An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks once more for old times sake. He hires a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's going at it as best as he can for a guy his age. He asks, "How’m I doing?"
The prostitute replies, "Well sailor, you're doing about three knots."
"Three knots?" he replies, "What the hell that’s supposed to mean?"
She says, "You're knot hard, you're knot in and you're knot getting your money back"
*.*
Three baseball fans leave the stadium after a game and come across a dead, naked woman lying in the middle of the street. After they call the cops, they each take off their baseball caps and place them on the dead woman out of respect and to cover her private parts until the cops arrive.
The first fan places his Boston Red Sox cap over her left breast, the second places his Phillies cap on her right breast and the third fan places his Yankees cap on her pubic area.
The cops finally arrive, and the officers take statements from the fans to find out what happened. After explaining that they found her naked and covered her up with their caps, the cop went over to examine the body.
He briefly lifted the Red Sox cap, and quickly replaced it; then he lifted the Phillies cap, and also quickly replaced it.
However, when he lifted the Yankees cap, he stared and stared for what seemed to be two or three minutes. Finally, he let the cap drop, walked away, wrote in his notebook, then returned and lifted the Yankees cap once again and stared for a long time.
As he was walking away the second time, the fans were curious and stopped him and asked him why he spent so much time looking at the woman's genitalia, and he said, "It's the first time I've seen anything but an asshole under a Yankees cap."
*.*
Oneliners:
Earn cash in your spare time...blackmail friends.
Entropy isn't what it used to be.
Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them used to reality.
Overheard on the elevator: "Their marriage was going O.K. until they bought a water bed... then they started drifting apart."
Constant use will wear out anything... especially friends.
Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
*.*
Oregon Militia Bored With Lack Of Shock Or Awe
BURNS, Ore. — The small anti-government militia occupying a wildlife refuge building in Oregon has officially gotten so bored with the government’s tepid response and total lack of shock and/or awe that the members are now resorting to menial tasks such as filing paperwork to pass the time.
Ryan Bundy, a member of the militia, said that he really wishes his group had been mistaken for violent lunatics. “We were hoping to become martyrs on the battlefield of freedom, but instead we’re left here looking at piles of unfinished Wildlife Protection Applications,” stated Bundy. “Here we are, staring right into the eyes of the true evil of government: bureaucracy.”
People who are not really famous but do have access to Twitter accounts, such as Kevin M. Kruse, have been offering their own help in the form calling the group “terrorists.”
“We’re hoping that if we rally enough fear, we can get the whole militia wiped out as a human sacrifice for the furtherance of liberty,” Kruse said on Twitter. He declined to comment further, as he had already reached the character limit for a single post.
In the meantime, other y’all-Qaeda groups have rallied around the cause of occupying government buildings such as the VA, DMV, and Immigration Services. Because all of those government buildings have yet to see an employee return from the holiday break, not a single person has been held against his or her will, nor even found on-site.
Federal response to those Collation Forces has been equally dismissive, leading the rest of these would-be patriots to start taking serious action and processing the never-ending backlog of paperwork present.
At press time, the White House Press Secretary said that the members of Yokel Haram would be held accountable in due time. “Just as soon as we submit the proper applications to the Department of Homeland Security, we can start the necessary background checks on the militia to determine our eligibility to file a formal complaint against those religious extremists and their holy yeehawd,” Earnest announced.
*.*
About a week ago, I came across an internet advice column that told me how to eliminate the paperwork clutter on my desk.
GREAT!
So I printed out the five pages of how-to instructions, and placed them on top of the rest of the stuff on my desk. Now I can't find them.
Issue of the Times;
What We Must Learn From The Hungarian Communist Revolution Of 1919
The ancestors of todays SJWs showed their true colors.
Historians of twentieth century Europe, I have noticed, tend to gloss over or minimize the atrocities and crimes of leftists, anarchists, and communists. We hear constantly about the excesses of the right; and yet the left is portrayed as the perennial victim, never stepping beyond the boundaries of civilized conduct. And yet nothing could be further from the truth. The growth of the far right in Europe after the First World War was often traceable to the disorder, chaos, and fear generated by leftist and communist crimes. In country after country, the pattern was the same: outside agents or internal traitors seeking to destabilize the societies in which they lived.
The reader will perceive that there is a direct line of descent from the communist-Bolshevist agitators of yesteryear and the militant social justice warrior (SJW) of today. They are cats of the same stripe. Both of them sought to undermine and destroy the societies in which they lived, and did not care much how they went about doing it. We will now turn to an example, that of the communist revolution in 1919 Hungary. It was the second communist republic to come into existence, after Russia; and while its longevity was mercifully brief, its advent was marked by vindictive violence and bloodshed.
The author of the 1919 Hungarian revolution was a cunning, treacherous man named Bela Kun. His birth name was Bela Kohen or Kohn, and he was born in 1886 in what is now Lelei, Romania. Sometime around 1904 he changed his last name to Kun.
Before the First World War, he was engaged in work as a newspaper journalist in Austria-Hungary, much like the militant social justice warriors (SJWs) of today. He was known for his combative nature, and was apparently accused of embezzlement at one point. He served in the military forces of Austria-Hungary in the First World War, but was captured by the Russians in 1916. When Russia became convulsed in revolution in 1917-1918, he willingly allowed himself to become an agent of the Communist International. He was a committed communist and found its methods and promises attractive. He knew Lenin and approved of his brutal methods, and thought that exporting this brand of terror to the country of his birth would be a good thing
The Bolsheviks sent him back to Hungary in 1918 with a large sum of money and several hundred cadres for the specific purpose of undertaking a coup. In this he was greatly helped by the post-war dislocation and chaos caused by the collapse of the old monarchy. Like a plague bacillus, he and his followers sought to infect a weakened society with an evil ideology that cloaked itself in the language of liberation. His tactics were those of fear and intimidation: he and his group organized strikes, demonstrations, and employed the use of violence against dissenters. Hungary was in chaos and many in government were opposed to the Allies’ plans to redraw the country’s borders. At some point, Kun was asked to take part in a coalition government with the Social Democrats; his known ties to Soviet Russia were expected to be a useful card in negotiations with the Western allies. Kun promised that he could bring Russian support to a new Hungarian coalition government.
And here we see the truth illustrated in stark clarity once again: trying to appease or negotiate with SJW fanatics is a losing proposition. This proved to be the case with Kun in 1919. As the price for his support, Kun demanded the declaration of a Soviet republic in Hungary, as well as the domination of the Social Democrats by the communists. Like fools, the traditional forces of the old order allowed a snake to enter the tent; and once there, the snake quickly took over. The Hungarian Soviet Republic was declared in March 1919. Kun was the dominant force in the new government and immediately embarked on a radical program, such as the nationalization of all private property. He used gangs of thugs known as the “Lenin Boys” to murder and terrorize anyone who was thought to be insufficiently enthusiastic for the regime. All the usual Bolshevist apparatus was brought into Hungary: secret tribunals, secret police, and revolutionary “courts.”
But events would soon spiral out of control. Hungary became involved in border disputes, then open war, with Romania and Czechoslovakia. Romania then invaded Hungary and marched on Budapest, deposing Kun and his retinue of flunkies in August 1919. The government had lasted only 133 days. The Soviet Red Army in Russia, too preoccupied with its own problems, could do little but offer rhetorical support for Kun.
But Kun’s blood-stained career was not over. He was briefly interned in Vienna, but later released as part of a prisoner exchange; thereafter, he found his way back to Russia, where he could find additional opportunities to commit violence and atrocities against innocents. Kun participated in Russia’s civil war in the 1920s, and according to historians was directly responsible for the execution of about 50,000 White Russian prisoners and civilians (with the approval of Lenin). These were people who had been promised amnesty if they would surrender. Kun later took charge of the Crimea, and there he undertook a vigorous program of murder, torture, and mass deportations. It is estimated that he supervised the execution of 60,000 to 70,000 Crimean inhabitants.
For the rest of the 1920s, he worked as an agent of the Comintern, traveling around Europe and trying to foment revolutions. One he organized in Germany ended in complete failure (the “March Action” program). Thereafter his credibility in communist circles waned; he was arrested in Vienna and deported to Russia. There he spent his time denouncing former comrades and planning future projects.
But history seems to have a perverse sense of humor, and Kun would eventually see some measure of justice. The advent of Joseph Stalin changed the game in Russia; he distrusted foreign communists, especially those with ties to the old Bolsheviks. Around 1937, Kun was arrested, tortured, and shot by Stalin’s NKVD, for the stated reason of being a “counter-revolutionary terrorist.” So perished the diabolical and cruel engineer of the deaths of so many others, by the very hand of the people he had sought to elevate. There is a crude, but fitting, sort of justice in this outcome.
Readers may draw their own conclusions from the Bela Kun story, and what those lessons mean for the present day. At the very least, his career suggests the following: (1) making alliances with people of this sort is a useless exercise; (2) the vindictiveness and cruelty of such people cannot be underestimated; (3) physical force is often needed to confront them.
Quote of the Times;
“There is no excellent beauty, that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.” - Bacon
Link of the Times;
www.infowars.com/dakota-pipeline-protesters-leave-1-million-clean-up-bill-for-taxpayers/
Hungarian?
Ham?
Get Ready To Completely Change The Way You Perceived The World
Pin Number - ATM pins were originally supposed to have six digits. The inventor changed it to four digits, however, because his wife claimed she could only remember that many numbers.
Padlock Hole - Have you ever wondered why there's a hole on the bottom of padlocks? Well, it's there to let water drain out of the lock when it's being used outdoors. This way, the lock won't rust from rain or freeze from cold weather.
Mattress Bugs - In a course of ten years, an average mattress doubles in weight. All that extra weight comes from an accumulation of dust mite poop and dust mites. Invest in a new bed as often as possible!
T-shirt - Originally invented all the way back in 1904 for bachelors who didn't have a wife or any sewing skills.
Wine and Champagne Bottle Indentations - The indentations on the bottom of wine and champagne bottles are there to help evenly distribute the pressure of the contents inside the bottle.
Sugar Free Fib - Tic Tac's claim to be sugar-free when they're actually 98% made of sugar. The FDA doesn't let food label themselves as "sugar-free," unless they have less than .5 grams of sugar per serving. A typical serving size of a Tic Tac is .49 grams.
Germs - Wearing a ring can be more unsanitary than you think. The number of germs living beneath the ring you're wearing could be equivalent to the entire population of Europe, which is about 730 million.
Salting Pineapple - Although it sounds weird, adding salt to a pineapple makes it taste sweeter. Don't knock it until you try it.
Fire Hydrant Patent - The owner of the patent for fire hydrants is actually unknown due to the patent office where the records were being held burning down.
Gross Office Desk - It's time to start wiping down your office desk more often. The average office desk has over 400 times more bacteria than an average toilet.
M&M's Origin - Did you know that M&M's were originally created for soldiers in World War II. They were made so that soldiers could carry around chocolate that didn't melt in hot weather.
Zipper Injuries - These injuries happen more often than you think. To be exact, approximately 20,000 folks go to the ER each year for these zipper-involved genital injuries.
Decreased Life Expectancy - If a person watches 2 hours of television a day, it decreases his or her life expectancy by 1.4 years. Time to watch less tv and save some electricity!
Barbie's Last Name - Not only does Barbie have a last name, but a middle name as well. Her full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
Chainsaws - These were originally invented to serve as a surgical instrument for assisting in childbirth. It was used in symphysiotomy, a procedure that widens the pelvis.
Bee Orgasm - The male honey bee solely exists to mate with the queen bee. Once the male bee has an orgasm, his testicle explodes and he dies.
*.*
I've decided to dedicate my body to a medical school, and just before I die, I'm going to swallow a little plastic toy.
That way, the medical student who cuts me open will get a nice surprise.
I just hope the other medical students aren't sad because they didn't get a toy with their cadaver, too.
*.*
This young Indian kid was being fired.
He said to the shop foreman: "This is bullshit, you're firing me because I'm Indian!"
The boss said, "No, get this straight, we hired you because you were an Indian.
We're getting rid of you because you’re fucking useless!"
*.*
The British:
British Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that she intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits. Starting next week, all forms will be printed in English.
When I was in the pub I heard a couple of dickheads saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of sexist tw#ts. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloody thing!
Local Police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter' who has stabbed six people in the arse in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.
Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time . . .
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy.
I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone.
"Morning." I said.
"No" he replied, "just having a pee."
A Scottish pedophile has raised a dispute with eBay. He claims that the Wii Game Boy he received isn't what he was expecting.
I got some new aftershave today that smells like breadcrumbs. The birds love it!
On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said ‘English speaking Doctor’ I thought, 'What a good idea, why don’t we have them in our country?'
*.*
A new Middle East crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.
A spokesman for the channel said . . . 'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humor, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'
Issue of the Times;
The Meaning of Life is a Ham Sandwich by Mark Manson
You know the question. It’s the ultimate question. The question that you and I and everyone has laid awake at night thinking about. The question that brings equal parts wonder and terror to our feeble minds. Why are we here? What is the point of it all? What is the meaning of life?
Well, fortunately, I figured it out while I was at the gym this morning. I’m pretty sure it’s a ham sandwich. And no, I’m not saying that just because I’m hungry. There’s an explanation here. I’m going to explain it, clickbait titles and all, in, oh, the next eight minutes or so.
First off, before we can even appropriately ask “What is the meaning of life?” we must first settle something more subtle and something more important. Namely, what is meaning?
WHAT IS MEANING? (AND OTHER QUESTIONS THAT MAKE YOU WANT TO PUNCH SOMEONE IN THE FACE)
What is meaning? That may strike you as terribly navel-gazey and ultra-philosophical. And if that’s the case, I invite you to think about ham sandwiches for a moment, and just stick with me for a minute. Because it’s important.
What does it mean for something to mean something? As humans, we have a constant need to attach meaning to everything that happens in our lives.
My mom hugs me, that must mean that she loves me. My boss complimented me, that must mean I do good work. It’s going to be sunny tomorrow, that must mean I can wear my super-cool SpongeBob tank top to school.
Meaning is the association that we draw between two experiences or events in our minds. X happens, then Y happens, so we assume that means X causes Y. Z happens, and we get really bummed out and feel awful, therefore we assume that Z sucks.
Our brains invent meaning the way dogs shit — they do it gleefully and not even realizing that they’re ruining the carpet. Our brains invent meaning as a way to explain all the crazy shit that is going on in the world around us. This is important, as it helps us predict and control our lives.
But let’s be real: meaning is an arbitrary mental construct. Fifty people can watch the exact same event and draw fifty different meanings from said event. That’s why there’s so much arguing in politics. That’s why eyewitnesses are so unreliable in court. That’s why your friends are sometimes the biggest assholes — because that meaning you just shared, to them, meant something completely different.
Our brains slap together two different types of meaning:
Cause/Effect Meaning: You kick the ball, the ball moves. You tell your friend his hair is ugly, your friend slaps you in the face. You do X, and with reliable certainty, Y will result.
We all need Cause/Effect meaning to survive. It helps us predict the future and learn from the past. Cause/Effect meaning primarily involves the logical parts of our brain. Science, for instance, is the constant search of more and more Cause/Effect Meaning.
Better/Worse Meaning: Eating is better than starving. Making money is better than being broke. Sharing is better than stealing. Better/Worse meaning has to do with the nature of our values — what we perceive to be most important and useful in our lives.
Better/Worse meaning relies mostly on the emotional parts of our brains. Generally what makes us feel good is what we immediately assume to be “good” or “better.”
Both forms of meaning evolved in our brains to help us survive. For thousands of years, humans needed to remember where certain food could be found, how various animals would respond when hunted, how weather patterns change and how to read the terrain. They also needed to know what would gain them acceptance within their tribe, what would curry favor from friends and earn approval from that sexy guy/gal in the loin cloth over yonder.
So in that sense, meaning is nature’s tool for motivation. It’s how evolution made sure we got shit done. Meaning drives all of our actions. When there is great meaning attached to something, like our child is sick and starving, we will go to insane lengths to make things right. People will often even go as far as to give up their lives for some grand sense of meaning (see: religion, every war ever). Meaning is that effective at moving people.
Conversely, when we feel we lack meaning in our lives, when shit just doesn’t seem to matter, when there’s no clarity on how or why things happen to us, we do nothing. We sit on the couch and twiddle our thumbs and watch lame reruns while complaining on the internet about lame reruns.
But here’s the kicker (and I swear I’m going to get to the ham sandwich): meaning is a resource that we must cultivate in our lives.
Meaning is not something that exists outside of ourselves. It is not some cosmic universal truth waiting to be discovered. It is not some grand ‘eureka’ moment that will change our lives forever.
Meaning requires action. Meaning is something that we must continually find and nurture. Consistently.
Meaning is like the water of our psychological health. Without it, our hearts and minds will shrivel and die. And like water, meaning flows through us — what is important today is not what was important years ago; and what is important tomorrow will not be the same as what is important today. Meaning must be sought out and replenished frequently.
In a very real sense, the meaning of life is therefore to create meaning.
So how does one create meaning? Two ways:
Solve Problems. The bigger the problem, the more meaning one will feel. The more work you do towards that problem, also the more meaning you will feel. Solving problems basically means finding ways to make the world a slightly better place. Can be as simple fixing up your aging mother’s dilapidated house. Or as complex as working on the new great breakthrough in physics.
The point here is not to be picky. It’s easy, when we start thinking of how insignificant we are on a cosmic scale of the universe, to start thinking there’s no point in doing anything unless we’re going to save the world or something. This is just a distraction. There are tons of small, everyday problems going on around you that need your attention. Start giving it.
Help Others. This is the biggie. As humans, we’re wired to thrive on our relationships. Studies show that our overall well-being is deeply tied to the quality of our relationships, and the best way to build healthy relationships is through helping others. In fact, some studies have even found that giving stuff away makes us happier than giving stuff to ourselves. Go figure.
As such, it seems to be a “hack” in our brains that helping out other people gives us a greater sense of meaning and purpose. Just the fact you can say to yourself, “If I died, then someone is better off because I lived,” creates that sense of meaning that can propel you forward.
THE TRAP OF SETTING GOALS
A lot of people find meaning through setting goals for themselves. They want the corner office, the big car, the fancy-pants shoes. It gives them a reason to wake up in the morning, a reason to bust their ass at work. It gives them something that makes them feel important and something to look forward to every day.
But goals are a double-edged sword. You have to be careful.
Goals are good tools for building motivation. The problem is that, by themselves, they are arbitrary and empty.
Unless there’s a why behind the goal full of meaning, the goal itself will provide little long-term happiness or satisfaction.
Ever see star athletes flounder after retirement? Or a guy who finally made his millions become deeply miserable because he doesn’t know what else to do with his life?
Goals are dangerous because the meaning they provide when you’re working towards them is the meaning that is taken away once you achieve them.
This is why all the superficial stuff like make a billion dollars, or own a Rolls Royce, or get your face plastered on the cover of a magazine all lead to a type of happiness that is shallow and short-lived — because the meaning is shallow and short-lived.
There has to be a deeper reason for your goals. Otherwise, the goals themselves will be empty and worthless in the long-run.
Notice that it’s the athletes who aspire to be the best at their sport for some greater reason — to build a charity, to start a business, to transition into another career — who handle retirement the best. Notice it’s the millionaires who spent their life working towards a deeper cause that remain content once all of their goals are checked off the checklist.
But some goals don’t even have to be big and sexy.
Take a ham sandwich. I sat down to write this article hungry. That’s a problem in my life. And I promised myself I’d pump out this draft before going and making myself a sandwich. That gave this hour some extra meaning.
And you know what? Maybe my wife’s hungry and I can make her one too. You know, make the world a better place and all that shit while I’m at it.
So what’s the meaning of life? Well, for me, right now, it’s a ham sandwich. What will yours be?
Quote of the Times;
"Force is among the most simple-minded, and hence primitive and unrefined, reactions that we hairless apes resort to. And it is nothing less than sadly astonishing that some of the most prominent enemies of peaceful commerce and voluntary cooperation have become known as “Progressives.” “Progressives'” first and overriding instinct whenever they encounter some economic or social situation that they disapprove of is to forcibly push, pull, demand, and prohibit individuals who are going peacefully about their own business to behave in ways that “Progressives” have divined is best." - Boudreaux
Link of the Times;
https://angrystaffofficer.com/
Pin Number - ATM pins were originally supposed to have six digits. The inventor changed it to four digits, however, because his wife claimed she could only remember that many numbers.
Padlock Hole - Have you ever wondered why there's a hole on the bottom of padlocks? Well, it's there to let water drain out of the lock when it's being used outdoors. This way, the lock won't rust from rain or freeze from cold weather.
Mattress Bugs - In a course of ten years, an average mattress doubles in weight. All that extra weight comes from an accumulation of dust mite poop and dust mites. Invest in a new bed as often as possible!
T-shirt - Originally invented all the way back in 1904 for bachelors who didn't have a wife or any sewing skills.
Wine and Champagne Bottle Indentations - The indentations on the bottom of wine and champagne bottles are there to help evenly distribute the pressure of the contents inside the bottle.
Sugar Free Fib - Tic Tac's claim to be sugar-free when they're actually 98% made of sugar. The FDA doesn't let food label themselves as "sugar-free," unless they have less than .5 grams of sugar per serving. A typical serving size of a Tic Tac is .49 grams.
Germs - Wearing a ring can be more unsanitary than you think. The number of germs living beneath the ring you're wearing could be equivalent to the entire population of Europe, which is about 730 million.
Salting Pineapple - Although it sounds weird, adding salt to a pineapple makes it taste sweeter. Don't knock it until you try it.
Fire Hydrant Patent - The owner of the patent for fire hydrants is actually unknown due to the patent office where the records were being held burning down.
Gross Office Desk - It's time to start wiping down your office desk more often. The average office desk has over 400 times more bacteria than an average toilet.
M&M's Origin - Did you know that M&M's were originally created for soldiers in World War II. They were made so that soldiers could carry around chocolate that didn't melt in hot weather.
Zipper Injuries - These injuries happen more often than you think. To be exact, approximately 20,000 folks go to the ER each year for these zipper-involved genital injuries.
Decreased Life Expectancy - If a person watches 2 hours of television a day, it decreases his or her life expectancy by 1.4 years. Time to watch less tv and save some electricity!
Barbie's Last Name - Not only does Barbie have a last name, but a middle name as well. Her full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
Chainsaws - These were originally invented to serve as a surgical instrument for assisting in childbirth. It was used in symphysiotomy, a procedure that widens the pelvis.
Bee Orgasm - The male honey bee solely exists to mate with the queen bee. Once the male bee has an orgasm, his testicle explodes and he dies.
*.*
I've decided to dedicate my body to a medical school, and just before I die, I'm going to swallow a little plastic toy.
That way, the medical student who cuts me open will get a nice surprise.
I just hope the other medical students aren't sad because they didn't get a toy with their cadaver, too.
*.*
This young Indian kid was being fired.
He said to the shop foreman: "This is bullshit, you're firing me because I'm Indian!"
The boss said, "No, get this straight, we hired you because you were an Indian.
We're getting rid of you because you’re fucking useless!"
*.*
The British:
British Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that she intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits. Starting next week, all forms will be printed in English.
When I was in the pub I heard a couple of dickheads saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of sexist tw#ts. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloody thing!
Local Police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter' who has stabbed six people in the arse in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.
Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time . . .
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy.
I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone.
"Morning." I said.
"No" he replied, "just having a pee."
A Scottish pedophile has raised a dispute with eBay. He claims that the Wii Game Boy he received isn't what he was expecting.
I got some new aftershave today that smells like breadcrumbs. The birds love it!
On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said ‘English speaking Doctor’ I thought, 'What a good idea, why don’t we have them in our country?'
*.*
A new Middle East crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.
A spokesman for the channel said . . . 'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humor, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'
Issue of the Times;
The Meaning of Life is a Ham Sandwich by Mark Manson
You know the question. It’s the ultimate question. The question that you and I and everyone has laid awake at night thinking about. The question that brings equal parts wonder and terror to our feeble minds. Why are we here? What is the point of it all? What is the meaning of life?
Well, fortunately, I figured it out while I was at the gym this morning. I’m pretty sure it’s a ham sandwich. And no, I’m not saying that just because I’m hungry. There’s an explanation here. I’m going to explain it, clickbait titles and all, in, oh, the next eight minutes or so.
First off, before we can even appropriately ask “What is the meaning of life?” we must first settle something more subtle and something more important. Namely, what is meaning?
WHAT IS MEANING? (AND OTHER QUESTIONS THAT MAKE YOU WANT TO PUNCH SOMEONE IN THE FACE)
What is meaning? That may strike you as terribly navel-gazey and ultra-philosophical. And if that’s the case, I invite you to think about ham sandwiches for a moment, and just stick with me for a minute. Because it’s important.
What does it mean for something to mean something? As humans, we have a constant need to attach meaning to everything that happens in our lives.
My mom hugs me, that must mean that she loves me. My boss complimented me, that must mean I do good work. It’s going to be sunny tomorrow, that must mean I can wear my super-cool SpongeBob tank top to school.
Meaning is the association that we draw between two experiences or events in our minds. X happens, then Y happens, so we assume that means X causes Y. Z happens, and we get really bummed out and feel awful, therefore we assume that Z sucks.
Our brains invent meaning the way dogs shit — they do it gleefully and not even realizing that they’re ruining the carpet. Our brains invent meaning as a way to explain all the crazy shit that is going on in the world around us. This is important, as it helps us predict and control our lives.
But let’s be real: meaning is an arbitrary mental construct. Fifty people can watch the exact same event and draw fifty different meanings from said event. That’s why there’s so much arguing in politics. That’s why eyewitnesses are so unreliable in court. That’s why your friends are sometimes the biggest assholes — because that meaning you just shared, to them, meant something completely different.
Our brains slap together two different types of meaning:
Cause/Effect Meaning: You kick the ball, the ball moves. You tell your friend his hair is ugly, your friend slaps you in the face. You do X, and with reliable certainty, Y will result.
We all need Cause/Effect meaning to survive. It helps us predict the future and learn from the past. Cause/Effect meaning primarily involves the logical parts of our brain. Science, for instance, is the constant search of more and more Cause/Effect Meaning.
Better/Worse Meaning: Eating is better than starving. Making money is better than being broke. Sharing is better than stealing. Better/Worse meaning has to do with the nature of our values — what we perceive to be most important and useful in our lives.
Better/Worse meaning relies mostly on the emotional parts of our brains. Generally what makes us feel good is what we immediately assume to be “good” or “better.”
Both forms of meaning evolved in our brains to help us survive. For thousands of years, humans needed to remember where certain food could be found, how various animals would respond when hunted, how weather patterns change and how to read the terrain. They also needed to know what would gain them acceptance within their tribe, what would curry favor from friends and earn approval from that sexy guy/gal in the loin cloth over yonder.
So in that sense, meaning is nature’s tool for motivation. It’s how evolution made sure we got shit done. Meaning drives all of our actions. When there is great meaning attached to something, like our child is sick and starving, we will go to insane lengths to make things right. People will often even go as far as to give up their lives for some grand sense of meaning (see: religion, every war ever). Meaning is that effective at moving people.
Conversely, when we feel we lack meaning in our lives, when shit just doesn’t seem to matter, when there’s no clarity on how or why things happen to us, we do nothing. We sit on the couch and twiddle our thumbs and watch lame reruns while complaining on the internet about lame reruns.
But here’s the kicker (and I swear I’m going to get to the ham sandwich): meaning is a resource that we must cultivate in our lives.
Meaning is not something that exists outside of ourselves. It is not some cosmic universal truth waiting to be discovered. It is not some grand ‘eureka’ moment that will change our lives forever.
Meaning requires action. Meaning is something that we must continually find and nurture. Consistently.
Meaning is like the water of our psychological health. Without it, our hearts and minds will shrivel and die. And like water, meaning flows through us — what is important today is not what was important years ago; and what is important tomorrow will not be the same as what is important today. Meaning must be sought out and replenished frequently.
In a very real sense, the meaning of life is therefore to create meaning.
So how does one create meaning? Two ways:
Solve Problems. The bigger the problem, the more meaning one will feel. The more work you do towards that problem, also the more meaning you will feel. Solving problems basically means finding ways to make the world a slightly better place. Can be as simple fixing up your aging mother’s dilapidated house. Or as complex as working on the new great breakthrough in physics.
The point here is not to be picky. It’s easy, when we start thinking of how insignificant we are on a cosmic scale of the universe, to start thinking there’s no point in doing anything unless we’re going to save the world or something. This is just a distraction. There are tons of small, everyday problems going on around you that need your attention. Start giving it.
Help Others. This is the biggie. As humans, we’re wired to thrive on our relationships. Studies show that our overall well-being is deeply tied to the quality of our relationships, and the best way to build healthy relationships is through helping others. In fact, some studies have even found that giving stuff away makes us happier than giving stuff to ourselves. Go figure.
As such, it seems to be a “hack” in our brains that helping out other people gives us a greater sense of meaning and purpose. Just the fact you can say to yourself, “If I died, then someone is better off because I lived,” creates that sense of meaning that can propel you forward.
THE TRAP OF SETTING GOALS
A lot of people find meaning through setting goals for themselves. They want the corner office, the big car, the fancy-pants shoes. It gives them a reason to wake up in the morning, a reason to bust their ass at work. It gives them something that makes them feel important and something to look forward to every day.
But goals are a double-edged sword. You have to be careful.
Goals are good tools for building motivation. The problem is that, by themselves, they are arbitrary and empty.
Unless there’s a why behind the goal full of meaning, the goal itself will provide little long-term happiness or satisfaction.
Ever see star athletes flounder after retirement? Or a guy who finally made his millions become deeply miserable because he doesn’t know what else to do with his life?
Goals are dangerous because the meaning they provide when you’re working towards them is the meaning that is taken away once you achieve them.
This is why all the superficial stuff like make a billion dollars, or own a Rolls Royce, or get your face plastered on the cover of a magazine all lead to a type of happiness that is shallow and short-lived — because the meaning is shallow and short-lived.
There has to be a deeper reason for your goals. Otherwise, the goals themselves will be empty and worthless in the long-run.
Notice that it’s the athletes who aspire to be the best at their sport for some greater reason — to build a charity, to start a business, to transition into another career — who handle retirement the best. Notice it’s the millionaires who spent their life working towards a deeper cause that remain content once all of their goals are checked off the checklist.
But some goals don’t even have to be big and sexy.
Take a ham sandwich. I sat down to write this article hungry. That’s a problem in my life. And I promised myself I’d pump out this draft before going and making myself a sandwich. That gave this hour some extra meaning.
And you know what? Maybe my wife’s hungry and I can make her one too. You know, make the world a better place and all that shit while I’m at it.
So what’s the meaning of life? Well, for me, right now, it’s a ham sandwich. What will yours be?
Quote of the Times;
"Force is among the most simple-minded, and hence primitive and unrefined, reactions that we hairless apes resort to. And it is nothing less than sadly astonishing that some of the most prominent enemies of peaceful commerce and voluntary cooperation have become known as “Progressives.” “Progressives'” first and overriding instinct whenever they encounter some economic or social situation that they disapprove of is to forcibly push, pull, demand, and prohibit individuals who are going peacefully about their own business to behave in ways that “Progressives” have divined is best." - Boudreaux
Link of the Times;
https://angrystaffofficer.com/
Alesci?
WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED:
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never get pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.
*.*
While Bubba and Billy Bob were in the local Wal-Mart, they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle.
They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize.
Billy Bob won 1st place- a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra-long spaghetti.
Bubba won 6th prize- a toilet brush.
About a week or so had passed when the men met back at Wal-Mart. Bubba asked Billy Bob how he liked his prize, to which Billy Bob replied, "Great!, I love spaghetti!"
Billy Bob asked Bubba, "How 'bout you, how's the toilet brush?
"Not so good," replied Bubba, "I'm thinking 'bout switching back to paper
*.*
Syrian Refugees Relieved Not To Be Sent To Detroit
LANSING, Mich — Nearly 10,000 refugees arriving in the United States over the next 11 months were relieved to learn that they would not be sent to Detroit, sources report.
Michigan Governor Rick Snyder suspended efforts to relocate Syrians displaced by the country’s civil war earlier this week “until a more reasonable and humane solution” could be found.
“They have already been through so much,” Snyder told the Detroit Free Press. “To be sent to another city in ruins with a corrupt and ineffectual government seems like a cruel joke.”
The city, while boasting the title “Most Dangerous City in America” for three years running, is still statistically safer than Syria. However, refugees have their heart set on “The American Dream” and will settle for nothing less.
“At first I was excited to learn about Detroit’s ‘lions’ and ‘tigers,'” said Eid Al Fayez from his tent in Turkey’s Nizip Refugee Camp, who reportedly ate the Al-Qarya al-Shama Zoo’s lions to survive. “But then I found out they were perennially underachieving sports teams.”
“If I wanted to be disappointed every year then I would have stayed in Syria and waited for the developed world to come to our rescue,” he added.
While there is hope for incoming refugees, there are still concerns for the nearly 20 Syrians who arrived in Detroit before Snyder suspended the relocation effort. According to the US Department of State’s Bureau of Population, Refugees, and Migration (PRM), there is no reason to worry. PRM indicated nearly all of the registered refugees reported in interviews that their situation is “mostly better, kind of,” than living in a war zone.
“I’ll admit, when I looked down from the airplane as we were arriving to Detroit, I thought someone played a joke and flew us back to Raqqa,” Suheimat admitted.
*.*
Little Johnny's father took his small son to the zoo.
They were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo. Johnny's father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and little Johnny was taking it all in with a serious expression.
"Dad," Johnny said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up..."
"Yes, son?" Little Johnny's father said expectantly.
Johnny continued, "...what bus should I take home?"
*.*
BERLIN (Reuters) - A 53-year-old German woman who was driving her dead mother across country to save on mortuary transportation costs was fined by police for disturbing a dead person's peace.
"You're not allowed to transport dead people in your private car," said Ralf Schomisch, police spokesman in Koblenz, where the car was found after a tip-off from a mortuary.
"The corpse was on the back seat without a seat belt, which is clearly dangerous. These kinds of safety oversights result in fatalities, as is evident in this case."
Only in Germany....
Issue of the Times;
CNN’s Clinton Cash ‘Fact-Check’ Ends in Embarrassment for Cristina Alesci and Laurie Frankel by Ezra Dulis
CNN Money’s “fact-checkers” Cristina Alesci and Laurie Frankel ended up with egg on their faces on Wednesday after they rated as “false” a well-established and proven Clinton Cash fact involving Hillary Clinton’s State Dept. approving the transfer of 20 percent of U.S. uranium to the Russian government, as nine investors in the deal funneled $145 million to the Clinton Foundation.
Under the guise of “fact-checking” Donald Trump’s Wednesday speech, Alesci and Frankel purported to verify whether “Clinton’s State Department approved the transfer of 20% of America’s uranium holdings to Russia while nine investors in the deal funneled $145 million to the Clinton Foundation.”
Alesci (pictured, right) and Frankel (left) rate the claim as “false” and allege “there’s no hard evidence of a quid pro quo.” The CNN Money “reporters” also conceded that “CNN several times has asked the Clinton Foundation to confirm whether the nine investors who benefited from the deal also contributed to the foundation, but the foundation has yet to respond.”
Why Alesci and Frankel couldn’t confirm the $145 million in Clinton Foundation donations for themselves is curious. Indeed, in a 4,000-word front page story written over a year ago, the New York Times’ Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative journalist Jo Becker and Mike McIntire verified the Clinton Cash uranium revelation in stunning detail, including charts and graphs laying out the flow of millions of dollars from the nine investors in the uranium deal who flowed $145 million to Hillary’s family foundation. Since Alesci and Frankel appear unable to perform basic journalistic research, here are the names and amounts they are still waiting on the Clinton Foundation to get back to them on:
Frank Giustra, Canadian mining magnate who created a company that later merged with UraniumOne, gave $31.3 million and a pledge for $100 million to the Clinton Foundation
Frank Holmes, a shareholder in the deal who donated between $250,000 and $500,000 (the Clinton Foundation doesn’t report exact amounts, only in ranges) and is a Clinton Foundation adviser
Neil Woodyer, Frank Giustra’s colleague who founded Endeavor Financial and pledged $500,000 as well as promises of “ongoing financial support”
Robert Disbrow, a Haywood Securities broker, the firm that provided “$58 million in capital to float shares of UrAsia’s private placement,” gave the Clinton’s family foundation between $1 and $5 million, according to Clinton Cash
Paul Reynolds, a Canaccord Capital Inc., executive who donated between $1 million and $5 million. “The UrAsia deal was the largest in Canaccord’s history,” reports Schweizer
Robert Cross, a major shareholder who serves as UrAsia Energy Director who pledged portions of his future income to the Clinton Foundation
Egizio Blanchini, “the Capital Markets vice chair and Global cohead of BMO’s Global Metals and Mining group, had also been an underwriter on the mining deals. BMO paid $600,000 for two tables at the CGS-GI’s March 2008 benefit”
Sergei Kurzin, the Russian rainmaker involved in the Kazakhstan uranium deal and a shareholder in UrAsia Energy, also pledged $1 million to the Foundation
Uranium One chairman Ian Telfer committed $2.35 million
Alesci and Frankel claim there’s “no hard evidence of a quid pro quo.” Naturally, they fail to note that the legal standard for conflicts of interest and corruption do not require a quid pro quo. Nor do they note that Hillary Clinton deleted and destroyed over 30,000 emails housed on her secret server—the obvious location of any so-called “smoking guns.”
Still, the CNN Money “fact-checkers” correctly note that “the State Department was one of several agencies that needed to sign off on the transaction.” Indeed, the Committee on Foreign Investments in the United States (CFIUS) has nine members, one of which is the State Dept. Yet through willful ignorance or an unusual lack of journalistic curiosity, Alesci and Frankel didn’t think to ask the obvious: which of the eight other agency heads needed to approve the deal were receiving $145 million to their family’s charity at the time of such a pivotal decision? And did Hillary Clinton’s State Department report the glaring conflict of interest before granting its approval of handing over 20 percent of American uranium to Putin’s Russia? Why didn’t Hillary Clinton recuse her agency from voting, knowing that her charity was receiving $145 million from nine investors in the deal?
Those questions apparently did not occur to Cristina Alesci and Laurie Frankel.
Also, in addition to the $145 million being funneled to the Clinton Foundation before the CFIUS approval, why was a Kremlin-backed bank bankrolling a $500,000 speech in Moscow for Bill Clinton while his wife led the Russian reset? As even the progressive New Yorker magazine put it, “But there is a bigger question: Why was Bill Clinton taking any money from a bank linked to the Kremlin while his wife was Secretary of State?” Shockingly, CNN Money fact-checkers Alesci and Frankel make no mention of the Kremlin-backed $500,000 Clinton speaking payment.
Nor did CNN’s crack “fact-checkers” mention that the Clinton Foundation received $2.35 million in hidden, undisclosed donations from Ian Telfer, the former head of the Russian government’s uranium company—another fact that multiple liberal news outlets have confirmed.
Indeed, as Bloomberg, Washington Post, New Yorker, ABC News, New York Times, and myriad other Establishment media have all confirmed, Clinton Cash’s most explosive revelations are accurate.
Apparently, CNN’s Cristina Alesci and Laurie Frankel are among the last to know.
Quote of the Times;
“Everything we do affects other people.”
Link of the Times;
http://www.infowars.com/report-three-syrian-refugees-rape-little-girl-at-knifepoint-in-idaho/
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never get pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.
*.*
While Bubba and Billy Bob were in the local Wal-Mart, they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle.
They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize.
Billy Bob won 1st place- a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra-long spaghetti.
Bubba won 6th prize- a toilet brush.
About a week or so had passed when the men met back at Wal-Mart. Bubba asked Billy Bob how he liked his prize, to which Billy Bob replied, "Great!, I love spaghetti!"
Billy Bob asked Bubba, "How 'bout you, how's the toilet brush?
"Not so good," replied Bubba, "I'm thinking 'bout switching back to paper
*.*
Syrian Refugees Relieved Not To Be Sent To Detroit
LANSING, Mich — Nearly 10,000 refugees arriving in the United States over the next 11 months were relieved to learn that they would not be sent to Detroit, sources report.
Michigan Governor Rick Snyder suspended efforts to relocate Syrians displaced by the country’s civil war earlier this week “until a more reasonable and humane solution” could be found.
“They have already been through so much,” Snyder told the Detroit Free Press. “To be sent to another city in ruins with a corrupt and ineffectual government seems like a cruel joke.”
The city, while boasting the title “Most Dangerous City in America” for three years running, is still statistically safer than Syria. However, refugees have their heart set on “The American Dream” and will settle for nothing less.
“At first I was excited to learn about Detroit’s ‘lions’ and ‘tigers,'” said Eid Al Fayez from his tent in Turkey’s Nizip Refugee Camp, who reportedly ate the Al-Qarya al-Shama Zoo’s lions to survive. “But then I found out they were perennially underachieving sports teams.”
“If I wanted to be disappointed every year then I would have stayed in Syria and waited for the developed world to come to our rescue,” he added.
While there is hope for incoming refugees, there are still concerns for the nearly 20 Syrians who arrived in Detroit before Snyder suspended the relocation effort. According to the US Department of State’s Bureau of Population, Refugees, and Migration (PRM), there is no reason to worry. PRM indicated nearly all of the registered refugees reported in interviews that their situation is “mostly better, kind of,” than living in a war zone.
“I’ll admit, when I looked down from the airplane as we were arriving to Detroit, I thought someone played a joke and flew us back to Raqqa,” Suheimat admitted.
*.*
Little Johnny's father took his small son to the zoo.
They were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo. Johnny's father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and little Johnny was taking it all in with a serious expression.
"Dad," Johnny said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up..."
"Yes, son?" Little Johnny's father said expectantly.
Johnny continued, "...what bus should I take home?"
*.*
BERLIN (Reuters) - A 53-year-old German woman who was driving her dead mother across country to save on mortuary transportation costs was fined by police for disturbing a dead person's peace.
"You're not allowed to transport dead people in your private car," said Ralf Schomisch, police spokesman in Koblenz, where the car was found after a tip-off from a mortuary.
"The corpse was on the back seat without a seat belt, which is clearly dangerous. These kinds of safety oversights result in fatalities, as is evident in this case."
Only in Germany....
Issue of the Times;
CNN’s Clinton Cash ‘Fact-Check’ Ends in Embarrassment for Cristina Alesci and Laurie Frankel by Ezra Dulis
CNN Money’s “fact-checkers” Cristina Alesci and Laurie Frankel ended up with egg on their faces on Wednesday after they rated as “false” a well-established and proven Clinton Cash fact involving Hillary Clinton’s State Dept. approving the transfer of 20 percent of U.S. uranium to the Russian government, as nine investors in the deal funneled $145 million to the Clinton Foundation.
Under the guise of “fact-checking” Donald Trump’s Wednesday speech, Alesci and Frankel purported to verify whether “Clinton’s State Department approved the transfer of 20% of America’s uranium holdings to Russia while nine investors in the deal funneled $145 million to the Clinton Foundation.”
Alesci (pictured, right) and Frankel (left) rate the claim as “false” and allege “there’s no hard evidence of a quid pro quo.” The CNN Money “reporters” also conceded that “CNN several times has asked the Clinton Foundation to confirm whether the nine investors who benefited from the deal also contributed to the foundation, but the foundation has yet to respond.”
Why Alesci and Frankel couldn’t confirm the $145 million in Clinton Foundation donations for themselves is curious. Indeed, in a 4,000-word front page story written over a year ago, the New York Times’ Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative journalist Jo Becker and Mike McIntire verified the Clinton Cash uranium revelation in stunning detail, including charts and graphs laying out the flow of millions of dollars from the nine investors in the uranium deal who flowed $145 million to Hillary’s family foundation. Since Alesci and Frankel appear unable to perform basic journalistic research, here are the names and amounts they are still waiting on the Clinton Foundation to get back to them on:
Frank Giustra, Canadian mining magnate who created a company that later merged with UraniumOne, gave $31.3 million and a pledge for $100 million to the Clinton Foundation
Frank Holmes, a shareholder in the deal who donated between $250,000 and $500,000 (the Clinton Foundation doesn’t report exact amounts, only in ranges) and is a Clinton Foundation adviser
Neil Woodyer, Frank Giustra’s colleague who founded Endeavor Financial and pledged $500,000 as well as promises of “ongoing financial support”
Robert Disbrow, a Haywood Securities broker, the firm that provided “$58 million in capital to float shares of UrAsia’s private placement,” gave the Clinton’s family foundation between $1 and $5 million, according to Clinton Cash
Paul Reynolds, a Canaccord Capital Inc., executive who donated between $1 million and $5 million. “The UrAsia deal was the largest in Canaccord’s history,” reports Schweizer
Robert Cross, a major shareholder who serves as UrAsia Energy Director who pledged portions of his future income to the Clinton Foundation
Egizio Blanchini, “the Capital Markets vice chair and Global cohead of BMO’s Global Metals and Mining group, had also been an underwriter on the mining deals. BMO paid $600,000 for two tables at the CGS-GI’s March 2008 benefit”
Sergei Kurzin, the Russian rainmaker involved in the Kazakhstan uranium deal and a shareholder in UrAsia Energy, also pledged $1 million to the Foundation
Uranium One chairman Ian Telfer committed $2.35 million
Alesci and Frankel claim there’s “no hard evidence of a quid pro quo.” Naturally, they fail to note that the legal standard for conflicts of interest and corruption do not require a quid pro quo. Nor do they note that Hillary Clinton deleted and destroyed over 30,000 emails housed on her secret server—the obvious location of any so-called “smoking guns.”
Still, the CNN Money “fact-checkers” correctly note that “the State Department was one of several agencies that needed to sign off on the transaction.” Indeed, the Committee on Foreign Investments in the United States (CFIUS) has nine members, one of which is the State Dept. Yet through willful ignorance or an unusual lack of journalistic curiosity, Alesci and Frankel didn’t think to ask the obvious: which of the eight other agency heads needed to approve the deal were receiving $145 million to their family’s charity at the time of such a pivotal decision? And did Hillary Clinton’s State Department report the glaring conflict of interest before granting its approval of handing over 20 percent of American uranium to Putin’s Russia? Why didn’t Hillary Clinton recuse her agency from voting, knowing that her charity was receiving $145 million from nine investors in the deal?
Those questions apparently did not occur to Cristina Alesci and Laurie Frankel.
Also, in addition to the $145 million being funneled to the Clinton Foundation before the CFIUS approval, why was a Kremlin-backed bank bankrolling a $500,000 speech in Moscow for Bill Clinton while his wife led the Russian reset? As even the progressive New Yorker magazine put it, “But there is a bigger question: Why was Bill Clinton taking any money from a bank linked to the Kremlin while his wife was Secretary of State?” Shockingly, CNN Money fact-checkers Alesci and Frankel make no mention of the Kremlin-backed $500,000 Clinton speaking payment.
Nor did CNN’s crack “fact-checkers” mention that the Clinton Foundation received $2.35 million in hidden, undisclosed donations from Ian Telfer, the former head of the Russian government’s uranium company—another fact that multiple liberal news outlets have confirmed.
Indeed, as Bloomberg, Washington Post, New Yorker, ABC News, New York Times, and myriad other Establishment media have all confirmed, Clinton Cash’s most explosive revelations are accurate.
Apparently, CNN’s Cristina Alesci and Laurie Frankel are among the last to know.
Quote of the Times;
“Everything we do affects other people.”
Link of the Times;
http://www.infowars.com/report-three-syrian-refugees-rape-little-girl-at-knifepoint-in-idaho/
Four?
A survey says the cost of hiring a prostitute has dropped 23% in the past 8 years. I'm trying to think of a phrase other than "hard times."
The Playstation 4 is the top video game platform in the U.S.. At least that's according to a poll among gamers who would put down their controllers long enough to do a survey.
Dollar General has offered to buy Family Dollar for $78.50 a share, which is more than Dollar Tree's bid. My biggest fear is that one of these deals will create a monopoly and they'll jack prices up to $1.01!
OK, so I took the ice-bucket challenge. Now I'm freezing cold and my champagne's getting warm!
The Princeton Review says that Vanderbilt University has the happiest students in the country. They obviously aren't the football season ticket holder students.
A study says that 36% of all Americans haven't saved anything for when they retire. You could always go with my plan: I've saved enough to rent a moving van so I can move in with my kids.
A new survey claims that Americans are only taking half of their vacation time. Who are these people?
*.*
The "Greatest Boxer of All Time"
A lot of people have this title confused.
The Greatest Boxer of All Time didn't die recently...he died 47 years ago.
He didn't have 5 losses, he had none (49-0).
He didn't have 37 Knock Outs he had 43 (88%).
He didn't dodge the draft.
He wasn't a race baiter and sure didn't convert to Islam.
He was a local kid named Rocky Marciano aka "The Brockton Blockbuster" .
Don't let mainstream media idolize false prophets.
When Rocky was asked on TV if he could have knocked out Ali when Ali was in his prime,
his response was oh so classical:
"I’d be conceited if I said I could've, but I'd be a liar if I said I couldn't"
*.*
Oneliners:
I wonder how many dollars bills I've touched that have been used in a strip club
It's weird how much the Charmin bears love wiping their ass.
The difference between a Million and a Billion is almost a Billion.
CPR is the human version of blowing into a video game cartridge hoping it'll work again.
My goal was to lose 10 pounds this year... 20 pounds to go!
English is weird: flexible and "in"flexible are opposites; flammable and "in"flammable are synonyms; But continent and "in"continent couldn't have less to do with each other if you tried.
Door handles on the inside of restrooms really defeat the purpose of washing your hands.
*.*
Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby.
"Kneeling is definitely best," claimed one.
"No," another contended. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven."
"You're both wrong," the third insisted. "The most effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor."
The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas, " he interrupted, "the best prayin' I ever did was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole."
*.*
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU PROBABLY NEED TO DROP A FEW POUNDS
1. The floor creaks when you walk on it. It's a cement floor.
2. Local clothing store created a "Big and You" section
3. You've actually worn out two sets of silverware
4. Your grocery store has a day each month in your honor
5. That's the third extension on your belt
Issue of the Times;
The Four Stages of Life by Mark Manson
Life is a bitch. Then you die. So while staring at my navel the other day, I decided that that bitch happens in four stages. Here they are.
STAGE ONE: MIMICRY
We are born helpless. We can’t walk, can’t talk, can’t feed ourselves, can’t even do our own damn taxes.
As children, the way we’re wired to learn is by watching and mimicking others. First we learn to do physical skills like walk and talk. Then we develop social skills by watching and mimicking our peers around us. Then, finally, in late childhood, we learn to adapt to our culture by observing the rules and norms around us and trying to behave in such a way that is generally considered acceptable by society.
The goal of Stage One is to teach us how to function within society so that we can be autonomous, self-sufficient adults. The idea is that the adults in the community around us help us to reach this point through supporting our ability to make decisions and take action ourselves.
But some adults and community members around us suck. They punish us for our independence. They don’t support our decisions. And therefore we don’t develop autonomy. We get stuck in Stage One, endlessly mimicking those around us, endlessly attempting to please all so that we might not be judged.
In a “normal” healthy individual, Stage One will last until late adolescence and early adulthood.3 For some people, it may last further into adulthood. A select few wake up one day at age 45 realizing they’ve never actually lived for themselves and wonder where the hell the years went.
This is Stage One. The mimicry. The constant search for approval and validation. The absence of independent thought and personal values.
We must be aware of the standards and expectations of those around us. But we must also become strong enough to act in spite of those standards and expectations when we feel it is necessary. We must develop the ability to act by ourselves and for ourselves.
STAGE TWO: SELF-DISCOVERY
In Stage One, we learn to fit in with the people and culture around us. Stage Two is about learning what makes us different from the people and culture around us. Stage Two requires us to begin making decisions for ourselves, to test ourselves, and to understand ourselves and what makes us unique.
Stage Two involves a lot of trial-and-error and experimentation. We experiment with living in new places, hanging out with new people, imbibing new substances, and playing with new people’s orifices.
In my Stage Two, I ran off and visited fifty-something countries. My brother’s Stage Two was diving headfirst into the political system in Washington DC. Everyone’s Stage Two is slightly different because every one of us is slightly different.
Stage Two is a process of self-discovery. We try things. Some of them go well. Some of them don’t. The goal is to stick with the ones that go well and move on.
Man sitting on cliff looking out over clouds
Stage Two lasts until we begin to run up against our own limitations. This doesn’t sit well with many people. But despite what Oprah and Deepak Chopra may tell you, discovering your own limitations is a good and healthy thing.
You’re just going to be bad at some things, no matter how hard you try. And you need to know what they are. I am not genetically inclined to ever excel at anything athletic whatsoever. It sucked for me to learn that, but I did. I’m also about as capable of feeding myself as an infant drooling applesauce all over the floor. That was important to find out as well. We all must learn what we suck at. And the earlier in our life that we learn it, the better.
So we’re just bad at some things. Then there are other things that are great for a while, but begin to have diminishing returns after a few years. Traveling the world is one example. Sexing a ton of people is another. Drinking on a Tuesday night is a third. There are many more. Trust me.
Your limitations are important because you must eventually come to the realization that your time on this planet is limited and you should therefore spend it on things that matter most. That means realizing that just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should do it. That means realizing that just because you like certain people doesn’t mean you should be with them. That means realizing that there are opportunity costs to everything and that you can’t have it all.
There are some people who never allow themselves to feel limitations — either because they refuse to admit their failures, or because they delude themselves into believing that their limitations don’t exist. These people get stuck in Stage Two.
These are the “serial entrepreneurs” who are 38 and living with mom and still haven’t made any money after 15 years of trying. These are the “aspiring actors” who are still waiting tables and haven’t done an audition in two years. These are the people who can’t settle into a long-term relationship because they always have a gnawing feeling that there’s someone better around the corner. These are the people who brush all of their failings aside as “releasing” negativity into the universe or “purging” their baggage from their lives.
At some point we all must admit the inevitable: life is short, not all of our dreams can come true, so we should carefully pick and choose what we have the best shot at and commit to it.
But people stuck in Stage Two spend most of their time convincing themselves of the opposite. That they are limitless. That they can overcome all. That their life is that of non-stop growth and ascendance in the world, while everyone else can clearly see that they are merely running in place.
In healthy individuals, Stage Two begins in mid- to late-adolescence and lasts into a person’s mid-20s to mid-30s.4 People who stay in Stage Two beyond that are popularly referred to as those with “Peter Pan Syndrome” — the eternal adolescents, always discovering themselves, but finding nothing.
STAGE THREE: COMMITMENT
Once you’ve pushed your own boundaries and either found your limitations (i.e., athletics, the culinary arts) or found the diminishing returns of certain activities (i.e., partying, video games, masturbation) then you are left with what’s both a) actually important to you, and b) what you’re not terrible at. Now it’s time to make your dent in the world.
Stage Three is the great consolidation of one’s life. Out go the friends who are draining you and holding you back. Out go the activities and hobbies that are a mindless waste of time. Out go the old dreams that are clearly not coming true anytime soon.
Then you double down on what you’re best at and what is best to you. You double down on the most important relationships in your life. You double down on a single mission in life, whether that’s to work on the world’s energy crisis or to be a bitching digital artist or to become an expert in brains or have a bunch of snotty, drooling children. Whatever it is, Stage Three is when you get it done.
Stage Three is all about maximizing your own potential in this life. It’s all about building your legacy. What will you leave behind when you’re gone? What will people remember you by? Whether that’s a breakthrough study or an amazing new product or an adoring family, Stage Three is about leaving the world a little bit different than the way you found it.
Stage Three ends when a combination of two things happen: 1) you feel as though there’s not much else you are able to accomplish, and 2) you get old and tired and find that you would rather sip martinis and do crossword puzzles all day.
In “normal” individuals, Stage Three generally lasts from around 30-ish-years-old until one reaches retirement age.
People who get lodged in Stage Three often do so because they don’t know how to let go of their ambition and constant desire for more. This inability to let go of the power and influence they crave counteracts the natural calming effects of time and they will often remain driven and hungry well into their 70s and 80s.
STAGE FOUR: LEGACY
People arrive into Stage Four having spent somewhere around half a century investing themselves in what they believed was meaningful and important. They did great things, worked hard, earned everything they have, maybe started a family or a charity or a political or cultural revolution or two, and now they’re done. They’ve reached the age where their energy and circumstances no longer allow them to pursue their purpose any further.
The goal of Stage Four then becomes not to create a legacy as much as simply making sure that legacy lasts beyond one’s death.
This could be something as simple as supporting and advising their children and living vicariously through them. It could mean passing on their projects and work to a protégé or apprentice. It could also mean becoming more politically active to maintain their values in a society that they no longer recognize.
Stage Four is important psychologically because it makes the ever-growing reality of one’s own mortality more bearable. As humans, we have a deep need to feel as though our lives mean something. This meaning we constantly search for is literally our only psychological defense against the incomprehensibility of this life and the inevitability of our own death.6 To lose that meaning, or to watch it slip away, or to slowly feel as though the world has left you behind, is to stare oblivion in the face and let it consume you willingly.
WHAT’S THE POINT?
Developing through each subsequent stage of life grants us greater control over our happiness and well-being.
In Stage One, a person is wholly dependent on other people’s actions and approval to be happy. This is a horrible strategy because other people are unpredictable and unreliable.
In Stage Two, one becomes reliant on oneself, but they’re still reliant on external success to be happy — making money, accolades, victory, conquests, etc. These are more controllable than other people, but they are still mostly unpredictable in the long-run.
Stage Three relies on a handful of relationships and endeavors that proved themselves resilient and worthwhile through Stage Two. These are more reliable. And finally, Stage Four requires we only hold on to what we’ve already accomplished as long as possible.
At each subsequent stage, happiness becomes based more on internal, controllable values and less on the externalities of the ever-changing outside world.
INTER-STAGE CONFLICT
Later stages don’t replace previous stages. They transcend them. Stage Two people still care about social approval. They just care about something more than social approval. Stage 3 people still care about testing their limits. They just care more about the commitments they’ve made.
Each stage represents a reshuffling of one’s life priorities. It’s for this reason that when one transitions from one stage to another, one will often experience a fallout in one’s friendships and relationships. If you were Stage Two and all of your friends were Stage Two, and suddenly you settle down, commit and get to work on Stage Three, yet your friends are still Stage Two, there will be a fundamental disconnect between your values and theirs that will be difficult to overcome.
Generally speaking, people project their own stage onto everyone else around them. People at Stage One will judge others by their ability to achieve social approval. People at Stage Two will judge others by their ability to push their own boundaries and try new things. People at Stage Three will judge others based on their commitments and what they’re able to achieve. People at Stage Four judge others based on what they stand for and what they’ve chosen to live for.
THE VALUE OF TRAUMA
Self-development is often portrayed as a rosy, flowery progression from dumbass to enlightenment that involves a lot of joy, prancing in fields of daisies, and high-fiving two thousand people at a seminar you paid way too much to be at.
But the truth is that transitions between the life stages are usually triggered by trauma or an extreme negative event in one’s life. A near-death experience. A divorce. A failed friendship or a death of a loved one.
Trauma causes us to step back and re-evaluate our deepest motivations and decisions. It allows us to reflect on whether our strategies to pursue happiness are actually working well or not.
WHAT GETS US STUCK
The same thing gets us stuck at every stage: a sense of personal inadequacy.
People get stuck at Stage One because they always feel as though they are somehow flawed and different from others, so they put all of their effort into conforming into what those around them would like to see. No matter how much they do, they feel as though it is never enough.
Stage Two people get stuck because they feel as though they should always be doing more, doing something better, doing something new and exciting, improving at something. But no matter how much they do, they feel as though it is never enough.
Stage Three people get stuck because they feel as though they have not generated enough meaningful influence in the world, that they make a greater impact in the specific areas that they have committed themselves to. But no matter how much they do, they feel as though it is never enough.
One could even argue that Stage Four people feel stuck because they feel insecure that their legacy will not last or make any significant impact on the future generations. They cling to it and hold onto it and promote it with every last gasping breath. But they never feel as though it is enough.
The solution at each stage is then backwards. To move beyond Stage One, you must accept that you will never be enough for everybody all the time, and therefore you must make decisions for yourself.
To move beyond Stage Two, you must accept that you will never be capable of accomplishing everything you can dream and desire, and therefore you must zero in on what matters most and commit to it.
To move beyond Stage Three, you must realize that time and energy are limited, and therefore you must refocus your attention to helping others take over the meaningful projects you began.
To move beyond Stage Four, you must realize that change is inevitable, and that the influence of one person, no matter how great, no matter how powerful, no matter how meaningful, will eventually dissipate too.
Quote of the Times;
“Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” – C.S. Lewis
Link of the Times;
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/honey/bmnlcjabgnpnenekpadlanbbkooimhnj?hl=en-US
The Playstation 4 is the top video game platform in the U.S.. At least that's according to a poll among gamers who would put down their controllers long enough to do a survey.
Dollar General has offered to buy Family Dollar for $78.50 a share, which is more than Dollar Tree's bid. My biggest fear is that one of these deals will create a monopoly and they'll jack prices up to $1.01!
OK, so I took the ice-bucket challenge. Now I'm freezing cold and my champagne's getting warm!
The Princeton Review says that Vanderbilt University has the happiest students in the country. They obviously aren't the football season ticket holder students.
A study says that 36% of all Americans haven't saved anything for when they retire. You could always go with my plan: I've saved enough to rent a moving van so I can move in with my kids.
A new survey claims that Americans are only taking half of their vacation time. Who are these people?
*.*
The "Greatest Boxer of All Time"
A lot of people have this title confused.
The Greatest Boxer of All Time didn't die recently...he died 47 years ago.
He didn't have 5 losses, he had none (49-0).
He didn't have 37 Knock Outs he had 43 (88%).
He didn't dodge the draft.
He wasn't a race baiter and sure didn't convert to Islam.
He was a local kid named Rocky Marciano aka "The Brockton Blockbuster" .
Don't let mainstream media idolize false prophets.
When Rocky was asked on TV if he could have knocked out Ali when Ali was in his prime,
his response was oh so classical:
"I’d be conceited if I said I could've, but I'd be a liar if I said I couldn't"
*.*
Oneliners:
I wonder how many dollars bills I've touched that have been used in a strip club
It's weird how much the Charmin bears love wiping their ass.
The difference between a Million and a Billion is almost a Billion.
CPR is the human version of blowing into a video game cartridge hoping it'll work again.
My goal was to lose 10 pounds this year... 20 pounds to go!
English is weird: flexible and "in"flexible are opposites; flammable and "in"flammable are synonyms; But continent and "in"continent couldn't have less to do with each other if you tried.
Door handles on the inside of restrooms really defeat the purpose of washing your hands.
*.*
Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby.
"Kneeling is definitely best," claimed one.
"No," another contended. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven."
"You're both wrong," the third insisted. "The most effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor."
The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas, " he interrupted, "the best prayin' I ever did was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole."
*.*
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU PROBABLY NEED TO DROP A FEW POUNDS
1. The floor creaks when you walk on it. It's a cement floor.
2. Local clothing store created a "Big and You" section
3. You've actually worn out two sets of silverware
4. Your grocery store has a day each month in your honor
5. That's the third extension on your belt
Issue of the Times;
The Four Stages of Life by Mark Manson
Life is a bitch. Then you die. So while staring at my navel the other day, I decided that that bitch happens in four stages. Here they are.
STAGE ONE: MIMICRY
We are born helpless. We can’t walk, can’t talk, can’t feed ourselves, can’t even do our own damn taxes.
As children, the way we’re wired to learn is by watching and mimicking others. First we learn to do physical skills like walk and talk. Then we develop social skills by watching and mimicking our peers around us. Then, finally, in late childhood, we learn to adapt to our culture by observing the rules and norms around us and trying to behave in such a way that is generally considered acceptable by society.
The goal of Stage One is to teach us how to function within society so that we can be autonomous, self-sufficient adults. The idea is that the adults in the community around us help us to reach this point through supporting our ability to make decisions and take action ourselves.
But some adults and community members around us suck. They punish us for our independence. They don’t support our decisions. And therefore we don’t develop autonomy. We get stuck in Stage One, endlessly mimicking those around us, endlessly attempting to please all so that we might not be judged.
In a “normal” healthy individual, Stage One will last until late adolescence and early adulthood.3 For some people, it may last further into adulthood. A select few wake up one day at age 45 realizing they’ve never actually lived for themselves and wonder where the hell the years went.
This is Stage One. The mimicry. The constant search for approval and validation. The absence of independent thought and personal values.
We must be aware of the standards and expectations of those around us. But we must also become strong enough to act in spite of those standards and expectations when we feel it is necessary. We must develop the ability to act by ourselves and for ourselves.
STAGE TWO: SELF-DISCOVERY
In Stage One, we learn to fit in with the people and culture around us. Stage Two is about learning what makes us different from the people and culture around us. Stage Two requires us to begin making decisions for ourselves, to test ourselves, and to understand ourselves and what makes us unique.
Stage Two involves a lot of trial-and-error and experimentation. We experiment with living in new places, hanging out with new people, imbibing new substances, and playing with new people’s orifices.
In my Stage Two, I ran off and visited fifty-something countries. My brother’s Stage Two was diving headfirst into the political system in Washington DC. Everyone’s Stage Two is slightly different because every one of us is slightly different.
Stage Two is a process of self-discovery. We try things. Some of them go well. Some of them don’t. The goal is to stick with the ones that go well and move on.
Man sitting on cliff looking out over clouds
Stage Two lasts until we begin to run up against our own limitations. This doesn’t sit well with many people. But despite what Oprah and Deepak Chopra may tell you, discovering your own limitations is a good and healthy thing.
You’re just going to be bad at some things, no matter how hard you try. And you need to know what they are. I am not genetically inclined to ever excel at anything athletic whatsoever. It sucked for me to learn that, but I did. I’m also about as capable of feeding myself as an infant drooling applesauce all over the floor. That was important to find out as well. We all must learn what we suck at. And the earlier in our life that we learn it, the better.
So we’re just bad at some things. Then there are other things that are great for a while, but begin to have diminishing returns after a few years. Traveling the world is one example. Sexing a ton of people is another. Drinking on a Tuesday night is a third. There are many more. Trust me.
Your limitations are important because you must eventually come to the realization that your time on this planet is limited and you should therefore spend it on things that matter most. That means realizing that just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should do it. That means realizing that just because you like certain people doesn’t mean you should be with them. That means realizing that there are opportunity costs to everything and that you can’t have it all.
There are some people who never allow themselves to feel limitations — either because they refuse to admit their failures, or because they delude themselves into believing that their limitations don’t exist. These people get stuck in Stage Two.
These are the “serial entrepreneurs” who are 38 and living with mom and still haven’t made any money after 15 years of trying. These are the “aspiring actors” who are still waiting tables and haven’t done an audition in two years. These are the people who can’t settle into a long-term relationship because they always have a gnawing feeling that there’s someone better around the corner. These are the people who brush all of their failings aside as “releasing” negativity into the universe or “purging” their baggage from their lives.
At some point we all must admit the inevitable: life is short, not all of our dreams can come true, so we should carefully pick and choose what we have the best shot at and commit to it.
But people stuck in Stage Two spend most of their time convincing themselves of the opposite. That they are limitless. That they can overcome all. That their life is that of non-stop growth and ascendance in the world, while everyone else can clearly see that they are merely running in place.
In healthy individuals, Stage Two begins in mid- to late-adolescence and lasts into a person’s mid-20s to mid-30s.4 People who stay in Stage Two beyond that are popularly referred to as those with “Peter Pan Syndrome” — the eternal adolescents, always discovering themselves, but finding nothing.
STAGE THREE: COMMITMENT
Once you’ve pushed your own boundaries and either found your limitations (i.e., athletics, the culinary arts) or found the diminishing returns of certain activities (i.e., partying, video games, masturbation) then you are left with what’s both a) actually important to you, and b) what you’re not terrible at. Now it’s time to make your dent in the world.
Stage Three is the great consolidation of one’s life. Out go the friends who are draining you and holding you back. Out go the activities and hobbies that are a mindless waste of time. Out go the old dreams that are clearly not coming true anytime soon.
Then you double down on what you’re best at and what is best to you. You double down on the most important relationships in your life. You double down on a single mission in life, whether that’s to work on the world’s energy crisis or to be a bitching digital artist or to become an expert in brains or have a bunch of snotty, drooling children. Whatever it is, Stage Three is when you get it done.
Stage Three is all about maximizing your own potential in this life. It’s all about building your legacy. What will you leave behind when you’re gone? What will people remember you by? Whether that’s a breakthrough study or an amazing new product or an adoring family, Stage Three is about leaving the world a little bit different than the way you found it.
Stage Three ends when a combination of two things happen: 1) you feel as though there’s not much else you are able to accomplish, and 2) you get old and tired and find that you would rather sip martinis and do crossword puzzles all day.
In “normal” individuals, Stage Three generally lasts from around 30-ish-years-old until one reaches retirement age.
People who get lodged in Stage Three often do so because they don’t know how to let go of their ambition and constant desire for more. This inability to let go of the power and influence they crave counteracts the natural calming effects of time and they will often remain driven and hungry well into their 70s and 80s.
STAGE FOUR: LEGACY
People arrive into Stage Four having spent somewhere around half a century investing themselves in what they believed was meaningful and important. They did great things, worked hard, earned everything they have, maybe started a family or a charity or a political or cultural revolution or two, and now they’re done. They’ve reached the age where their energy and circumstances no longer allow them to pursue their purpose any further.
The goal of Stage Four then becomes not to create a legacy as much as simply making sure that legacy lasts beyond one’s death.
This could be something as simple as supporting and advising their children and living vicariously through them. It could mean passing on their projects and work to a protégé or apprentice. It could also mean becoming more politically active to maintain their values in a society that they no longer recognize.
Stage Four is important psychologically because it makes the ever-growing reality of one’s own mortality more bearable. As humans, we have a deep need to feel as though our lives mean something. This meaning we constantly search for is literally our only psychological defense against the incomprehensibility of this life and the inevitability of our own death.6 To lose that meaning, or to watch it slip away, or to slowly feel as though the world has left you behind, is to stare oblivion in the face and let it consume you willingly.
WHAT’S THE POINT?
Developing through each subsequent stage of life grants us greater control over our happiness and well-being.
In Stage One, a person is wholly dependent on other people’s actions and approval to be happy. This is a horrible strategy because other people are unpredictable and unreliable.
In Stage Two, one becomes reliant on oneself, but they’re still reliant on external success to be happy — making money, accolades, victory, conquests, etc. These are more controllable than other people, but they are still mostly unpredictable in the long-run.
Stage Three relies on a handful of relationships and endeavors that proved themselves resilient and worthwhile through Stage Two. These are more reliable. And finally, Stage Four requires we only hold on to what we’ve already accomplished as long as possible.
At each subsequent stage, happiness becomes based more on internal, controllable values and less on the externalities of the ever-changing outside world.
INTER-STAGE CONFLICT
Later stages don’t replace previous stages. They transcend them. Stage Two people still care about social approval. They just care about something more than social approval. Stage 3 people still care about testing their limits. They just care more about the commitments they’ve made.
Each stage represents a reshuffling of one’s life priorities. It’s for this reason that when one transitions from one stage to another, one will often experience a fallout in one’s friendships and relationships. If you were Stage Two and all of your friends were Stage Two, and suddenly you settle down, commit and get to work on Stage Three, yet your friends are still Stage Two, there will be a fundamental disconnect between your values and theirs that will be difficult to overcome.
Generally speaking, people project their own stage onto everyone else around them. People at Stage One will judge others by their ability to achieve social approval. People at Stage Two will judge others by their ability to push their own boundaries and try new things. People at Stage Three will judge others based on their commitments and what they’re able to achieve. People at Stage Four judge others based on what they stand for and what they’ve chosen to live for.
THE VALUE OF TRAUMA
Self-development is often portrayed as a rosy, flowery progression from dumbass to enlightenment that involves a lot of joy, prancing in fields of daisies, and high-fiving two thousand people at a seminar you paid way too much to be at.
But the truth is that transitions between the life stages are usually triggered by trauma or an extreme negative event in one’s life. A near-death experience. A divorce. A failed friendship or a death of a loved one.
Trauma causes us to step back and re-evaluate our deepest motivations and decisions. It allows us to reflect on whether our strategies to pursue happiness are actually working well or not.
WHAT GETS US STUCK
The same thing gets us stuck at every stage: a sense of personal inadequacy.
People get stuck at Stage One because they always feel as though they are somehow flawed and different from others, so they put all of their effort into conforming into what those around them would like to see. No matter how much they do, they feel as though it is never enough.
Stage Two people get stuck because they feel as though they should always be doing more, doing something better, doing something new and exciting, improving at something. But no matter how much they do, they feel as though it is never enough.
Stage Three people get stuck because they feel as though they have not generated enough meaningful influence in the world, that they make a greater impact in the specific areas that they have committed themselves to. But no matter how much they do, they feel as though it is never enough.
One could even argue that Stage Four people feel stuck because they feel insecure that their legacy will not last or make any significant impact on the future generations. They cling to it and hold onto it and promote it with every last gasping breath. But they never feel as though it is enough.
The solution at each stage is then backwards. To move beyond Stage One, you must accept that you will never be enough for everybody all the time, and therefore you must make decisions for yourself.
To move beyond Stage Two, you must accept that you will never be capable of accomplishing everything you can dream and desire, and therefore you must zero in on what matters most and commit to it.
To move beyond Stage Three, you must realize that time and energy are limited, and therefore you must refocus your attention to helping others take over the meaningful projects you began.
To move beyond Stage Four, you must realize that change is inevitable, and that the influence of one person, no matter how great, no matter how powerful, no matter how meaningful, will eventually dissipate too.
Quote of the Times;
“Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” – C.S. Lewis
Link of the Times;
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/honey/bmnlcjabgnpnenekpadlanbbkooimhnj?hl=en-US
Breed?
New York City has been named the "least happy city" in the country. Imagine what they said when they heard that news. Whatever you imagined, you're correct.
Another poll ranked New York City as the most-unhappy city in America. Football season only antagonizes it.
Duran Duran is suing their own fan club, saying that the club cheated them out of revenue. Well, that ought to thin out the membership.
Buzzfeed has fired its political editor for plagiarism. According to his registration letter, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."
This week marks the 100th anniversary of World War I, just in case a Kaiser seems mad at you for not remembering.
Is it considered redundant to text a Texan?
Former president Warren G. Harding's love letters to his mistress have been released by the Library of Congress. This would explain why congressmen spend so much time in their library.
It's the 100th anniversary of the beginning of World War I, which was supposed to be "the war to end all wars." Talk about a tremendous marketing failure..
The TSA is offering a $5,000 reward for the best idea on how to speed up airport security lines. If you win, you'll get $1 a year for the next 5,000 years.
*.*
One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to
meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance:
leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.
Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and
confessed their concern. "Dear," said the mother
diplomatically, "he doesn't seem very nice."
"Oh please, Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't nice,
why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"
*.*
ATLANTA, GA - Military paintball team “28th Paintfantry” has yet to win a single match against area teenagers according to sources at the paintball arena.
The team has cited many reasons, including a lack of viable air support and poor intelligence.
“Combat is all I know,” admitted retired Spc. Justin Rome, a former Army supply assistant. “The enemy just doesn’t realize that the way they’re winning is all wrong.”
Rome, the team’s captain, recounted the most recent loss as he removed his Afghan scarf and dusted off his 5.11 tactical pants. “We were pinned down by withering enemy fire, and we asked ourselves what the professional warriors overseas would do. Instinctively, I grabbed my MBITR radio and called for air support, but they never showed.”
“We lost a lot of good men that day,” he said, looking away. “Half our team quit paintball and do AirSoft now.”
Mohamed Abdulah, the young leader of the Inner-City Integrated Sports team, or ICIS, believes the 28th Paintfantry warriors simply misunderstand paintball as a sport.
“They think that fighting by the book is more important than winning,” Abdulah said, “so they shouldn’t expect to beat us. Usually, after their whole team is eliminated, they complain to the referees that they should at least get credit for a tie because they followed their operations order and the issue was obviously a lack of support.”
Marty Moore, 28th Paintfantry’s assistant team leader, feels that the paintball referees lack a sense of precedent. “Home base didn’t even send out attack dogs as a substitute for helicopters,” Moore said. “I mean, even Call of Duty lets you call for air support.”
Rome joined in. “We tried bounding movements and flanking formations, but without overwhelming numbers, technology, and money, it turns out that our Vietnam-era tactics are completely useless.”
*.*
A golf pro dragged himself into the clubhouse looking as though
he'd just escaped a tornado.
"What's wrong?" a woman asked.
"I just lost a game to Houlihan," the pro said.
"What? But Houlihan's the worst player I've ever seen. How
could he have beaten you?"
"He tricked me," the pro said. "On the first tee, he asked for
a handicap. I told him he could have 30, 40, 50 strokes - any
handicap he wanted. He said, 'Just give me two gotchas.'"
"What's a gotcha?" asked the woman.
"That's what I wanted to know," the pro said. "Houlihan said,
'You'll see.' Then, as I was teeing off, just as I had my club
poised, he screamed out 'Gotcha!'"
"I can guess what happened," the woman said.
"Sure," the pro said. "The scream threw me off, and I
missed the ball completely."
"Understandable," the woman said. "But still, that's only one
swing. How did he win the game?"
The pro answered, "You try swinging at a golf ball all day
while waiting for that second 'gotcha!'"
*.*
Top Hints the Boss Really Does Not Like You:
1. Every year on his taxes, writes off your salary as a loss
2. Only one not invited to the company picnic--again
3. He recently gave you a "Congratulations for being passed over for a promotion for the 1,000th time" card
4. You hear him often use the phrase, the (your first name) problem
5. Refers to you as "Mr. Next to Go"
Issue of the Times;
This new breed of celebrities makes China’s rise even more obvious by Simon Black
In the year 605 AD, Emperor Yang of the Sui dynasty in China formally established what became known as the ‘imperial examination.’
This was a standardized test that public officials were required to take, covering everything from arithmetic to writing to military science.
The idea was to ensure that all public servants were educated and qualified.
This concept grew through the centuries, from the Sui to the Tang, Sung, Yuan, Ming, and Qing dynasties, with each successive leader further refining the exam.
It even lasted into China’s early days as a republic at the beginning of the 20th century, and still persists today in Taiwan.
China has had a very long tradition of placing substantial social value on education.
There was a brief interruption in the 20th century during Mao’s Cultural Revolution in which 100,000+ intellectuals were persecuted and shipped off to labor camps.
The economic effects of this decision to kill off intellect were disastrous, and China impoverished itself for decades as a result.
But today education is back at the forefront of Chinese culture, as it was for centuries.
The Chinese obsess over core subjects, particularly the all-important science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM).
The West is lagging here. Even the US Department of Education claims “few American students pursue expertise in STEM fields,” and “we have an inadequate pipeline of teachers skilled in those subjects.”
It’s also a question of values.
Case in point: two weeks ago, state-supported Wayne State University in Michigan decided to drop the mathematics requirement from its general education curriculum.
Instead, the university’s General Education Reform Committee proposed replacing the mathematics requirement with a mandatory course on diversity.
(It’s amazing that young people will actually take on tens of thousands of dollars worth of student debt for this…)
Across the Pacific, however, the Chinese haven’t reached the point yet where their society places much educational value on 18th century gender studies or the history of pop culture.
Instead, China celebrates real intellectual achievement.
Chinese movie stars take to their social media accounts each year during the annual “Gaokao”, or national college entrance exam, to cheer on the students.
The Gaokao is such a big deal in China that it receives substantial national media coverage, and top-scoring students often attract worshipful devotees and achieve minor celebrity status.
The same applies to the online math and science tutors who help students prepare for the Gaokao.
Many tutors attract millions of social media followers and are routinely recognized on the street like any ‘real’ celebrity.
[And in peak season they can make up to hundreds of thousands of dollars per month!]
Here’s an even starker example:
Stephen Hawking gained two million followers within 24 hours of signing up at the microblogging site Weibo, China’s equivalent of Twitter.
Now’s he’s up to 4.2 million, and climbing. That’s in just two months.
By comparison, on Twitter he has just 16,000 followers versus Kim Kardashian’s 46+ million.
It’s not that Hawking isn’t famous in the US or Europe-- they did, after all, make a movie about his life two years ago (which did slightly worse in the US market than 2014’s Sex Tape…)
It’s that he has a cult-like, almost movie star status in China, where students actually spend time learning about his theories.
To be fair, there’s obviously incalculable intellect in the West. And it’s not like the Chinese are immune to puerile fanaticism for their movie stars.
The key difference in China is that the celebration of intellect and human achievement as a core social value is on par with success and entertainment.
It’s no longer this way in the West. But it used to be.
When Sir Isaac Newton died in 1727, he was buried in England with the honor and prestige of a reigning monarch.
This shocked visiting diplomats from the Ottoman Empire, where intellectuals were treated with suspicion and censorship.
Unsurprisingly the Ottoman Empire was by then rapidly falling into history’s wastebasket of former superpowers, and the West was on the rise.
Decades ago in the US, Albert Einstein and Jonas Salk were huge celebrities.
Charles Lindbergh was once the most famous man in the world.
And children idolized astronauts in the 1960s, whose fame was so vast they were showered with endorsement deals from some of the biggest companies in the world.
Today, children in the West idolize reality TV starlets who are celebrated for having a voluptuous ass.
And in university, ‘checking your privilege’ is becoming more important in the Land of the Free than achieving fluency in the language of the universe-- mathematics.
Just like a ballooning national debt, it’s not hard to get a sense of where this trend leads.
Quote of the Times;
For nothing can overtake the power of Endurance! Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated failure. Endurance alone is power ultimate. So endure. We are the sum of our endurance. And we will not let others define us any longer.
Link of the Times;
http://deezify.com/
Another poll ranked New York City as the most-unhappy city in America. Football season only antagonizes it.
Duran Duran is suing their own fan club, saying that the club cheated them out of revenue. Well, that ought to thin out the membership.
Buzzfeed has fired its political editor for plagiarism. According to his registration letter, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."
This week marks the 100th anniversary of World War I, just in case a Kaiser seems mad at you for not remembering.
Is it considered redundant to text a Texan?
Former president Warren G. Harding's love letters to his mistress have been released by the Library of Congress. This would explain why congressmen spend so much time in their library.
It's the 100th anniversary of the beginning of World War I, which was supposed to be "the war to end all wars." Talk about a tremendous marketing failure..
The TSA is offering a $5,000 reward for the best idea on how to speed up airport security lines. If you win, you'll get $1 a year for the next 5,000 years.
*.*
One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to
meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance:
leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.
Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and
confessed their concern. "Dear," said the mother
diplomatically, "he doesn't seem very nice."
"Oh please, Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't nice,
why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"
*.*
ATLANTA, GA - Military paintball team “28th Paintfantry” has yet to win a single match against area teenagers according to sources at the paintball arena.
The team has cited many reasons, including a lack of viable air support and poor intelligence.
“Combat is all I know,” admitted retired Spc. Justin Rome, a former Army supply assistant. “The enemy just doesn’t realize that the way they’re winning is all wrong.”
Rome, the team’s captain, recounted the most recent loss as he removed his Afghan scarf and dusted off his 5.11 tactical pants. “We were pinned down by withering enemy fire, and we asked ourselves what the professional warriors overseas would do. Instinctively, I grabbed my MBITR radio and called for air support, but they never showed.”
“We lost a lot of good men that day,” he said, looking away. “Half our team quit paintball and do AirSoft now.”
Mohamed Abdulah, the young leader of the Inner-City Integrated Sports team, or ICIS, believes the 28th Paintfantry warriors simply misunderstand paintball as a sport.
“They think that fighting by the book is more important than winning,” Abdulah said, “so they shouldn’t expect to beat us. Usually, after their whole team is eliminated, they complain to the referees that they should at least get credit for a tie because they followed their operations order and the issue was obviously a lack of support.”
Marty Moore, 28th Paintfantry’s assistant team leader, feels that the paintball referees lack a sense of precedent. “Home base didn’t even send out attack dogs as a substitute for helicopters,” Moore said. “I mean, even Call of Duty lets you call for air support.”
Rome joined in. “We tried bounding movements and flanking formations, but without overwhelming numbers, technology, and money, it turns out that our Vietnam-era tactics are completely useless.”
*.*
A golf pro dragged himself into the clubhouse looking as though
he'd just escaped a tornado.
"What's wrong?" a woman asked.
"I just lost a game to Houlihan," the pro said.
"What? But Houlihan's the worst player I've ever seen. How
could he have beaten you?"
"He tricked me," the pro said. "On the first tee, he asked for
a handicap. I told him he could have 30, 40, 50 strokes - any
handicap he wanted. He said, 'Just give me two gotchas.'"
"What's a gotcha?" asked the woman.
"That's what I wanted to know," the pro said. "Houlihan said,
'You'll see.' Then, as I was teeing off, just as I had my club
poised, he screamed out 'Gotcha!'"
"I can guess what happened," the woman said.
"Sure," the pro said. "The scream threw me off, and I
missed the ball completely."
"Understandable," the woman said. "But still, that's only one
swing. How did he win the game?"
The pro answered, "You try swinging at a golf ball all day
while waiting for that second 'gotcha!'"
*.*
Top Hints the Boss Really Does Not Like You:
1. Every year on his taxes, writes off your salary as a loss
2. Only one not invited to the company picnic--again
3. He recently gave you a "Congratulations for being passed over for a promotion for the 1,000th time" card
4. You hear him often use the phrase, the (your first name) problem
5. Refers to you as "Mr. Next to Go"
Issue of the Times;
This new breed of celebrities makes China’s rise even more obvious by Simon Black
In the year 605 AD, Emperor Yang of the Sui dynasty in China formally established what became known as the ‘imperial examination.’
This was a standardized test that public officials were required to take, covering everything from arithmetic to writing to military science.
The idea was to ensure that all public servants were educated and qualified.
This concept grew through the centuries, from the Sui to the Tang, Sung, Yuan, Ming, and Qing dynasties, with each successive leader further refining the exam.
It even lasted into China’s early days as a republic at the beginning of the 20th century, and still persists today in Taiwan.
China has had a very long tradition of placing substantial social value on education.
There was a brief interruption in the 20th century during Mao’s Cultural Revolution in which 100,000+ intellectuals were persecuted and shipped off to labor camps.
The economic effects of this decision to kill off intellect were disastrous, and China impoverished itself for decades as a result.
But today education is back at the forefront of Chinese culture, as it was for centuries.
The Chinese obsess over core subjects, particularly the all-important science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM).
The West is lagging here. Even the US Department of Education claims “few American students pursue expertise in STEM fields,” and “we have an inadequate pipeline of teachers skilled in those subjects.”
It’s also a question of values.
Case in point: two weeks ago, state-supported Wayne State University in Michigan decided to drop the mathematics requirement from its general education curriculum.
Instead, the university’s General Education Reform Committee proposed replacing the mathematics requirement with a mandatory course on diversity.
(It’s amazing that young people will actually take on tens of thousands of dollars worth of student debt for this…)
Across the Pacific, however, the Chinese haven’t reached the point yet where their society places much educational value on 18th century gender studies or the history of pop culture.
Instead, China celebrates real intellectual achievement.
Chinese movie stars take to their social media accounts each year during the annual “Gaokao”, or national college entrance exam, to cheer on the students.
The Gaokao is such a big deal in China that it receives substantial national media coverage, and top-scoring students often attract worshipful devotees and achieve minor celebrity status.
The same applies to the online math and science tutors who help students prepare for the Gaokao.
Many tutors attract millions of social media followers and are routinely recognized on the street like any ‘real’ celebrity.
[And in peak season they can make up to hundreds of thousands of dollars per month!]
Here’s an even starker example:
Stephen Hawking gained two million followers within 24 hours of signing up at the microblogging site Weibo, China’s equivalent of Twitter.
Now’s he’s up to 4.2 million, and climbing. That’s in just two months.
By comparison, on Twitter he has just 16,000 followers versus Kim Kardashian’s 46+ million.
It’s not that Hawking isn’t famous in the US or Europe-- they did, after all, make a movie about his life two years ago (which did slightly worse in the US market than 2014’s Sex Tape…)
It’s that he has a cult-like, almost movie star status in China, where students actually spend time learning about his theories.
To be fair, there’s obviously incalculable intellect in the West. And it’s not like the Chinese are immune to puerile fanaticism for their movie stars.
The key difference in China is that the celebration of intellect and human achievement as a core social value is on par with success and entertainment.
It’s no longer this way in the West. But it used to be.
When Sir Isaac Newton died in 1727, he was buried in England with the honor and prestige of a reigning monarch.
This shocked visiting diplomats from the Ottoman Empire, where intellectuals were treated with suspicion and censorship.
Unsurprisingly the Ottoman Empire was by then rapidly falling into history’s wastebasket of former superpowers, and the West was on the rise.
Decades ago in the US, Albert Einstein and Jonas Salk were huge celebrities.
Charles Lindbergh was once the most famous man in the world.
And children idolized astronauts in the 1960s, whose fame was so vast they were showered with endorsement deals from some of the biggest companies in the world.
Today, children in the West idolize reality TV starlets who are celebrated for having a voluptuous ass.
And in university, ‘checking your privilege’ is becoming more important in the Land of the Free than achieving fluency in the language of the universe-- mathematics.
Just like a ballooning national debt, it’s not hard to get a sense of where this trend leads.
Quote of the Times;
For nothing can overtake the power of Endurance! Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated failure. Endurance alone is power ultimate. So endure. We are the sum of our endurance. And we will not let others define us any longer.
Link of the Times;
http://deezify.com/
Several animals were savagely beaten in the making of this page, including but not limited to; kittens, rabbits, zebu, skunks, puppies, and platypus. Also several monkeys where force fed crack to improve their typing skills.
And someone shot a duck.
An Images & Ideas, Inc. Service.
No Vegans were harmed in the making of this site. We're looking for a new provider.
And someone shot a duck.
An Images & Ideas, Inc. Service.
No Vegans were harmed in the making of this site. We're looking for a new provider.