At what age did Chuck Norris lose his virginity?
Chuck Norris never loses.
Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts.
It's because I unfollowed you a long time ago.
5 Ways To Be Supportive of Your Friend’s Band That Doesn’t Involve Seeing Them Play Their Shitty Music Live
Let’s face it, everyone has a friend who plays in a horrible band. We want to be supportive of their musical dreams but we also don’t want to be burdened by having to go see them perform because they’re absolute horseshit. If you still want to back your pals but don’t want to spend another Friday night assaulting your eardrums, here are a few helpful tips instead:
1. Give your ticket to a coworker – Tell your friend that you’re really stoked to see them play but you’d rather help them build a fanbase which is why you gave your ticket to Gary from work. Your friend will appreciate this thoughtful gesture and will be clueless as to its true motivation.
2. Convince them to go on tour – Blow smoke up their ass by telling them that they’re so good that they definitely need to tour out of state for exposure. You’d love to travel and see them play if it wasn’t for your job/depression/all those pesky outstanding warrants you have waiting for you as soon as you cross state lines, whatever. Oh well.
3. Buy all their merch – Pretend you’re their biggest fan by buying all of their merch and flood social media with pics of you wearing it, to distract from the fact you’ll be in a nearby bar watching a band that doesn’t suck out loud play.
4. Offer to help set up equipment while faking an illness – Lie and say you’d love to check out their gig but you’ve been puking all day. You’re not sure if it’s Covid or another venereal disease, you just know it feels like you’re dying. Offer to help them set up their equipment at the venue for as long as it takes, but your concerned friend will insist you stay home and recover instead. Fuck yeah.
5. Wish them success while faking your death – After your illness runs its natural, fabricated course, sit them down and break the bad news that you’re going to die. Apologize that you won’t be able to see them perform anymore, but that your last wish on earth is that they finally make it big. Ask for privacy and keep a low profile until the band breaks up in a couple months and your friend becomes a realtor like all your other ex-musician friends.
A new study says that we're on track for half of the world's population will be overweight or obese by 2035.
I feel like I'm ahead of my time.
I've been doing my part.
It's nice to have obtainable goals.
My friend keeps saying, "Cheer up, man, it could be worse. You could be stuck in a hole in the ground full of water."
I know he means well.
Quote of the Times;
Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. - The Declaration of Independence
Link of the Times;
Question Everything, Stay Sane, Live Free:
Issue of the Times;
Founding father James Madison sidelined by woke history in his own home by Mary Kay Linge and Jon Levine
The globalist billionaire who funded the woke transformation of Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello paid for a similar overhaul of James Madison’s house — where the author of the US Constitution has been shoved into a supporting role, while slavery and racism take center stage.
No American flags fly in view of Montpelier, Madison’s plantation home in rural Virginia, or at its modern visitor’s center. Not a single display focuses on the life and accomplishments of America’s foremost political philosopher, who created our three-branch federal system of government, wrote the Bill of Rights and the Federalist Papers, and served two terms as president.
Instead, blindsided tourists are hammered by high-tech exhibits about Madison’s slaves and current racial conflicts, thanks to a $10 million grant from left-leaning philanthropist David M. Rubenstein.
“I was kind of thinking we’d be hearing more about the Constitution,” one baffled dad said when The Post visited the president’s home this week. “But everything here is really about slavery.”
Reviewers on social media have been more harsh.
“They really miss the mark,” Greg Hancock of Mesa, Ariz. posted last week. “We left disappointed not having learned more about … the creation of the Constitution.”
“The worst part were the gross historical inaccuracies and constant bias exhibited by the tour guide,” complained AlexZ, who visited July 8.
Visitors to Montpelier get to see just three rooms in the sprawling mansion. The estate “made Madison the philosopher, farmer, statesman, and enslaver that he was,” the guide said as The Post’s group entered the home — a line she repeated at the end of her spiel.
Outdoors and in the house’s huge basement, dozens of interactive stations seek to draw a direct line between slavery, the Constitution, and the problems of African Americans today.
“A one hour Critical Race Theory experience disguised as a tour,” groused Mike Lapolla of Tulsa, Okla., after visiting last August.
Hurricane Katrina flooding, the Ferguson riots, incarceration, and more all trace back to slavery, according to a 10-minute multi-screen video.
Another exhibit damns every one of the nation’s first 18 presidents — even those, like John Adams and Abraham Lincoln, who never owned slaves — for having benefited from slavery in some way.
The only in-depth material about the Constitution itself appears in a display that pushes the claim, championed by the controversial 1619 Project, that racism was the driving force behind the entire American political system.
Even the children’s section of the gift shop leans far left, with titles like “Antiracist Baby” by Ibram X. Kendi and “She Persisted” by Chelsea Clinton.
Virginia Rep. Bob Good called the historical rewrite “a deliberate attack on those founding institutions.”
“The left is trying to revise our history and is perpetuating a dishonest narrative,” the Republican said.
But the progressive programming will likely accelerate in the wake of a board battle at the Montpelier Foundation, the nonprofit that runs the estate.
In May, the National Trust for Historic Preservation, which owns the home, forced the board to accept a slate of left-wing activist members in the name of racial equity.
The new members aim to transform Montpelier into “a black history and black rights organization that could care less about James Madison and his legacy,” board member Mary Alexander, a documented descendant of Madison’s slave Paul Jennings, told the Orange County Review.
“There were hundreds of thousands of slave owners,” Alexander said. “But not hundreds of thousands who wrote the Constitution.”
Virginia Gov. Glenn Youngkin, who rose to power on parent outcry over critical race theory in public schools, refused to comment on Rubensteins donation — although the two were close allies at the Carlyle Group investment firm, where both made their fortunes.
“The governor believes we should teach all history, including the good and the bad, but firmly believes that we shouldn’t distort it,” said Youngkin spokesperson Macaulay Porter.
“This is part of a larger movement to distort the legacy of the Founders and undermine the principles they put forth,” said Brenda Hafera of the Heritage Foundation’s Simon Center for American Studies.
“If you can undermine the Founders, you create the opportunity for those principles to be replaced by something else,” she said — “something like Critical Race Theory or identity politics.”
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