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Bloody cops.

Caught me running through town with a bag of money today.

Where were they 10 minutes earlier when someone was nicking my getaway car?


Wife: Wanna fool around tonight?

Me: I haven’t shaved, I'm really gassy and my hemorrhoids are killing me.

Wife: You could have just said “no.”

Me [already naked]: WHY WOULD I SAY NO?


Survivors of Icelandair Flight 198, which crashed somewhere deep in the Arctic tundra last week, lauded vegan survivor Michael Hagen’s unwillingness to sacrifice his principles, even in the face of certain death.

“Once we ran out of food from the plane, we crafted makeshift hunting and fishing tools, but unfortunately for Michael, there’s not much in the way of edible vegetation here and none of us have any real farming experience. We’ve subsisted mostly on native fish and rabbits we’ve managed to catch,” reported survivor Christine Conway, fishing with a handmade spear. “There’s almost no vegetation here, but he insists that he’s ‘fine’ with the little bit of grass he found under the snow. I keep begging him to make an exception until we’re rescued, and he just keeps telling us that eating meat is the number one cause of heart disease. I respect his conviction, but it’s just a matter of time before he succumbs to starvation.”

Despite pleas from other vegan and vegetarian survivors, who briefly suspended their own beliefs, Hagen dismissed their concerns and questioned their commitment to animal rights.

“Hypocrites, the whole lot of them,” a severely emaciated Hagen said, struggling to summon the strength to speak. “They’re probably just ‘fitness vegans’ anyway and don’t actually care about animals. Sure, the pains and frequent diarrhea are bothersome, but thanks to the hallucinations, I’m usually able to tune those out. In fact, one of the pigs those savages murdered just told me the other day to stay the course, and nature will eventually provide for me.”

While medical and survival experts questioned Hagen’s logic, he did receive praise from animal right’s organizations, including People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals [PETA].

“By allowing himself to slowly waste away, Mr. Hagen is admirably helping sustain the native animal population and reduce the ecological damage done by the plane crash,” stated PETA Head, Ingrid Newkirk. “Even in a situation where there is no way to survive by sustaining a vegan lifestyle, it is despicable that the other survivors have chosen to put their own needs ahead of those of our animal brethren. PETA is working to ensure that survivors receive vegan-friendly meals as soon as humanly possible.”


I was really excited after losing my virginity.

"But what do we do now?" I asked. "Kiss? Cuddle?"

"No, you fuck off back to your bunk," said my cellmate.


Apple are releasing their most dangerous gadget yet.

The device does what it wants, causes problems all around, and makes Americans shit themselves.

It's called iRan.

Quote of the Times;
Men cannot be made happy against their will. – Mises

Link of the Times;

Issue of the Times;
Tucker Carlson Zeroes in on the Left's 'Biggest Fear' by Leah Barkoukis

During his opening monologue on Thursday, Fox News’s Tucker Carlson excoriated the ongoing military occupation of Washington, D.C. and explained why it's still there and what has liberals so fearful.

While the left is admittedly scared of pretty much everything, he acknowledged, fear of "the other" has them most wound up now.

"When you're a liberal, the world is a very scary place, but there is one fear that rises above all other fears in the liberal mind: The fear of "the other." Like all primitive cultures, modern liberalism is tribal," he said. "Liberals understand most of the American continent as a mysterious dark space, like a medieval map populated by drooling Trump voters and violent illiterates with extra chromosomes.

"Liberals despise people like this, of course, and on some level, they know they're hated right back," he continued. "They worry that someday there will be a backlash against the people in charge, which, of course, is them. That's their biggest fear, a peasant revolt."

And so, D.C. looks like Baghdad's Green Zone, he said.

The left and right were fully prepared for another "insurrection" on March 4, but like a child fearful of the monster in the closet, the threat wasn't real.

"A lot of liberals were certain that March 4 was the day the right-wing revolution would finally begin. March 4, they believed, with something called 'QAnon Inauguration Day,'" he said, adding that they have no idea what that means and can guarantee the vast majority of Trump supporters don't either.

"They'd heard about it from Nancy Pelosi, who told her bodyguards to write up a report on the threat of QAnon Inauguration Day. So that's what they did. We never really learned any details, but members of Congress were not taking chances," Carlson continued. "Many of them fled the Capitol Thursday. House leaders rescheduled votes so that the rank-and-file legislators could escape with their lives, if not with their dignity."

What happened was predictable: nothing. More media showed up than anyone else.

This "credible threat" was just the latest in a series of lies to keep D.C. militarized, he argued, because the National Guard is there for political reasons more than anything else.

"This is very strange behavior for a democracy," Carlson pointed out. "In a democracy, leaders are supposed to rule with the consent of the governed. You would think that might have occurred to some people on Capitol Hill. If we're this afraid of American voters, maybe something's wrong. Maybe we're not doing a very good job. Maybe we ought to shut up for a second and listen to the complaints of the people whose lives we control. Maybe then we wouldn't need razor wire around the Capitol.

"Apparently, no one in Washington has thought of this," he added. "Instead, they've convinced themselves that the only Americans who have a problem with the way things are currently going must have been brainwashed by QAnon."

Meanwhile, as the left prepares itself for battle against imaginary threats, Americans are facing real ones on the streets.

"For all the concern over the safety of our elected leaders, there doesn't seem to be any concern for the safety of the people who elected them," he said. "Capitol Hill looks like the Green Zone in Baghdad, but the rest of the city looks like the area outside the Green Zone. Residential neighborhoods in Washington and in cities around the country haven't been this dangerous in years. Americans are dying in huge numbers from street crime, but no one in Congress cares. They're too busy spending tax dollars to shield themselves from the QAnon Shaman and his 70-year-old accomplices."

Maybe Democratic leaders will start caring if Americans blame QAnon for the crimes, he quipped.

News of the Times;

“Alexa, why do I do so terribly with women?”

“My name is Siri.”


Man: Judge, I want to contest 80% of my parking tickets.

Judge: Repeat infractions?

Man: Ok. I want to contest 4/5 of my parking tickets.



Apparently it's rude to poke someone in the forehead and say "Skip Intro" when they start talking to you.

I set my clock ahead to prevent being late, but all it did was sharpen my subtraction skills.

I need a new friend, the last one escaped.

I just fired myself from cleaning my house; didn't like my attitude and I got caught drinking on the job.

If you have to wear masks and glasses, you may be entitled to condensation.

Water is heavier than butane because butane is a lighter fluid.

I'm reading a book called "Quick money for Dummies" by Robin Banks.

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

I never finish anything and have a black belt in partial arts.

It's only Quarantine if it's from the Quarantee region of France, otherwise, it's just sparkling isolation.

I made a huge to-do list for today, now I just need to figure out who's going to do it all.

Beer is like the sun; it rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.

How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.

It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full, there's clearly room for more wine!


World's most dangerous jobs 2021:

- Security contractor, Afghanistan

- Miner, China

- Gamekeeper, Republic of Congo

- Harry & Meghan's chauffeur, California


Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.

They are definitely plotting something.

Quote of the Times;
All silencing of discussion is an assumption of infallibility – Mill

Link of the Times;

Issue of the Times;
The Latest In Official "Antiracist" Ideology: Black Kids Are Too Stupid To Learn Math by Francis Menton

It’s been obvious for a while now to anyone paying attention that the currently hot progressive policy agenda going by the name “antiracism” is actually itself racism, and a particularly virulent and insidious species of racism at that. The use of the term “antiracism” reflects Orwellian abuse of language taken to a whole new extreme.

As the “antiracism” cause took over public discourse during the last couple of years, I have offered several comments, for example here
and here In the first of those posts, from April 6, 2019, I noted that the “antiracism” agenda evidenced:

the utter contempt in which the self-anointed elites of our country hold members of minority groups, most particularly African Americans. Somehow, these elites — or at least some very substantial number of them — have decided that African Americans are not capable of accepting personal responsibility in life or of being treated like adults.

And it’s not just African American adults. This post from August 2020, based on research from Thomas Sowell, considered the current progressive campaign against discipline in K-12 schools, by which children from minority groups are increasingly given a free pass for disruptive classroom behavior. My comment:

The question is whether there is an expectation that minority students are capable of becoming responsible adults, and whether their education reflects such an expectation, versus an expectation that they are on track become sub-adults in a lifetime of permanent dependency.

And just when you thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse, we now have something called the “Pathway to Equitable Math Instruction,” just issued by some huge collection of West Coast “educators.” The list of collaborating entities that issued this document starts with the Association of California School Administrators, and then the California Math Project, the California Partnership for Math and Science Education, and on and on for dozens more such. Oh, and with the “generous financial support” of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.

You mean that up to now you had not realized that math instruction was “racist”? After all, doesn’t 2 + 2 = 4 whatever your race or ethnicity might be? If you think that, then you just don’t understand the current progressive obsession with race as pervading everything. And to fix the racism in math, the clear solution proposed by these activists is of course “antiracism.” In this case, “antiracism” means precisely the very most vile sort of racism, namely treating the black and other minority kids like dopes and refusing to require them to learn the material or hold them to any standards.

Of course, the perpetrators of this document never make their point in quite those words; but still it comes through very clearly. The document is divided into five main parts, called “Strides.” The first “Stride” has the title “Dismantling Racism in Mathematics Instruction.” I’ll give you a few choice quotes from that one. This “Stride” proceeds month by month through the school year, starting before the school year begins in September. The task for that time of year is to set “expectations” — and the important point is that there are to be no expectations for the minority students. Indeed, to set expectations and expect minority students to meet them is classic “white supremacy.” From page 12:

What are my expectations for the year? . . . White supremacy culture shows up in math classrooms when. . . Expectations are not met.

This is a classic example of either/or thinking. If parents don’t show the characteristics of what I think a good parent is, then that parent is bad. If students don’t show the characteristics of what I think is a good student, then that student is bad. This thinking creates meritocracy in the classroom: Students have to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, and if they fail it is their fault. It does not give room for the systemic reasons students fail, which often lie in problematic expectations.

Well, we certainly must not have any of that “meritocracy” thing. By February in the school year, it’s time to figure out if the students have learned anything. How about the idea of giving math tests consisting of problems having right and wrong answers, and issuing grades based on the results? Obviously, that is also “white supremacy.” From page 51:

White supremacy culture shows up in math classrooms when. . . Grading practices are focused on lack of knowledge.

Grades are traditionally indicative of what students can’t do rather than what they can do, reinforcing perfectionism. In addition, math teachers also focus grades on what is more easily measurable, rather than the knowledge that we want students to have, reinforcing quantity over quality and often evaluating procedural or skills-based knowledge rather than conceptual knowledge.

What is truly remarkable is the incomprehensible word salad that they are able to spew forth in the effort to obscure the obvious fact that what they are saying is that minority kids must be given a pass if they fail to learn the material.

Well, how about asking the kids to “show their work”? In my day, that was how the teachers tried to figure out if a kid was progressing versus, for example, making a lucky guess of the right answer or, maybe, copying from the kid sitting next to her. Well, asking kids to show work has now become yet another example of the dreaded “white supremacy.” From page 54:

White supremacy culture shows up in math classrooms when. . . Students are required to “show their work” in only one way.

Math teachers ask students to show work so that teachers know what students are thinking, but that can center the teacher’s need to understand rather than student learning. Teachers should seek to understand individual student perspectives and focus on students showing their work in ways that help students learn how to process information.

The document goes on and on (and on and on and on) from there. But you get the gist.

Have the vile racist “antiracists” finally gone a step too far with this one? At least a few iconoclasts seem to be catching on. Columbia professor John McWhorter has a post at Substack on February 28, titled “Is it racist to expect black kids to do math for real?”, that fairly captures the gist:

There is a document getting around called Dismantling Racism in Mathematics Instruction, a guide put together by a group of educators. It has a black boy on the cover. . . . [T]his is in essence a document that could be called “Math For Black Kids.” . . . [T]his lovely pamphlet is teaching us that it is racist to expect black kids to master the precision of math. To wit – its message, penned by people who consider themselves some of the most morally advanced souls in the history of the human species, is one that Strom Thurmond would have happily taken a swig of whiskey to.

As another push back against this nonsense, we have Bari Weiss on March 1, also at Substack, publishing a piece by Princeton math professor Sergiu Klainerman with the title “There Is No Such Thing as ‘White’ Math.” Key quote (it’s the concluding paragraph):

There is no such thing as “white” mathematics. There is no reason to assume, as the activists do, that minority kids are not capable of mathematics or of finding the “right answers.” And there can be no justification for, in the name of “equity” or anything else, depriving students of the rigorous education that they need to succeed. The real antiracists will stand up and oppose this nonsense.

It will take a lot more than just these few to push back successfully against the juggernaut of “antiracism.” But at least it’s a start.

News of the Times;
How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they all use gas lighting.


According to a recent survey, 'doggy style' is the most popular sexual position in Wales.

They're not sexually adventurous, they're just working their way through the animal kingdom.


It’s the year 2030.

Tinder girl: “I don’t normally do this.”

Phone dings.

“Independent fact checkers have ruled that you normally do this.”


Millennial Jamie Thorpe suffered a retail-induced panic attack yesterday after hearing several beloved bands from her youth as background music at a Target department store, according to her medical team.

“I needed to get the hell away from my family for 45 minutes and it turned into the worst decision of my life, I was thumbing through the book section when suddenly I heard Spoon through the store’s speakers. I thought it was fluke, but later I heard Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Fiest, and Tapes ‘n Tapes. This music was the sound of hipster culture 20 years ago; now, it’s the soundtrack to me picking out a paisley duvet cover,” said Thorpe while recovering in her home. “Is this my life now? I mean, my college boyfriend and I used to get stoned and fuvk to this music; now I’m humming along to it while picking out school supplies for my kids. It’s just not right.”

Target’s music licensing director Ellice MacLeod explained the store’s music picks were no accident.

“Our key demographic more or less came of age in the late ‘90s and early 2000s, so we basically used the Wayback Machine to browse Pitchfork reviews from 2005 and loaded up the Muzak station with old, indie blog rock,” said MacLeod. “Any songs that remind shoppers of being young, as well as help them momentarily forget about their bodies slowly decaying, is really good for our bottom line. Research shows people suffering existential crises buy very few home goods.”

Although sympathetic, Gen X-er T.J. Rich stated Millennials should “get used to it.”

“It took some time, but I’ve become OK with seeing grunge and alt-rock co-opted by corporate America. Do you think I love hearing Pearl Jam songs in commercials for ED medications? Hell no,” said Rich while touching up the paint job on his boat. “I’m at the point now where I see a kid in a Nirvana shirt and I think to myself, ‘Kurt Cobain probably made the right choice.’”

Her caregivers say Thorpe has now accepted her fate, and is looking forward to entering the “posting ‘they don’t make music like this anymore’ comments on YouTube videos” phase of her life.


I think my wife has been putting superglue on my water gun collection.

She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns.

Quote of the Times;
"The real truth of the matter is, as you and I know, that a financial element in the large centers has owned the government of the U.S. since the days of Andrew Jackson." - U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt in a letter written Nov. 21, 1933 to Colonel E. Mandell House.

Link of the Times;

Issue of the Times;
Systemic, Institutional Rot: From the Big Freeze In Texas To Fires In California by Ilana Mercer

Some blame a quasi-free electricity market for the collapse of the electrical grid in Texas, during a mid-February snowstorm with temperatures averaging zero. Those same people finger deregulation and isolation from the national and neighboring grids.

The other side argues that an excessive reliance on renewable energy sources, such as wind turbines, was the culprit in a grid collapse that saw 40 percent of the power supply fail within hours of the storm, indirectly causing the deaths of about 60 Texans.

All agree that the oil-and-gas state enjoys both cheap natural gas and abundant wind power, and that its natural resources could have stood Texas in good stead.

The Lone Star State’s human resources are another matter entirely.

Whether wind turbines or gas pipelines, the electrical grid has to be properly maintained. Texas, however, lacked “leadership.” The grid had not been weatherized nor winterized in anticipation of a harsh winter—pipelines had not been insulated and wind turbines never deiced.

Leadership is a euphemism for intelligence. Texas in the winter of 2021 will likely be looked upon as a case of systemic stupidity; systemic rot.

Things start to fall apart when the best-person-for-the-job ethos gives way to racial and gender window-dressing and to the enforcement of politically pleasing perspectives.

Likewise has the emergency personnel managing the blackouts for the nation’s largest utility, Pacific Gas and Electric Company, joined California’s political leadership to deliver Third World-quality service to Californians.

When the Associated Press reports, “Among the hundreds of people who handled the blackouts from Pacific Gas and Electric Company’s emergency operations center, only a handful had any training in the disaster response playbook that California has used for a generation,” that is a fancy way of saying “affirmative action.”

It doesn’t help that the American idiocracy is moving at breakneck speed to equate merit-based institutions with “institutionalized racism.”

Or, think about it like this: When merit-based hiring is deemed racist, bridges fall down. Literally.

Recall the deadly collapse of a pedestrian bridge in 2018 at Florida International University in Sweetwater, Florida. Engineers from the FIGG Bridge Group got the mathematics wrong and, oddly, they seemed to have no feel for the properties of cement. As a result, their bridge collapsed, killing six people and injuring 10 others. Something was terribly wrong with those engineers. Rumors were rife. Was it a designer, female-only outfit? Nobody would come clean.

In any event, when spanking-new bridges collapse, trains on maiden trips derail (as Amtrak trains did in Washington state in 2015 and 2018), Navy ships collide (the USS John S. McCain and USS Fitzgerald in 2017) and law enforcement failure and bad faith become endemic, a picture emerges of a sprawling country in which the best-person-for-the-job ethos has given way to racial and gender window-dressing.

The latest exhibit in America’s set-aside and quota fiasco is the Capitol Police. The force received the memo about the unruly protest planned for January 6, but was deaf, dumb, and blind as to how to process the information. I’ve lost count of the security breaches in the White House’s formidably protected perimeter. Memorable is an event from 2014, when Secret Service Director Julia Pierson oversaw an incident in which one female Secret Service agent was easily overpowered and another lass didn’t bother to lock the White House front door.

The reality into which America’s deformed social reformers have thrust us is better understood by reading the cautionary tale of South Africa, through the prism of Into the Cannibal’s Pot: Lessons For America From Post-Apartheid South Africa. American reformers were, incidentally, destructively instrumental there too:

“If American institutions continue to subordinate their raison d’être to politically dictated egalitarianism, reclaiming them from the deforming clutches of affirmative action will become harder and harder,” I warned.

South Africa’s gutted institutions were meant to serve as a harbinger of things to come in the United States. In the 10 years since the book’s publication, evidence abounds that societal institutions—state and civil—have been similarly hollowed out like husks.

Like Texas, the South African grid groans under the weight of affirmative action:

[South Africa’s] electrical grid has been degraded at every level: generation, transmission, and distribution. Since distribution is now entrusted to the local, increasingly inept, authorities, candles and paraffin lamps have made a come-back in my home town of Cape Town as well as in other cities. Daily power outages affect industries and services across the country. Rolling blackouts—‘load shedding’ is the local euphemism—are now as typical of Cape Town’s landscape as the tablecloth of clouds that cascades over the majestic Table Mountain.


I’ve lived through Highveld thunderstorms and Cape, South-Easter, gale-force winds. Few and far between were the blackouts. … No, Eskom, the utility that supplied most of the electricity consumed on the African continent, did not run out of juice. It just ran out of experienced, skilled engineers, expunged pursuant to BEE [Black Economic Empowerment, aka affirmative action]. ‘No white male appointments for the rest of the financial year,’ reads an Eskom Human Resources memo, circulated in January of 2008 …

The same supple thinking went into destroying the steady supply of coal to the electricity companies. Bound by BEE policies, whereby supplies must be purchased from black firms first, Eskom began buying coal from the spot market. Buyers were to descend down the BEE procurement pyramid as follows: buy spot coal first from black women-owned suppliers, then from small black suppliers, next were large black suppliers, and only after all these options had been exhausted (or darkness descended; whatever came first), from “other” suppliers. The result was an expensive and unreliable coal supply, which contributed to the pervasive power failures.

The American government is marred, at every level, with similar set-asides, preferential hiring practices and affirmative action, which compromise an already compromised institution (when it comes to the state, where incentives are inverted, the less efficient they are the more funds government departments get).

The U.S. government hasn’t had an entrance test since 1982. It abandoned both the Federal Civil Service Entrance Examination and the Professional and Administrative Career Examination (PACE) because blacks and Latinos were much less likely to pass either of them. In academia, law schools have lowered the bar in admissions and on the bar exam. Universities run a ‘dual admissions system’; ‘one admissions pool for white applicants [and Asians] and another, far less competitive, pool for minorities.

Institutional or systemic rot certainly explains some of the failures on the COVID-19 front.

By way of comparison, the South Koreans entrusted contact tracing to teams of highly intelligent, Sherlock Holmes-type characters. Contact tracing is indeed an endeavor requiring highly skilled detective types. The South Koreans have done it to perfection from the start.

The United States was never in control of COVID-19. We never had serious contact tracing to help prevent spread. Rest assured, though, that had COVID-19 been caught in its infancy, and contact tracing implemented to that end, the government would have used it as a job creation opportunity. Instead of merit-based appointments, state and federal authorities would have turned it into a job-creation project for minorities.

No doubt, our country is suffering a blackout of intelligence. It is collapsing under the black hole of affirmative action.

News of the Times;
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?

Tiger can drive a ball 300 yards without a near-death experience.


I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.

It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.


Local woman Jenna Jenkins allegedly made uncomfortable small talk with herself yesterday while self-administering a haircut at home, sources making an embarrassing attempt to feign human connection report.

“I can’t afford a salon visit right now, but due to my steadily declining mental health, I decided I couldn’t go another second without cutting my hair,” explained the 33-year-old from her bathroom. “I spent hours saving dozens of reference photos on my phone and I watched almost three entire YouTube tutorials, so I was feeling pretty confident.”

Jenkins, who lives alone and has been working from home since last spring, credited the few, brief physical interactions with others with her conversational skills.

“As soon as I got started, these questions just came pouring out of me. ‘How are you today?’ ‘What do you do for work?’ ‘Are you sure you want bangs? I’m not sure that style suits you.’ You know, standard line of inquiry,” Jenkins recalled. “Gradually the conversation pivoted to more poignant topics like, ‘I can’t believe how early the sun sets this time of year,’ ‘I really like your necklace,’ and ‘Casey is definitely the hotter Affleck.’ It really felt like I was there, at the salon, staring at my practically disembodied head in the mirror thinking, ‘There’s no way I actually look like this.’ Finally, some normalcy.”

When asked how she felt about the new ‘do, Jenkins was outwardly pleased, though she admitted to spending several of the following hours in tears and making a desperate call to friend and salon owner Heather Flaherty for affirmation and guidance.

“In my professional opinion, I think introducing a few more topics like how dry her hair is, if she found a good parking spot, and her lackluster love life would have really elevated the experience,” Flaherty stated. “Polite but irrelevant small talk is just as important as the haircut itself. It’s just fuvking weird if you don’t say anything. I hope she left herself a nice tip.”

Jenkins has since acquired a stylish but not over compensatory hat, as well as a renewed sense of agonizing loneliness.


I found a DVD the other day called Bald and Barely legal.

I rushed home to watch it, as I sat there with my cock in hand.

I couldn't hide my disappointment.

Turns out it was a safety DVD from the department of transport on tire depths.


My son's head teacher rang yesterday and said, "Your son has been bullying in school."

I said, "So what you going to do about it?"

They said, "Nothing, we're all scared of him."

Quote of the Times;
The only person who has made more wrong statements about #COVID19 than Governor Cuomo is Dr. Fauci. - Rep. Jim Jordan

Link of the Times;

Issue of the Times;
The Pandemic Is Over by Dan Gelernter

Conservative writers and pundits haven’t done too well this past year, and many of them turned out not even to be especially “conservative.” One oft-repeated prediction was that once the Democrats had taken over, COVID-19 would disappear overnight. This was based on the supposition that the panic was created or at least amplified to get Donald Trump out of office. To take just one example, the American Medical Association shortly after the election rescinded its statement against the use of hydroxychloroquine, admitting that the drug could actually be beneficial (just as Trump had claimed all along). The AMA, like the mainstream media and other ultra-Left pressure groups, had been perfectly happy for more people to die as long as it made Trump look bad.

But conservatives who predicted that COVID-19 would end with the Trump Administration were overlooking a central point: The Left’s hatred of Trump is merely a symptom of their guiding philosophy, which is, as “Yes, Minister” put it so concisely back in the 1970s, gradually to exclude people from government. The Left is in favor of any action that will expand the authority of bureaucrats by taking decisions out of the hands of citizens.

With the coronavirus, the Left is beside itself with glee: This is the first crisis since 9/11 broad enough to make possible a fundamental transformation of American society.

Crisis and Opportunity (To Expand Government)

Every great crisis in American history, without exception, has been used to expand government. The greater the crisis, the greater the scope for expansion: 9/11 led to the NSA monitoring the traffic of the entire internet. It also created the Department of Homeland Security and the TSA, with the power to ruin air travel forever and give passengers a taste of how they’d feel being processed into a federal penitentiary. Of course Israel, facing a much more persistent terror threat, manages to keep terrorists off planes without touching their passengers’ privates. America’s security measures—which will never go away—were not a result of what needed doing, but what the government thought they could get away with doing.

In the 1930s, the Great Depression was used as an opportunity to create a welfare state in America and issue every citizen with an identification number, which we call Social Security. The Depression didn’t actually go away until World War II, and, once it did go away, the massive new government programs remained. In the 1860s, the Civil War was also an opportunity to impose an income tax for the first time in American history. The income tax was unconstitutional, so it wasn’t until another great looming crisis—World War I—that the constitution was amended to make the income tax a permanent feature of our lives.

The reason coronavirus so delights today’s Left is that the public response to their power grab has been overwhelmingly docile: The numbers of deaths are vastly below historic health panics, even with generous inflation via guidelines encouraging doctors to record anyone who previously had the virus as having died from it.

Even so, the government was able to lock people in their homes for a “two-week period” that turned out to be roughly a year, destroy much of the hospitality sector of the economy, force people to cover their faces in public as though living under a secular sharia, and, perhaps best of all, they got neighbors to snitch on neighbors and children to report their parents when these edicts weren’t followed.

It has been a bonanza. The everyday American citizen will always remember 2020 as a painful, terrible, soul-crushing year. For the Left, that makes it one of the best years on record. It is one of those great years in which they changed how Americans live.

They need only to cement this victory by making those changes permanent.

On the Road to Tyranny

It is true that, right after the election, we suddenly got the previously withheld news of two effective vaccines. And it’s also true that, as soon as Biden was inaugurated, COVID-19 cases took a nosedive. But the Left wouldn’t want you to think that the danger has lessened. This is why the Biden Administration suggested that social distancing and mask-wearing will continue to be vital, even once the entire population is inoculated. They don’t want the pandemic to go away: A successful Biden Administration is not one in which coronavirus disappears, it is one in which Americans accept wearing masks for the rest of their lives.

Examine the box of masks you recently bought and you’ll probably see a small disclaimer on the side: “Not for medical use.” The masks the government has forced us to wear wouldn’t be acceptable in any hospital. Bring this up to a well-intentioned mask-mandate supporter, and he’ll say that the non-medical masks are still good because they reduce the spread of ‘droplets’ from sneezes and coughs, which will reduce the spread of the virus. What this amounts to is admitting that the entire nation has been compelled to wear masks for a year as an alternative to covering our mouths when we sneeze.

Or maybe we should be forced to up the mask mandate to medical-grade. That is what they’re doing right now in Germany: Medical masks must be worn by all citizens at all times. Meanwhile, in Paris, a curfew has been imposed, which ironically makes the shops and streets more crowded because everyone must be home by 6 p.m. These are incremental steps on the road to tyranny: They don’t necessarily increase public safety—they may harm it. But they do give the government more power, and that is the important thing, the operative goal. Europe is a few steps ahead of America in its gradual dissolution of democracy, but America will follow just as fast as the public is willing to tolerate.

Meanwhile, big corporations play ball because it helps destroy smaller competitors who can’t keep up. For example, spring training is to begin shortly. Even though the Mets will be playing in Florida, which is completely open (and a wonderful slice of normal life it is!) the Mets will limit capacity at these practice games to 20 percent, enforce “pod” seating, and require that fans wear masks for the entire duration of the game despite their being outside and nowhere near anyone else. These ridiculous rules exist because the sport is controlled by Major League Baseball Enterprises, Inc., which can take advantage of this opportunity, among other things, to use a prohibition on ticket resales to crush apps like Stubhub and Ticketmaster that were making professional sports so much more affordable.

Industry leaders across the board invite additional restrictions so they can ride on their capital reserves while smaller companies and independent businesses die off. The motivation is the same as when the tech giants ask the government “please regulate us”: Regulations are an anti-competitive gift to established industry leaders. Big companies get to sound virtuous, asking for additional rules in the name of public safety or consumer protection, with the hidden but real goal of crushing competitors through compliance costs. Look at the most regulated industries, from medicine to aviation, and you’ll invariably find the greatest ossification and the least innovation, combined with the lowest satisfaction. Coronavirus has created a wonderful new competition-killing regulatory opportunity.

Reject the “New Normal”

Americans are big-hearted and generous, with a desire to protect their fellow man. They have sacrificed their livelihoods, their comfort, their happiness. The government and the big political donors are taking advantage of this spirit of generosity.

Americans can fight back not just by supporting small businesses, but by rejecting coronavirus restrictions, and helping businesses reject them. Refuse to wear a mask. If a store owner asks you to put a mask on, tell him it doesn’t bother you if he takes his mask off. The sky won’t fall. Refuse to comply and help your neighbors to refuse to comply. Stores and restaurants fear regulators fining them out of business, and that is where big conservative donors and crowd-funding campaigns must step in. Sponsor small businesses to fight. Not to pay their fines—to fight, in court. Argue disparate impact. Argue lack of equal protection. Argue exceeding constitutional authority. Fight these regulations everywhere.

And reject the “new normal.” It is safe, and for the health of society, it is imperative that we return to the old normal, where you could see your friends whenever you wanted, shake hands, travel to families, see peoples’ faces on the street. We are stronger together—and that means actually together, not the Orwellian version where we are “together” in total isolation. 2020 was the year of government overreach. Make 2021 the year of organized civil disobedience and friendly reunions. The pandemic is over.

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Anyone know a cure for sex addiction?

I've tried fuvking everything.


I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts' which, on the one hand is great.

On the other hand, they're just not right.



The Chinese New Year was last Friday. We are now in the Year of the Ox. Should be a big year for clumsy people.

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Time to get out there and hit those After-Valentine's Day Sales.

The governor of South Dakota has decided to delay legalizing medicinal marijuana for one more year. In her defense, it does make you lazy and want to put things off.

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A new study predicts that drones will make up 30% of the home delivery market by 2040. Considering what age I'll be by then, I'm good with it.

An advertising guy who died last month has left $5-million to his dog. Why do I have this sudden, uncontrollable urge to adopt that dog?

A new study says that pigs can actually be trained to play video games. I would teach my pig, but I'm afraid he'd hog the game.

Philadelphia, the folks who make cream cheese, are now making cheesecake desert cups, for people obsessed with cheesecake. Because your favorite pair of jeans were starting to fit again?

Archeologists have discovered an ancient brewery in Egypt. Well, that explains how they got to the point of worshiping cats.


How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side.

Then he lies on the other.


“Describe yourself with one word”, my employer asked.

“Bad with numbers”, I blurted out.

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It is a sad commentary on our times that one political party in America is given a free pass to denigrate the rule of law, defame law enforcement, cheer mobs, excuse rioters, and transform justice into a tool of political vengeance, and persecute, blacklist, cancel and suppress all people and viewpoints with whom or which they disagree. I always have, and always will, be a champion for the unwavering rule of law, the heroes of law enforcement, and the right of Americans to peacefully and honorably debate the issues of the day without malice and without hate. – Trump

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They're Obliterating our History More Quickly Than You Think by Patrice Lewis

Last summer I read an engrossing book entitled "1421: The Year China Discovered America" by Gavin Menzies, a retired British submarine lieutenant commander turned amateur archeologist. The book documented his efforts to demonstrate how a Chinese fleet of hundreds (perhaps thousands) of ships set sail in 1421 and circumnavigated the world, touching base everywhere from the Americas (North and South), Australia, Africa, Greenland, Europe, and all points between. The purpose of the expeditions, according to Menzies, was to chart the waters of the globe, impress and intimidate foreign rulers, and bring the entire world into China's "tribute system."

The book was riveting. While COVID lockdowns and subsequent unemployment soared around America, I was lost in the voyages of these Chinese explorers. While cities burned around the nation, causing billions of dollars in damages and killing dozens of people, I was absorbed by the evidence of the expeditions found in California and the Caribbean. While BLM and Antifa toppled statues, defaced monuments and demanded history be rewritten, I was captivated by the evidence presented of the Chinese discovery of Australia and even Antarctica. While Portland, Seattle and other blue cities were torn apart by constant violence and anarchy, I was immersed in the phenomenal accomplishments of those Imperial Chinese fleets.

Some sources dismiss Menzies as a "pseudo-historian" because he doesn't have academic credentials after his name (for the record, I'm not nearly as impressed by academic credentials as I used to be), but I found the book compelling and fascinating nonetheless. Whether or not Menzies' conclusions are accurate is not the focus of this column. Instead, ponder this question: If the premise of the book is true – if evidence points to China being world explorers long before Europeans – why doesn't history reflect this? Why aren't the accomplishments of Imperial China known throughout the world?

The proposed answer, according to Menzies, is because during the years the voyagers were at sea and out of touch with their mother country, Imperial China's tumultuous and controversial régime changed, and its leaders (who commissioned the fleet) were deposed. The new incoming régime was rigidly insular. All foreign goods, services and trade were forcibly suppressed and – here's the critical part – expunged from the records. As with many cultural revolutions, the leaders wanted their reign to be "Year Zero" for history. The accomplishments of the previous rulers were not just unwelcome, they were downright dangerous to acknowledge.

Therefore, when the greatly diminished Chinese fleets finally limped home, these mariners found themselves irrelevant and their discoveries and adventures dismissed. "Not only was the priceless legacy of the greatest maritime expeditions of all time gone forever, foreign lands were to be banished from the minds of the Chinese people," wrote Menzies. "The legacy of [the expedition leaders] and their great treasure fleets would be all but obliterated. What oceans they had sailed, what lands they had seen, what discoveries they had made, what settlement they had created were no longer of interest to the Chinese hierarchy. … The logs and records were destroyed, and the memory of them expunged so completely over the succeeding decades that they might never have existed."

When I read that last line, I was stunned. Absolutely floored. Why would any nation erase such a glorious legacy of world exploration? Why would they take second place behind European explorers in terms of historical accuracy and bragging rights?

As American anarchists (encouraged by Democratic leaders) burned and rioted and toppled statues and rewrote history during the last year, I pondered that question. Then it hit me. Oh wait …

America is doing the same thing.

America, too, has experienced a régime change in which the Five Evils (Big Tech, Hollywood, public education, mainstream media, politicians) are engaging in a long-term scrubbing of history, both past and modern. In a remarkably short period of time, our history – the good, the bad and the ugly – is being expunged from the records, leaving behind a sterilized and factually false account. Our founding documents are being dismissed as racist, and the intellectual giants who shaped the groundwork for a nation of freedom are being rebranded as white supremacists whose legacy is not just unimportant, but downright dangerous to acknowledge. America's origins are being rewritten to fit the narrative of the extreme left agenda.

How long before the logs and records of our history are destroyed, and the memory of them expunged so completely over the succeeding decades that they might never have existed? Even now there are whole generations of children who have grown up completely ignorant of major world events, everything from the Holocaust to the democide (death by government) of hundreds of millions of people over the last 120 years due to socialism and communism. They are equally ignorant of American history except what reflects the extreme leftist narrative.

"As with most cultural revolutions that wish to start things over at 'Year Zero,'" wrote historian and columnist Victor Davis Hanson last August, "the violence is aimed at America's past in order to change its present and future. The targets are not just the old majority culture but also classical statues and buildings, hallowed institutions, religious icons, the renowned names of streets and plazas, and almost every representation of tradition and authority. … The point of the mob is to wipe out what it cannot create. It topples what it can neither match nor even comprehend. It would erode the very system that ensures it singular freedom, leisure, and historic affluence. The brand of the anarchist is not logic but envy-driven power: to take it, to keep it, and to use it against purported enemies – which would otherwise be impossible in times of calm or through the ballot box."

Even now, the left is trying to scrub President Trump from history. We're watching it happen in real time.

We are witnessing a purge unprecedented in America, but widely repeated through world history during tyrannical régimes. Dissenting voices are silenced, religious expression is suppressed, statues are toppled, history is rewritten, and – most importantly – the education of children is strictly regulated. As Hitler so accurately observed, "When an opponent declares, 'I will not come over to your side,' I calmly say, 'Your child belongs to us already. … What are you? You will pass on. Your descendants, however, now stand in the new camp. In a short time they will know nothing else but this new community."

And it's all happening in less time than you think.

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