he can get that first black woman thing going on his legacy. Let’s just hope his pick is qualified for the seat. I don’t care what she looks like, so long as she loves the Constitution.

News of the Times;
If it hurts when you pee.

Urine trouble.


65% of fathers refuse to allow their daughters to touch the thermostat.

This helps prepare them for marriage.


A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?" she asked.

"Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children."

"Is that a record?" she inquired.

"I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get."


When I was a kid I had a teacher named Mrs. Turtle.

She looked strange. But she tortoise well.


Never thought I'd see the day that Spotify would delete their Young.

Quote of the Times;
If the choice of whom to listen to in America is a curious, smart man who listens to myriad views to get to the truth, or a pair of fork-tongued, woke wastrels whose only currency is trashing the royal institution that gave them their titles to exploit for vast financial gain, give me the former anytime. - Piers Morgan

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Issue of the Times;
Hershey Fires Unvaccinated Employees by Beth Brelje

Offers payment to sign exiting agreement.

The Hershey Co. has begun firing office workers who have declined to be vaccinated against COVID-19.

On the way out the door, the candy manufacturer is asking the fired employees to sign a nine-page confidentiality and release agreement that would remove their rights to sue the company or talk about their experience.

While their signature comes with a “special separation payment,” many haven’t signed the agreement and won’t get the money. Employees say the payment was determined by an algorithm, and for some, amounted to just over two months’ pay.

By most accounts, working at Hershey was a great job. Employees at the company’s headquarters in Hershey, Pennsylvania, and at offices in other states report higher than average wages and bowls of candy placed around the offices for snacking. For holidays, employees would get a big bag of treats to take home, although that practice stopped after Easter 2021. There’s a sample room for trying new products, colorful graphics decorating the walls, and the products are more fun than selling insurance.

But it stopped being fun after months of human resources department meetings that employees say included education about the vaccines, asking if the employee had changed their mind about getting the shots, as well as uncomfortably invasive questions.

“I really thought I’d be OK,” Kim Durham, a former payment analyst and sourcing buyer, told The Epoch Times. “I thought, you cannot question my faith. Nobody can question that.”

Durham asked for a religious accommodation in August and assumed she would get it.

“I thought this was behind me until September, when I met with an HR representative. It was an interrogation on your religious beliefs. They twisted your words and tried to put words in your mouth. It was terrible.

“I was asked such personal questions that had nothing to do with religion.”

She was shocked when, in November, she received word that her request for religious accommodation had been denied.

The Epoch Times interviewed two other Hershey employees who are in their final days with the company and didn’t want their names used until they are fully separated, for fear of losing certain benefits.

All who were interviewed mentioned being troubled by similar questions during the meetings, usually held with an immediate supervisor and someone from HR, such as: Have you ever been vaccinated? Are your children vaccinated? How do you protect yourself when you leave your home? How often do you go to church? Do you take Tylenol, ibuprofen, Tums, or Midol? If so, how can you say that you’re truly a religious person, because a lot of those medicines also have the same ingredients as the vaccine?

Meanwhile, several people were told that the pope is vaccinated, and that he says the greatest gift you can give your community is to be vaccinated as well.

One new parent submitted their baby’s birth certificate and other papers to set up insurance coverage, and was asked why the baby had received vaccinations if the parent wouldn’t get the COVID shots.

“What does that have to do with me keeping a job? From the time we started this ordeal, we have had seven meetings about my vaccination status,” one employee said. “It was like harassment. I felt like I wanted to crawl under a rock when I was done.”

While office workers must be vaccinated or face dismissal, employees working in food production and Chocolate World, the company’s retail outlet stores, are encouraged but not required to get the vaccination.

Durham had been working from home since March 2020, except for once every two weeks when her tasks required her to be in the office. But even when she was there, it was just a skeleton crew of in-person coworkers, everyone had a temperature check before entering the building, and masking was mandatory.

Hershey required employees to be vaccinated by Oct. 4, 2021, and when she was still unvaccinated on Oct. 5, Durham was told she was no longer allowed in the building, but she continued working until January. Following her last day, the company sent an empty box to her home so she could ship her work equipment back to them.

“We are losing our jobs over this vaccine policy,” Durham said. “It’s just wrong that a company can terminate you, and you lose your livelihood. This should not be forced.”

Some employees trained their replacements, only to find their replacements would continue working remotely.

Hershey’s separation agreement prohibits those who sign it from disclosing the existence, terms, and conditions of the agreement, including the details of their separation from employment. The agreement contains a broad non-disparagement clause and also releases Hershey from liability for all legally waivable claims.

Hershey didn’t respond by press time to requests for comment or to provide information about how many people have been fired.

Employees estimate that 1,400 workers applied for a religious exemption. It’s unknown if any were granted.

“I know people who got the vaccine just to keep their job. It wasn’t something they wanted to do, but they needed the job,” Durham said. “I need a job too. But I’m not going to do something I don’t feel comfortable doing, just keeping my job.”

News of the Times;
Meatloaf never had a last name, but I wish he had gone with "Again."


Sales at McDonald's over the past year are up 13.8%.

According to my bathroom scale, so am I.


Man visits a dentist with broken teeth

Dentist: how did you manage to break these three teeth?

Man: my wife bakeda bread that was too hard.

Dentist: you could have refused to eat it

Man: that's exactly how this happened...


Seeing a homeless guy begging on the street, a woman took pity on him and gave him a handful of change.

“Thank you,” said the homeless man. “Your generosity is much appreciated. You know my life used to be great, but just look at the state of me now.”

“How do you mean?” asked the woman.

“Well,” he explained. “I was a multi-millionaire. I had bank accounts all over the world with hundreds of thousands of dollars deposited in each.”

“So where did it all go wrong?” she asked.

The homeless man sighed, “I forgot my mother’s maiden name.”


Where do boats go when they're sick?

The dock.

Quote of the Times;
A people who are not convinced of their uniqueness and value will perish. – Lane

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Issue of the Times;
Pittsburgh bridge's 2016 infrastructure funding reportedly diverted to bike lanes and green energy programs by Monica Showalter

Joe Biden and his Democrat allies wasted no time trying to make political hay out of a bridge collapse in Pittsburgh, a city Biden had just arrived in to discuss his infrastructure bill:

The collapse happened just hours before President Biden traveled to the area to speak at a previously scheduled event about the $1 trillion infrastructure bill he signed into law last year.

"We have been so far behind on infrastructure for so many years it's just mind-boggling," Mr. Biden told a group of elected officials and first responders during a visit to the collapse site. "...We used to be number one in the world."

Earlier, Mayor Ed Gainey told reporters the collapse highlights the need for the federal funding.

"With him coming today to talk about this infrastructure bill, to discuss why this funding is so important, today is significant," the mayor told reporters.

One problem: The bridge has already been to that infrastructure well earlier.

Here's a rather amazing tweet thread from a Pittsburgh local:

The bridge that just collapsed in the city of Pittsburgh was set to be restored in 2016. Instead of replacing the completely rusted out supports, they diverted the money to bike lanes, green energy programs and lanes for self driving cars.
— BLACK (@libertyismetal) January 29, 2022

Instead of repairing the bridge with what likely would have been the Obama-era shovel-ready 2009 infrastructure funds for "roads and bridges," known as the "American Recovery and Reinvestment Act," the cash went to bike lanes and green boondoggles, and too bad about the actual structure that was decaying and deteriorating. Transportation secretary Pete Buttigieg loves those bike lanes. Bridges that stay up? That is for someone else to take care of. And of course, no one did. For local leftwing politicians and federal cash shovelers, it was too attractive to build bike lanes and dedicated lanes, the better for Democrats to show off to all their little lefty friends.

Virtually every infrastructure bill has been like this. The Americans for Prosperity website has a history of these continuous infrastructure bills, all of which left a lot of decaying infrastructure and a lot of greenie gee-whiz idiocies:

In 1998, President Clinton and Congress worked together on a $217 billion transportation bill.

Who can forget President George W. Bush’s 2005 bill that included funding for the infamous Bridge to Nowhere.

President Obama’s 2009 “American Recovery and Reinvestment Act” had an $831 billion price tag.

The Trump Administration proposed or endorsed several costly infrastructure plans between 2015-2020.

If President Biden’s recent proposal gives you déjà vu, you’re not alone. His promises sound familiar to us, too.

We know that in California, legislators and executives enjoy lying about spending for infrastructure investment, too. Remember when they hoodwinked voters into approving a gas tax for infrastructure in 2019? Yep, same story, they didn’t bother with infrastructure such as roads and bridges. They set up greenie playthings instead and wasted the cash even as gas prices skyrocketed with all those added state taxes.

Now Biden is touting his 'infrastructure' spending, while Democrats have previously tried to sell us on the idea of daycare as infrastructure, education as infrastructure, and bike lanes as infrastructure. The only thing we can be sure of around such a bill as Biden's trillion dollar now-passed infrastructure bill, as well as his presumably dead "Build Back Better" bill that he still wants to get through, is that the cash won't go toward infrastructure that matters. It will go to Democrat pet projects and wasteful boondoggles.

Voters have seen this show before, so one hopes that the Pittsburgh people Biden was addressing and everyone else give it the back of their hands.

News of the Times;
Has North Korea become that annoying neighbor that just randomly shoots off fireworks?


Now there's talk of Hillary Clinton running for president again in 2024.

If this keeps up, can a Pauley Shore comeback be far behind?


The British Royal Navy and Lockheed Martin announced they have prepared a giant bowl of rice to repair the crashed F-35 that was recently recovered from the seafloor. Lockheed Martin said the plane would remain in the rice “overnight, maybe a couple days” in hopes of drying out the aircraft’s sensitive electronics.

“I tried it with my iPhone, and it totally worked,” Adm. Sir Ben Key, First Lord of the Admiralty, told reporters.


There was a young man

From Cork who got Limericks

And Haikus confused


Experts are now saying you should only wear your N95 masks five times before tossing them.

Considering their cost, I'm sticking with that 95 number.

Quote of the Times;
Having lost in Afghanistan, the graveyard of empires, the regime’s next military adventure seems to be invading Russia in winter. – MacIntyre

Link of the Times;

Issue of the Times;
How American Parents Turn Their Daughters Out by Peachy Keenan

It was the dreaded Moms’ Night Out at my son’s exorbitantly expensive Montessori preschool.

There were a few aged rock stars and insufferable list B-actors with children at this school, but that wasn’t going to stop me from providing my firstborn with excellence in developmental education that mainly seemed to involve depositing smooth pebbles into various bowls using hand-hewn stone implements.

We were just digging into pizza and our third bottle of Chianti when a stylish, glossy-haired mother of two started talking about her daughter, who was three. In a voice filled with breathless anticipation, she described her plans for when her baby would enter the sexual marketplace. “I just want her to know she can tell me anything. As soon as she gets her period, I’m totally taking her to get on the pill. I just want us to be close.”

She turned to me. “Have you thought about when you’ll put your daughter on the pill?” My daughter was one at the time.

There aren’t a lot of street pimps in the suburbs of America. We don’t need them: we have affluent white female liberals, or “AWFLs,” as the Internet calls them. The expression “to turn out” comes from prison and street hooker culture. Pimps “turn out” girls; turn them into prostitutes and offer them up to customers. Getting “turned out” is what these bad boyfriends do to impressionable young girls.

I only learned these terms from the blistering streetwalker documentaries HBO used to run in early 2000s, before they discovered Prestige Rape Drama. But the term fits exactly what middle- and upper-middle class families are doing to their daughters. They don’t actually want them to grow up into hookers, but the end results are sort of the same.

And as the old joke goes, at least the women in the Lucite pleasers and hot pants are getting paid for it.

Ghost In The Dating Machine

In January, former presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren tweeted this to young female voters:

You deserve better. Dump the guy who ghosted you, convince the roommate to let you adopt a dog, and I’ll take care of canceling your student loan debt!

— Elizabeth Warren (@ewarren) January 9, 2020

Whew, there’s a lot of powwow chow to munch on here. Let’s start with the fact that apparently there are so many women getting “ghosted” (abandoned by men after brief romantic encounters) that they now constitute a demographic cohort big enough to be a presidential voting bloc.

Which is surprising, because for the last twenty years or so, American girls have been raised from birth to be premium dating fodder, primed from the first whiff of puberty to be Available for Sex on Saturday Night. So why are they being ghosted in droves? Abandoned and left to die alone, clutching their pets and Warren for President signs?

You’d think these girls would be experts at snagging a mate. Years of sex ed, birth control pills, and permission to date early and often with no judgement from the grownups should have guaranteed they’d have suitors dangling from their every finger, lines outside the door, dates every night, so many engagement rings shoved under their noses they’d be blinded by the shimmering sight of all those diamonds nestled against black velvet.

What happened?

Parenting: The New Sex Trafficking

Munchausen by proxy is a mental illness in which the mother (it’s almost always the mother) injures or sickens her own child on purpose for attention and sympathy. Grooming is a crime in which an adult nurtures a child over a long period of time to be open to receiving sexual advances.

American parenting is starting to resemble a terrifying combination of both.

How else to explain why girls are being turned out—groomed for extreme antisocial sexual behavior from a young age—not by pimps, but by their parents and teachers?

When it comes to sex ed, I believe in the screenwriting theory known as Chekhov’s gun: if you show a gun in the first act, it must be fired by the third. If you show kids the sex toys (and worse) in the first grade, the sex toys will be used by high school.

Recently, NPR published “What Your Teen Wishes You Knew About Sex Education.” In the article, we meet Electra McGrath-Skrzydlewski, who made a point of telling her fourth-grade daughter Lily, well, everything. “She was very open from the get-go, even before those were things that I needed to know about,” her daughter recounts.

Lily came out as pansexual at age 12.

At an institutional level, we are creating a cursed generation of females expert at every imaginable permutation of sex with an infinite number of partners, while largely shunning the other thing, the main thing, the only thing still emitting any heat in the cold, merciless hearth of contemporary life: the dream of forming a family.

Because the shocking truth is: No one wants to wife a sex expert.

You Can’t Kiss the Bride, She’s Been Groomed

One reason American parents—mothers mainly—are rushing their daughters onto the Pill or LARC implants (long-acting reversible contraceptives) is to make sure their offspring are not punished with babies in high school. “I can’t possibly stop her from doing what comes naturally, but I can temporarily sterilize her.”

The schools do their part by forcing children into mandatory early sex education classes that often include graphic illustrations of sexual positions and expose even kindergarteners to the infinite array of gender variants and sexual orientations newly discovered in the human genome.

Condom demonstrations on bananas? That’s so 1999.

High school sophomores now know how to prepare each other’s rectums for “safe anal play,” which is pitched as a zesty, natural activity for all genders. In 2019, California approved a terrifying, dystopian new statewide curriculum that includes a seventh-grade lesson that “identified sexual activities such as bathing together and mutual masturbation as safe options to avoid sexually transmitted diseases.”

Whew! I don’t know about you, but I’m always relieved when I finish preparing some organic, gluten free, plant-based after-school snacks and discover my sixth-grade daughter in the bath with her classmates! Because, you know, it’s much harder to transmit chlamydia in water than through intercourse. Bless you, Governor Newsom!

When it comes to sex ed, I live by a very simple rule: if an adult who is not our pediatrician tries to talk to my child about their genitals, this person’s kneecaps should expect to meet my crowbar. Normal adults do not wish to talk about children’s genitals or discuss children having sex with children in front of other children.

It’s actually not the kiddie porn-adjacent sex ed lessons that bother me the most—instead, it’s the constant, ad nauseam emphasis on dating and relationships. Among middle schoolers!
Another story about the California curriculum included this: “An eighth-grade lesson on sexual orientation described hypothetical dating scenarios of teenagers. It gave an example of a ‘ninth grade guy’ who has been attracted to and made out only with girls, but who fell in love with another guy and is in a relationship with him. The couple also date other people, but are both dating only guys.”

Hang on: are 13- and 14-year-olds even supposed to be in relationships? With multiple people and genders? Aren’t relationships reserved for grownups—or at least much older teenagers? If my middle-schooler tried to talk to me about his or her “relationship” with some other pubescent dork, I’d laugh, ground them, and take away their Nintendo Switch. Haha, looks like you’re single now, kid!

Why do AWFLS want their daughters to start dating so early? As anyone who has been involuntarily single can confirm, dating almost always totally sucks. Why do PARENTS (!) want to extend their child’s miserable dating window longer and longer, younger and younger? How many years of soul-destroying “dating” are they willing to subject their kid to? Ten years? Twenty? A lifetime of unfulfilled longing?

Shouldn’t parents be guiding children to make their dating windows as short as possible? Imagine if your entire dating history consisted of one date! It would be like pitching the perfect game in baseball. We met, went on one date, and that was it.

It all reminds me of the moment when Charlotte from Sex and the City, the ancient Ur text of eternal white female concubinage, cries out plaintively “I’ve been dating since I was fifteen! I’m exhausted! Where is he already?”

Poor Charlotte. She tried to warn you, you AWFL women!

Schoolhouse to Traphouse

This is not all theoreticals and jokes. I wrote recently about the tragic trajectory of Steven Spielberg’s daughter Mikaela, who despite (or because of) her wealth and privilege, has apparently chosen a career as a “sex worker” because, you know, empowering!

Her story hits a little close to home for me. Years ago, some family friends—an upper-middle-class white couple—adopted two (unrelated) mixed-race girls. One grew into a slim, silent, long-legged beauty. The other was kind and chubby and fun.

The pretty one, let’s call her Maya, had modeling photos taken before she was ten. She would appear at various events in minidresses, platform heels, and Kardashian-style camera-ready makeup. “Every girl in her class is doing it,” her mother would say when people asked.

By sixth grade, boys were sneaking into her house at night through the window.

By ninth grade, Maya was in weekly “relationship therapy” with her white, acne-infested boyfriend, who was 19. Other adult’s opinions on the situation were not welcome, it was made clear.

More pathologies and dysfunctions followed, including years of unsuccessful drug rehab, boot camps, and so forth. Eventually, arrests and disappearances.

But no judgment, because judgment is harmful.

Teenage Wasteland

But Peachy! Teens today are having less sex! Fewer babies! Fewer abortions! Zoomers are way more tame than you drunken, debauched Gen-Xers!

There is some truth to that, but according to the Guttmacher Institute, “in 2017, some 57% of twelfth-graders had ever had intercourse, compared with 20% of ninth-graders.” In other words, it’s still basically the norm.

And: “35% of sexually active female students were using a prescription birth control method. Between 2015 and 2017, the proportion of females in twelfth grade who reported using a prescription method at last intercourse rose from 36% to 45%.”

But Peachy, teenage girls have been taking the Pill since they were getting wasted at Jake Ryan’s house! Yes, also true. Only these days the Pill and the other long-term B.C. prescriptions are being paired with an intense culture of early sexualization at home and school, without the early socialization necessary to create future mothers and fathers.

Imagine being groomed from the age of five for a diverse, robust sex life with as many partners as there are stars in the sky…without an endgame in sight.

Whither Boys?

All of which leads us to a terrible existential crisis. Let’s say you have a nice son in his twenties. He gets engaged! Despite all odds, he found the rare intact female with working reproductive organs! She even uses the quaint pronouns “she/her.” O happy day!

Now: Would you prefer that your future daughter-in-law possess encyclopedic knowledge of cutting-edge birth control methods and exotic polyamorous Twister-sex configurations, or no? Would it bother you to know she can describe in detail the pattern on the ceiling of the Burning Man Orgy Tent? Bluntly, how many sexual partners would you like your son’s fiancée to have had? Is there a number you would find alarmingly high?

The number I would prefer is one, and my son would be the only name on the list, and it would be written in indelible forever ink on her heart.

Shouldn’t this be our goal as parents, to help them achieve this type of ideal end state?

But maybe you’re an AWFL and would not mind one little bit if your son’s fiancée showed up for her first Hometown Date at your house bearing a lovely bouquet of flowers, a few virulent STDs, arms covered in patches and scars from years of hormonal implants, plus a multi-decade history of heartbreak and tragicomic dating disasters.

If that’s the case, 2020 is the timeline you will enjoy most.

Drag Queen Story Hour—And Beyond!

Forget drag queens reading gender-queer fairy tales to boys in Elsa gowns and their confused, giggly mothers. That’s so 2019.
A public library in Maryland hosted a “lesbian pole dancer’s teens-only sex ed class for 12- to 17-year-olds” this month. “Teens have questions about sexual health, whether its [sic] birth control, lubricants, STI testing, LGBTQ relationships, or something else completely. This will be an informal workshop where your teen can ask ANY sexual health question you want and get an honest answer.”

What happens when the 12-year-olds know more about sex than the most syphilitic Parisian madames of the 18th century? Does this ensure they will marry young and well, and be good and loving parents?

Or is it more likely that this blasted knowledge guarantees a tedious multi-decade Bataan death march through dating apps, therapists, anti-depressants, polyamorous cul-de-sacs, and (eventually) to a spiritual and biological dead end?

Theory: some parents turn out their kids to impress their friends.

“I’m so cool and laid-back that I’m totally fine with Brooklynn having Atticus sleep over and share a bed. Yes they’re 12, but they’re in love. Their school had a class about relationships and dating and they know all about protection methods and safe anal play. It’s cool, and mostly I really don’t want them to laugh at me and call me ‘Boomer’ again or tell the richer, even hipper parents at our school that I suggested sleeping in the twin bunk bed.”

Birth Control: The Most Dangerous Gateway Drug

Fentanyl and heroin are super bad for you, but the good news is, they’ll kill you right away. Birth control may only cause functional brain damage and depression, requiring a lifetime of other medical interventions.

A new study may force AWFLs to reconsider their daughter’s hormonal intake. “Researchers studying the brain found that women taking oral contraceptives, commonly known as birth control pills, had significantly smaller hypothalamus volume, compared to women not taking the pill, according to a new study presented today at the annual meeting of the Radiological Society of North America (RSNA).”

“Other findings from the study… were that smaller hypothalamic volume was also associated with greater anger and showed a strong correlation with depressive symptoms.”

Not enough proof? Last October JAMA published a shocking study that Vice magazine described this way:

Compared to girls who weren’t and/or had never taken contraceptive pills, 16-year-olds who take birth control cried more, had more eating problems, and exhibited excessive sleepiness (common symptoms of adolescent depression)….the tie between birth control pills and depressive symptoms remained significant. This finding substantiates previous research that’s shown that teenagers who take birth control pills are more likely to take psychiatric drugs later.

Get ready to cry more, Los Angeles teenagers! Pills and tears and then more pills to stop all those tears are coming to a school near you! “Dozens of Los Angeles high schools will soon host clinics providing sexual and mental health services for teenagers as part of a wellness [sic] program that officials say is a groundbreaking model of comprehensive on-campus care.”

Funny how grooming is now being paired at the institutional level with mental health interventions. Almost as if there is a causal link between early promiscuity and mental problems! Could being exposed to disease, pregnancy, premature relationships, heartbreak, and shame be bad for kids? Rates of depression and prescriptions of anti-anxiety and anti-depression drugs are all skyrocketing among young people.

Why would you ever start your child down this path? I’m hardly anti-medicine, but it certainly seems true that once you get into prescription drugs (you know, for health!), it’s a lot easier to stay on than get off.

So stop squirming and keep still, kid—inserting this DepoProvera implant under your skin will only hurt for a second, but will depress you for years to come.


You don’t need to be a Freudian to deduce that much of this grooming by parents and school adults is a twisted form of vicarious wish fulfillment. If your mom didn’t get the hot guy at school to take her to the prom, you’re at much higher risk of frequent DryBar and bikini waxing appointments, shopping sprees at PINK, and visits to friendly gynecologists by the time of your first period.

One thing parent pimps always forget is that the bright fantasy in their hearts, the one where their beautiful, nubile daughter is swept off her feet by Chad the Prom King and ravished on a glorious rose petal strewn bed hung with gauzy curtains, doesn’t exist. It’s a scene you saw in a movie once on a plane.

Exactly zero teenage boys are prepared to fill the leading man role you have written for him.

You’re not preparing Cinderella for the ball, parents. Instead, you’re grooming Cinderella for an endless supply of awkward sex, long after the carriage has turned back into a pumpkin and begun to putrefy.

Few college boys, even, are mentally prepared for long-term relationships. Which means that your daughter is potentially being set up for years of repeated heartbreak. Like mortgages, high blood pressure, and hair loss, “bad break ups” are not things children should have to deal with. Why are we exposing them to a single drop of unnecessary emotional pain?

Maya is now in her late twenties, alive but lost, devoured by drugs and the attendant lifestyle. A few weeks ago her older sister, who remains chubby and fun and kind, legally adopted the young son Maya abandoned.

Ho No!

What is to be done? How can we stop this madness?

Have the answers I do not.

But there are, perhaps, a few things you can do to save yourself. Start by trying to immunize the children in your life the best you can before they are infected with our sexually available, emotionally stunted culture.

It helps if you can avoid most public schools. At parochial schools, while many do not actually adhere to religious doctrine, at least there will be uniforms and you will be a bit further from the grip of rapacious “health consultants” who wish to fill your daughter’s Frozen backpack with dildos and sample tubes of anal lube and pamphlets on sterilization.

And maybe give your child real and positive reasons to avoid sexual activity with the other, even more disgusting pubescents in their class. Help them cherish, even fantasize about, the idea of a future family and their own children.

Raise mothers, not dog moms.

Raise women, not wine aunts.

Raise ladies, not cat ladies.

If you won’t do it for your girls, then please, for the love of God, do it for the boys! For they seek and do not find!

Care for an ominous peek into our future hellscape? CNN Business published a recent study that said “by 2030, 45% of working women aged 25 to 44 in the United States will be single, the largest share in history.”

Mission accomplished, America!

Girls gave up the engagement ring for the NuvaRing. If this continues unchecked, a generation of young women will ghost the Earth, leaving nothing behind but the felines.

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