A recent survey says 75% of men feel more confident with facial hair.
No so much with back hair.
I told my therapist that I am having suicidal thoughts.
He now makes me pay in advance.
An 80 year old blind man walks into a pub and sits at the bar.
He orders a pint and tells the landlord, “I’ve been blind for 50 years lad. My hearing’s perfectly attuned. I bet can tell you what’s happening in any room in this pub.”
“Oh really”, says the landlord, “go ahead then”.
The old man cups a hand round his ear, tilts his head to the ceiling and listens. “In your bathroom, upstairs, the one at the end of the corridor… a tap’s been left on.”
Skeptical, the landlord sends his nephew upstairs to check. His nephew returns and confirms the findings. “Could’ve been luck”, says the landlord, “Go on, try again…”
The old man cups his ear, tilts his head to the floor and listens. “In your cellar”, he says, “I can hear scurrying. You have a rat infestation.”
“You’re talking rubbish.” says the landlord, and sends his nephew to check. He returns and the old man is right, again!
Now intrigued, the landlord urges him to try again.
He cups a hand round his ear and listens to somewhere behind the bar. “Ah, in the storeroom down that corridor”, he says, “someone’s having at it in there right now”.
The nephew goes and checks the store room, and what d’ya know, he finds two of the bar staff shagging away in there.
“Bloody hell old man, you truly are incredible”, says the landlord, “what else can you hear?”
The old geezer hushes the landlord, places his head on the bar and listens for a while.
He lifts his head off the bar and says, “Yep, your beer pump is definitely out of action”.
The landlord checks the pump… “Ha! You’re wrong old man. It’s working perfectly!”
“Well then”, the old man replied. “Where’s my fucking pint?”
Don't get too carried away in celebrating the Roaring 20s. The last time we did this, they had prohibition.
Microsoft is ending support for Windows 7, so if you're still using that software, you're running out of time. Those of you still using Win95, we've officially given up on you.
If nothing else, Harry and Meghan's departure from the Royal Family has given birth to a new term: Palacelessness.
Copenhagen's "Little Mermaid" statue was vandalized with graffiti over the weekend. Someone wrote the phrase "Free Hong Kong" beneath the word, Copenhagen. More specifically, under the "c".
A Japanese billionaire is looking for a woman to fly to the Moon with him on an Elon Musk rocket. If interested, sign up for the dating app, Orbiter.
In February, you can usually catch some great furniture sales. I hear that over in Russia, President Putin is getting a new cabinet.
My unsolicited advice of the day; ignore unsolicited advice.
Queen Elizabeth II didn’t use Harry and Meghan’s titles in her post-summit statement. In fact, I believe she used the phrase, “Mr. and Mrs. Traitor.”
Scientists are working on a pill to replace exercise. Yeah, but then I’d have to get up and grab one. Isn’t there an easier way to lose weight?
It doesn’t take long to make an impression. The Wicked Witch of the West was only in The Wizard of Oz for 12 minutes.
A top secret Russian satellite has exploded in space. OK, make that a formerly top secret satellite.
A study says that parrots exhibit kindness and selfless behavior towards others…which scientists say, proves they could never be elected to congress.
Meat Loaf is suing a Dallas hotel after being injured falling from a stage. An attorney for the hotel had the best comment; “What? Meatloaf again?”
Top ways [D]emocrats could send over the next Articles of Impeachment:
Along with an FTD ‘You've been Impeached' bouquet
As part of an Impeachment-gram
With a Domino's pizza, there in 30 minutes or less
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When you own goats you understand why celebrities worship the goat. The male goat spends all day peeing on his own face, trying to fornicate with literally anything, and yelling incoherently. It’s the celebrity spirit animal. - Benjamin
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Global Warming's 50 Years of Fraud by Jack Hellner
The theory for those pushing the green new deal or some other radical energy policy that will destroy tens of millions of jobs and greatly harm the poor and middle class is that humans, CO2, and fossil fuels cause warming and climate change. This warming causes the ice to melt in Alaska, then the melting ice causes sea levels to rise and the rising sea levels will cause coastal cities to be underwater.
They have predicted the coastal cities to disappear for the last 100 years and they have been wrong for 100 years.
Meanwhile, Alaska has been exceptionally cold for the last few months. As a nerd who knows that the people pushing the garbage theory of humans causing climate change is based on a series of lies, I look at actual data.
It is a shame most of the media, entertainers and other Democrats just repeat talking points instead of doing research.
January 2020 was the 15th coldest January on record in Fairbanks Alaska. At negative 27 degrees. it was over 13 degrees below average this year. Obviously, the ice will be thickening faster than average and is not going to be gone as predicted.
Here is a small sample of predictions and fear articles over the years:
1922-Article by AP in Washington Post and elsewhere saying icecaps were melting, oceans were dying, and coastal cities would disappear.
1970-First Earth Day. We were scared with articles that billions would die soon from catastrophic cooling.
1975-Newsweek-Doom and gloom article called “The Cooling World”
1989-Back to warming. The UN essentially repeated the warnings from 1922 article and said we only had ten years to solve the problem.
2008-ABC ran fear story saying much of Miami and New York City would be under water by 2015.
2019- The UN again repeated the same warnings from 1922 and 1989 and again we have only ten years left.
How did the Earth cool so much from 1945 to 1976 that we got warnings of catastrophic cooling if rising CO2, humans and fossil fuels cause warming? The answer is there is no correlation between CO2, population, fossil fuel use and temperature.
Humans can’t control the temperature of the sun, tilt of the sun, solar activity, distance the Earth is from the sun, daily rotation of the Earth, annual orbit of the Earth, high tides, low tides, the Jetstream, El Nino, or La Nina but we are told that if we give politicians and bureaucrats trillions of dollars they can control the sea level, temperature and sea levels forever. Does that make sense?
A clear indication that the theory that fossil fuels, rising CO2 and humans cause global warming or climate change is a hoax or a series of lies is that the globe had a significant cooling period from 1945 to 1976. It cooled so much that it was predicted on the first Earth Day in 1970 that we were having a disastrous cooling period where billions would die from starvation.
Besides being lied to for around 100 years that coastal cities would soon disappear, the public has been lied to that we were running out of oil for over 100 years. For a long time, we were told that we needed alternatives like wind and solar because of these lies. Now that it is known that there is plenty of fossil fuels to last a long time and that we are always finding more, we are told the lie that fossil fuels are causing climate change, warming and are destroying the planet.
The public has been continuously lied to that droughts are longer and more severe than ever when historical data and the number of deserts worldwide clearly shows that is not true.
We have also been told that floods are more severe and worse than ever when historical data and the fact that so much of the Earth is covered with water shows that to be demonstrably false.
How many times have we been told the lie that the warming is unprecedented when historical data shows that the Earth has gone through many long-term warming and cooling periods including several ice ages. A little ice age ended around 1850 so a little warming today would be normal.
Sea levels have always risen and fallen and according to estimates there has been only a small rise since the advent of fossil fuels but we get continuous predictions of impending disasters.
To scare the children, we repeatedly have been told that tens of thousands of species are dying out each year because of humans and fossil fuels.
They have repeatedly been told that polar bears are dying because of humans, fossil fuels and climate change when the population of polar bears has increased substantially the last seventy years and they were dying because of hunting, not climate change.
Meanwhile, the actual number of identified species, including many no one has heard of, that have gone extinct since 1900 is 477 or four per year. The truth obviously isn’t important when pushing an agenda.
Why is there so little concern by environmentalists about how much land solar and wind farms use and how much wildlife they kill?
We have been lied to that hurricane activity was going to be worse than ever after Katrina and we had a mild ten-year period. We’ve been told repeatedly the bald faced lie that we were going to have snowless winters.
As the predictions over the years have been 100% wrong the future predictions always get more extreme. We go from global warming to climate change to climate catastrophe and climate collapse and we repeatedly only have a few years left to solve the problem. The solution is always to transfer more power and money to the government along with relinquishing our freedom and way of life. The solution for almost all Democrat policies is more money and power to the government.
We have the environmentalists seeking to control CO2, a clear, innocuous non-pollutant gas while advocating for the massive use of lithium, a flammable pollutant. How will they dispose of all those flammable batteries?
As the predictions have been so wrong, journalists and other Democrats seek to shut those of us who tell the truth that the climate has always changed naturally. We are called liars, deniers, stupid and anti-science. It is the fear mongers who refuse to debate and look at actual historical scientific data.
One of the biggest frauds of all time was when East Anglia University manipulated temperature data to hide a medieval warming period. That would have exposed their lies about human caused global warming and they didn’t want their money spicket turned off. This fraud is much more detrimental to the world than anything we have ever seen.
Yet journalists and other Democrats didn’t give a damn about the fraud as they continue to hide the truth from the public because they also like the money train.
Al Gore and many others have used the lies to greatly enrich themselves. Many of the people pushing the lies ride around in private jets and live in mansions while lecturing the rest of us that we are destroying the planet.
I excuse Greta Thunberg and other young people for their ignorance on science because they have been indoctrinated and lied to for their entire lives. There is no excuse for journalists, entertainers, Michael Bloomberg, President Obama, the Clintons, Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren et al for just repeating talking points in order to enrich the government and harm the rest of us.
Indoctrination is a dangerous thing and journalists have been major contributors to the indoctrination.
Democrats can’t count votes in Iowa in a reasonable time but they tell us they can control temperatures, sea levels and storm activity forever if we just hand them trillions of our hard earned dollars. Why the heck would anyone believe them?
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