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Capitalism?
A Love Story

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a Trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,...........

'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'

'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow! That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied, 'Get your own fucking blanket.'

After a moment of silence, he farted.

The End

*.*

I was in Ft. Myers, Florida, the other day and I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read: "I miss Detroit".

So, I broke the window, stole the radio, shot out two tires, added an Obama bumper sticker and left a note that read, "I hope this helps!"

*.*

The difference between mowing my yard and mowing my neighbor's yard: The neighbor is a hot single lady who presses her big boobs against the window every time I go by, whereas the woman at my house is married and couldn't care less.

*.*

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Easter and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.”

“Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.

“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer” the father says. “We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”

Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like hell they're getting divorced!” she shouts, “I'll take care of this!”

She calls Scotland immediately, and screams at her father “You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Sorted! They're coming for Easter - and they're paying their own way.'

*.*

A friend hosted a dinner party for people from work, and everyone was encouraged to bring their children.

All during the sit-down dinner one co-worker's three-year-old girl stared at the man sitting across from her. The girl could hardly eat her food from staring. The man checked his tie, felt his face for food, patted his hair in place, but nothing stopped her from staring at him. He tried his best to just ignore her but finally it was too much for him. He asked her, "Why are you staring at me?"

Everyone at the table had noticed her behavior and the table went quiet for her response.

The little girl said, "I just want to see how you drink like a fish!"

Issue of the Times;
What Every Man Needs To Know About Capitalism And Economics

First, understand that capitalism is NOT an option. It’s not an “opinion.” It’s not a “belief.” It’s not a “theory.”
It’s a law.
You have no choice but to abide by it just as you have no choice to abide by gravity.
You may not “like” that statement. You may not agree with it, but none of that changes the fact that the economic phenomenon known as “capitalism” or “free markets” has naturally formed within humanity throughout it’s entire history. To understand this “human nature” aspect of capitalism, consider gold. Doesn’t matter if you look to the ancient Aztecs, the far-removed Hindus river valley, sub-Saharan Africa, or prehistoric Europe, gold ended up becoming the default currency in nearly all ancient civilizations.
The reason why is that gold had the characteristics and traits that made it valuable to all humans and human nature. And like gold, so too did markets and the free exchange of goods, services, and labor become a naturally-forming, universal phenomenon of both ancient civilizations and our tight-knit global community today. Ergo, capitalism is not some kind of fanciful political theory concocted by a delusional, pontificating trust-fund baby elitist (that would be Karl Marx). It’s merely the economic manifestation of human nature.
If this does not convince you about capitalism being an undeniable law of human nature, then consider proving it in reverse - communism.
The whole concept of communism is that there are no free markets, there is no free trade. Prices are fixed, as is production and nearly all business and investment decisions. Naturally, the bureaucrats in charge of making production decisions fail miserably at predicting what an entire people want. So what forms in response to this controlled market?
Black markets. AKA “underground economies.”
You must understand what the existence of black markets in communist economies proves about capitalism being the default-state law of humanity. Doesn’t matter how many laws you pass, doesn’t matter how much punishment you mete out, doesn’t matter if the entire government’s resources are dedicated to banning it, in the end all that matters is that people demand something and other people are willing to supply it. Thus, underground economies were not only prevalent in ALL communist “economies,” but continue to exist today in our schools and other “drug free zones” with the “illegal” $60-billion-per-year US drug trade.
If Stalin, Mao, Kim Jong Il, and Nancy Reagan couldn’t stop black markets from forming, don’t you think it’s about time to admit capitalism isn’t optional? And furthermore, since that is the default state nature of humanity, shouldn’t governments and economies be built upon this reality instead of trying to change it?
Government as a means of protection rather than production
All economic success derives from the protection and enforcement or private property. Understand that governments do not produce anything of economic value. The only thing that can produce something of economic value is people. Without a people, there is no point or purpose to have a government. But how do you incentivize the people to produce?
Well, in the olden days you captured them and made them slaves, threatening them with torture, beatings, starvation, and death. Today, obviously, we need a new incentive. Enter private property.
If I’m not a slave, I’m allowed to keep the majority of the fruits of my labor. This income will go to pay for necessary things like food, clothing, and shelter, but any excess earnings can be saved up and used to buy assets. These assets are also called “wealth,” and if I build up enough “wealth” then I can become “rich” and never labor again.
This is a huge and VITAL cornerstone of capitalism because it provides not just one person, but all people with the key to their own freedom. They are allowed to work as much and as hard as they want, become as rich as they can, all of which invigorates and mobilizes billions of people to produce (resulting in the economic powerhouses of yesteryear western civilization). However, it was all contingent on the legal guarantee that their property would be their own and not confiscated for political purposes.
However, some people are going to be better, luckier, or just harder-working than others and as a consequence will have more wealth than others. And this creates jealousy. And jealousy is all fine and good as long as you have a republic that protects a constitution, meritocracy, and property rights. But if society devolves into a democracy, the temptation has proven too tempting to the masses to merely vote for “other people’s wealth,” thus undermining private property.
The argument shouldn’t be about whether that’s “fair” or not. The argument should be “do they have the right to do what they want with their own private property?”
You may not like the current day employment prospects our current economy offers. You may not like the part-time job becoming the default economic reality of the labor market. But the adult, male, “time-to-put-on-your-big-boy-pants” truth is that:
IT ISN’T YOUR FUCKING MONEY!
IT ISN’T YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!
If you don’t like what employers are paying, then quit being a whiny, simpering bitch and start your own damn company. Because the slippery slope that ensues when you start to make claim to property that is not yours is you get something much worse than “part-time jobs” or “low pay.” You get capital flight which results in no jobs.
Capitalism has empirically outperformed every other economic system
If you are one for empiricism, just look at history. By nearly all accounts we can admit communism has failed. The USSR could only provide its people a third of what the US did. And when you compare countries with the same people, but two different economic systems, the comparison could not be more stark. Specifically the Koreas (North and South) and the Germanys (pre-unification).
However, post-Soviet collapse arguments typically fall into the grey area of “socialism” or “mixed economies,” with people on the left nearly stampeding over themselves to point out the Scandinavian countries as proof socialism can work. It is here that three minor problems come into play.
One, Norway (the darling favorite of the left) derives a goodly fourth of its economic production from oil and is better analyzed as a mideast oil emirate than a Scandinavian country. Two, the relative homogeneity of Scandinavia’s population means there’s less incentive for groups to “get theirs” by taking advantage of the welfare state, providing a rare cooperation amongst humans (but give it time). Three, population-wise compared to the rest of “socialist” Europe, they are not very relevant. Whatever may be working in Finland today isn’t working thrice over in Italy, France, Germany, and for the remaining other 500 million Europeans.
But if you want numbers, the best I’ve calculated was the correlation between long term tax rates (as measured by spending as a % GDP) and economic growth (and this included the Scandinavian countries), which resulted in a -.28 correlation coefficient. And that data, mind you, is post-1991 and therefore does not include the dismal performance of the former Soviet bloc countries.
Regardless, the point is that barring economic eccentricities and statistical outliers, capitalism has outperformed socialism and communism hands down. It really isn’t up for debate unless you want to resort to technicalities, exceptions, etc., to protect your political ego or erroneous world-view.
The US is NOT a capitalist economy
If you are an American you have got to understand that you do not live in a capitalist economy, but rather a mixed or “socialist” one. Oh, people will laugh. Oh, people will accuse me of “sensationalism,” but I have no opinion on this matter, just mere fact. We simply do not live in a capitalist economy.
As it stands right now the state, federal and local governments combined spend about 38% of our economy. Of that 38%, 85% of it is spent on “social spending.” Not the military. This is set to increase dramatically as the baby boomers retire and a whole host of other social expenses come into play which (depending on whose estimates you want to use) means spending will increase to around 45% GDP.
Additionally, you throw in things like a progressive income tax, a 40% statutory corporate tax rate (arguments of the effective tax rate duly noted), corporate lobbying, crony capitalists, bailouts, Obamacare, and the level of government regulation and intervention into the private economy, and we are anything but a capitalist economy.
The alternative to capitalism is far, far worse
Hate capitalism and free markets and people richer than you all you want. The alternative is far worse. And some of this is striking rather close to home.
If you look at the political affiliation of the people launching their assault on men and male culture you’ll quickly realize they aren’t “feminists” as much as they are socialists using their sex organs or “gender” as a means to play victim and get more money out of you. You may also be somewhat familiar with women voting for the state to replace men in their traditional roles.
You are no longer a man, a husband, a father or a head of household. You are a sperm donor, a trial husband, or an alimony check. And even if you think you’ll be clever, avoiding these fates by being a bachelor, understand you disproportionately pay taxes to subsidize millions of “empowered, independent women’s” tuition in worthless degrees, while paying even more taxes so they can have make-work government jobs and a surrogate husband in the form of a government check. So before you go running to the state to complain about “minimum wage” or “part time work” you may want to look at what happens when the state gets more power.
But this cultural Marxism and replacement of men is nothing compared to what happens when people start tinkering with the economy, replacing free markets with socialism. At best you can hope for is what is currently plaguing Europe. Government debts equivalent to 200% GDP. Stagnant economic growth. Youth unemployment rates of around 40%. Bank accounts being confiscated. And political correctness being shoved down your throat.
The worst you can expect is the track record of Chairman Mao and Josef Stalin. 100 million dead during peacetime due to starvation. Even Nazis during war couldn’t kill that much that fast. Alas, this is the slope you risk going down when you start contemplating granting the state more power to make things “fair” in your naive, idealistic, rookie economist mind.
Finally, because this is not a dictatorship you have a responsibility to society to educate yourself about economics.

Quote of the Times;
Vision without action is daydream. Action without vision is nightmare.

Link of the Times;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6hJ8H_KYoI
Middle?
Oneliners:

Now that I’m older, I realize the joke isn’t that Squidward hates his job, but that SpongeBob loves it.

Porn is the one industry where segregating races, genders, and sexual preference is completely acceptable.

Marriage is one of the few things where we consider someone an expert if they’ve only successfully done it once.

I wonder if my cat thinks the delivery guy is my owner because he gives me food.

Whenever I hear the word “Egyptians” I never think of it referring to the people who currently live in Egypt.

I feel like a pimp taking my son around trick or treating, because I expect to get a percentage of that candy.

*.*

"Do you believe in life after death?" The Boss asked one of his employees.

"Yes, sir." The new employee replied.

"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the Boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you!"

*.*

When my son was graduated from high school, he had to give a speech.

He began by reading from his prepared text. "I want to talk about my mother and the wonderful influence she has had on my life. She is a shining example of parenthood and I love her more than words could ever do her justice."

At this point he seemed to struggle for words. Looking up and with a sly grin he said, "It's really hard to read my mom's handwriting."

*.*

The Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) has approved a claim from a veteran of the United States Civil War in one of its longest running cases to date.

Pvt. Horace Bottomsley, who served in the Chickamauga Campaign, first filed a claim in 1864 for a case of scurvy he caught the previous year, which he claims was brought on by the Union Army’s insufficient rations. According to Bottomsley, the standard diet of hardtack and grain liquor should have been supplemented by molasses and salt pork to provide essential nutrients.

VA Secretary David Shulkin says a backlog of claims from the Mexican-American War, among other factors, may have led to “slight delays” in processing Bottomsley’s claim.

“He submitted the original claim via telegraph to a local veterans home, which was almost approved in 1892,” said Shulkin. “But they switched from telegraph to telephone around that time, and unfortunately they fired everyone that knew how to translate Morse code, rather than retrain them to answer telephones.”

Bottomsley's claim will be paid out to his next-of-kin, his great-great-grandson and World War II veteran Jim Bottomsley, who fought in the Battle of the Bulge and has been waiting on his own claim to be approved since 1947.

“The VA can choke on my bulge,” said the younger Bottomsley, which was his only comment on the matter.

Shulkin says Bottomsley is entitled to receive his ancestor's backdated disability payments, which when adjusted for the 1863 pay scale amount to $14.07. He can also pick up a free six-month supply of vitamin-C supplements, which would have been able to treat his great-great-grandfather's scurvy had he not died during the Taft administration.

*.*

Some people want to be cryogenically frozen and then brought back in the future when their disease can be cured.

I want to be frozen now, while I'm still healthy, so I can be thawed out later when robot wives are cheap and effective.

Issue of the Times;
How Trump Can Save the Middle Class by Jerome Corsi

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Next week, on Friday, March 31, President Trump has a unique opportunity to do the right thing to benefit the middle class throughout America, for this generation as well as for future generations.

Next Friday, the Treasury Department is scheduled to make the next Net Worth Sweep, from the two government-backed mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

All President Trump must do is instruct Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchen to inform Federal Housing Agency Director Mel Watt that the Net Worth Sweep is finished.

If Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac do not make their sweep payment to the Treasury on March 31, the two mortgage giants can begin rebuilding their capital base which protects taxpayers from ever having to bail them out in case of an economic downturn.

In the same executive order that President Trump signs to end the Net Worth Sweep on March 31, he can also remove the “executive privilege” President Obama placed on some 11,000 documents the Obama administration fought desperately in the courts to keep the American people from seeing.

As Infowars.com has reported, the Obama administration confiscated all earnings from these two Government Sponsored Entities (GSEs) in an unlawful and unconstitutional criminal scheme that has stripped Fannie and Freddie of the capital needed to continue operating safely, while depriving all private and institutional investors of the dividends due to them as stockholder owners.

In what now amounts to the largest theft of corporate dividends in U.S. corporate history, the Obama administration Treasury Department has confiscated over $260 billion from Fannie and Freddie since August 2012.

Why did Obama steal $260 billion from Fannie and Freddie?

First, in 2012, Obamacare was at risk going bankrupt after Congress refused to appropriate funds to pay the required subsidies to insurance companies to provide the low-income health insurance upon which Obamacare depended.

This left the Obama administration scrambling to find a spare $130 billion somewhere in the federal budget that could be diverted to pay the insurance subsidies for that purpose, even though it was illegal and unconstitutional for the Obama administration to do so.

Second, as Infowars.com reported from leaked documents from Sec. Geithner’s Treasury Department, the Obama administration was prepared to “wind down” Freddie and Fannie, knowing that taking all earnings from the two mortgage giants inevitably would leave the GSEs without sufficient capital to operate.

This effectively would have ended the middle-class American Dream of home ownership because without Fannie and Freddie, no U.S. underwriter has been willing to offer the 30-year fixed-rate mortgage that millions of first-time home-buyers need to be able to both make the required down payment and afford the subsequent required monthly mortgage payments.

The leaked Treasury Department documents reveal that Sec. Geithner had planned that after Fannie and Freddie were closed, the mortgage market would be turned over to Wall Street and big banks – two of the Democratic Party’s largest sources of campaign contributions.

The result of the Obama plan would be to transform middle-class America from a nation of home owners to a “well-housed” nation of renters, on the model of major cities throughout the European Union.

Quote of the Times;
He who dares not offend cannot be honest. – Paine

Link of the Times;
https://www.infowars.com/hunt-kill-all-white-women-facebook-post-deemed-not-hate-speech/
Baiters?
"G'day mate, Aussie Helpline. What's the problem cobber?"

"I'm in Darwin with my sheila and she's been stung on the minge by a wasp, and now her mut has completely closed up."

"Bummer mate!"

"Thanks mate, I hadn't thought of that, Cheers."

*.*

Oneliners:

If aliens really attack Earth, my first thought is probably going to be “Which movie came the closest?”

If someone ever grabs me by the lapels and frantically asks me what the date is, I will be sure to include the year in my answer.

If people adopted last names like they did in the past, Jim CustomerServicer or Matt TeamLeader are just some examples of what awful things we’d be called.

It just occurred to me that duels were most likely scheduled at high noon so that the sun wasn’t in either opponent’s eyes.

I would be willing to donate blood to the mosquito community, if in exchange they would stop biting me.

A line of paint on the road holds more authority than I probably ever will.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard a car alarm going off and thought “Someone’s car is getting stolen!”

It’s pretty dumb that I get a new driver’s license every four years and it’s made out of hard plastic and I’m supposed to have my social security card for life and it’s made out of paper.

*.*

‘Black Lives Matter’ Protesters Disrupt ISIS Beheading

AL-RAQQAH, Syria – Protesters from the group Black Lives Matter caused what observers called a “major headache,” so to speak, in Syria last Friday when they interrupted a public beheading being carried out by the group the Islamic State.

Abu Mohammad al-Adnani, a spokesman for the Islamic State, or ISIS, said the protesters had “stormed” the front steps of the town hall in Al-Raqqah, where ISIS fighters were about to behead four civilians for what al-Adnani called “the heinous crime of pigeon breeding.”

The protest group was led by Imani Mills, a 26-year-old community activist and aspiring motocross racer from Minneapolis, who claims she was attempting to highlight the glaring racial inequalities found throughout the Islamic State.

"Most people don't realize that the Islamic State is the most dangerous place on earth to be a person of color," said Mills. "Fully 100% of all violence in this country is carried out against people of color, making it worse than Nigeria, the Central African Republic, or even Baltimore."

Mills added, "Everyday people of color in the Islamic State are shot to death by the police or locked up in cages. ISIS needs to recognize its role in perpetuating this hetero-patriarchal state violence."

While Black Lives Matters now contains 28 separate chapters, including one in Canada, its Syrian chapter is by far the least successful. According to Mills, the group originally just tried walking around downtown Raqqah yelling "Hands Up Don't Shoot," but were mistaken for a group of surrendering Syrian Army soldiers and gunned down.

Mills says they later tried unsuccessfully to disrupt a speech by ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi by waving signs which read "Ban the Box," a movement to remove criminal records from job applications. However the phrase only led to confusion when ISIS members thought they were referring to the boxes the group puts collaborators in and sets on fire.

Last month they tried blocking the roads into Raqqah, chanting, "Shut this whole town down! The power, the roads, the water!" but gave up after they realized the Syrian Air Force had destroyed them all in a bombing raid several months earlier.

However, both al-Adnani and Mills said this latest protest had led to "productive dialogue" once ISIS' leaders realized her storming the stage was not an attempted suicide bombing by their rival group Al-Nusrah Front.

Al-Adnani also said that ISIS would attempt to include a wider variety of races and ethnic groups in future executions and vowed to set up a multicultural "All Deaths Matter" Martyrs Brigade.

ISIS also declared a "period of reflection," to avoid appearing racially insensitive and called off the remaining events of the day, including crushing several children with a bulldozer and immolating a suspected CIA spy.

*.*

English Lesson of the Day:

The phrase “Do go on” contains 3 different pronunciations of the letter ‘o’.

*.*

According to those killjoys over at PETA, there's apparently no right way to eat a Rhesus.

Issue of the Times;
Master Baiters: The Leftists Keeping America’s Race War Alive by Milo Yiannopoulos

My tour was planned with such care, I’ve come to Wisconsin and Minnesota in December. I think they are trying to kill me! They should have brought me up here when the weather was better…. There must be at least one month when the weather is nice here right?

Honestly, the upper Midwest is way too close to Canada. I’m going to have to assume you are all Canadian cucks until proven otherwise. Of course the real cucks are over at UW Madison. Can you imagine the triggering if I showed up at that hotbed of liberal insanity? It would register on the Richter scale. It would be even worse for them that finding out the Wisconsin recount didn’t change a damn thing.

Congrats to Wisconsin on going red!

I know there has been upheaval in your basketball program. They fired the coach this year after 11 seasons. Many of you think it was because of poor performance, player academics, or clashing personalities with the athletic director. You need to start thinking like Democrats…. The basketball team was obviously hacked by the Russians!

Why does the University of Wisconsin Milwaukee have something called the Inclusive Excellence Center? It sounds so sinister. For some reason liberals ALWAYS name these things straight out of 1984. The inclusive excellence center would fit right in with the ministry of truth.

And what does the Inclusive Excellence Center do? It works to control the speech of UWM students through hilarious efforts like the “Just Words” campaign. They’ve spent student’s money to come up with a strategy that boils down to “sticks and stones may break my bones but words hurt my feelings AND YOU CAN’T SAY THEM ANY MORE OR YOU’RE A RACIST BIGOT WHO DESERVES TO DIE”.

You think I’m joking about 1984, but I’m not. They call the flyer portion of the just words campaign “passive programming”. God help you if you are part of their “active programming” which presumably involves electroshock therapy for anyone who accidentally misgenders Caitlyn Jenner.

The Just Words campaign is all about words you shouldn’t say. Apparently you can’t say “are you deaf?” when someone doesn’t hear you, I guess because… a deaf person might hear you and be offended? Who even knows.

You aren’t supposed to say “That’s gay” which I say all day long. That’s gay doesn’t mean something is homosexual, it means it’s retarded! Which you’re not allowed to say either.

Of course you can’t say illegal alien, that would admit America has a problem with illegals. We should probably call it undocumented immigration, it’s just a clerical error!

I’ve gone through the pain of the VISA process ladies and gentlemen, and I am more against illegal aliens than I ever was after that. I kept screaming my safe word and the immigration officials wouldn’t stop torturing me!

My safe phrase by the way is “Women can be funny”.

One of the words you should not use according to the just words campaign is Nazi. I don’t think the campus crybabies have any problem calling Donald Trump and all of his supporters Nazis do they? Obviously, the rules only apply to other people.

There is one final word I have to mention from ‘just words’, and it is man up. Man up is a big no no for liberals, intent on eliminating masculinity from our culture. Toxic masculinity and rape culture and all the other idiotic things they like to say in their war against men.

I’ll tell you one UW Milwaukee student that doesn’t need to man up, Justine Kramer.

This quote unquote non-binary transwoman forced his way into the women’s locker rooms this year.

He got into the women’s room the way liberals always operate, using the government and the courts to weasel their way in where they don’t belong. In this case he made a Title IX complaint. You know, Title IX, the set of rules to protect women on campus? Now they protect trannies in your bathrooms instead.

I’ve known some passing trannies, they have no problem changing in the women’s locker room. But Justine isn’t even trying… I can tell, because I’d still just about do him… the ULTIMATE sign he doesn’t pass.

But tonight I’m here to talk about race relations, and how the left is wrong about everything on race.

Race relations between whites and blacks has always been held to be America’s original sin. You’ve just had a black President for 8 years, and he is now saying America hasn’t overcome its legacy of racism. What more could America do, Mr Obama? Elect you God?

Of course, the appalling legacy in the US ultimately derives from a hideous sin. Every corner of the globe has experienced slavery. Many blacks are descended from slaveholders in Africa, or especially if they are descendants of Egypt as many claim. Almost all cultures had slaves, or indentured servants, or whatever names they come up with. Indentured Servant was like saying undocumented American you see, it just sounds better.

Of the slaves brought to the new world, the vast majority went to central and south America. America and England are different than so many countries, because they realized slavery was wrong and ended it.

American slavery was ended by a bloody civil war. Some of you may be descendants of Wisconsin men that fought to free the slaves. It’s hard for liberal students to understand the concept of a civil war. It’s sort of like aggressive liking and retweeting without permission, but with bullets.

Many of you have better grasp on the civil war that that, but you’re college students, so I have to assume it hasn’t been covered in the same detail as important topics like microaggressions and manspreading.

Slavery is horrific, but the only slavery you hear about is the American kind that ended in the 1860s. According to the UN and other groups, there are an estimated 30 million slaves in the world today, including 14 million in India, and 4% of the population of Mauritania. No one even takes the time to find out where Mauritania is, let alone try to end slavery there.

Why isn’t the American left fighting slavery today on a global scale? I won’t say anything about modern slavery involving a lot of child sex trafficking, which is pizza for another day. The real reason is that slavery in America is used to control American politics and continue to drive a wedge between the races, for the political and financial advantage of a small group of so-called progressive elites.

Although there have been divisions within leadership of the black community since the slaves were freed, modern race relations can be traced back to the sixties. Much of America changed in that era.

If you consider the Reverend Martin Luther King Jr., his message of equality and unity is what mainstream Republicans now seem to believe. If you say you’re colorblind about race on campus, you’ll trigger social justice warriors, who think you are racist for not….identifying people primarily for race.

If a white person gave Dr. King’s famous “I have a dream” speech and said his line “I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” They’d face charges of hate speech from liberals too ignorant of history to even know it’s Dr. King’s line. “All lives matter” is, bizarrely, branded irresponsible and insensitive by major TV networks.

Dr. King’s dream ended when he was killed by a white racist. Black leadership swung to the other side, represented by Malcolm X. It was a sad premonition for the future of black America that Malcolm X was then killed by a black man.

If we fast forward 5 decades, we have not seen improvement in many areas of the black community. In fact, quite the opposite, blacks are measurably much worse off than they once were. I think a change is in order, and a quick tour through a rogue’s gallery of those that have led blacks astray will probably convince you of the same.

I wanted to call this the basket of deplorables, but the phrase was taken by Sick Hillary. So I am calling it the Rogue’s Gallery.

Unlike Hillary who painted millions of Americans with a broad brush, I am taking specific aim at leaders who have hurt black America much more than they helped it.

I am keeping this list to a small selection of the actual rogue’s gallery because we could spend all night listing leaders who have hurt black people in this country in exchange for power or a quick profit.

LBJ became president when Kennedy was murdered. His presidency spelled the beginning of tough times for black America.

In the short term, he escalated the Vietnam war, which cost the lives of soldiers of all backgrounds, including blacks.

In the long term, he created the Great Society, which left him with a legacy as a civil rights champion. That legacy is not deserved, because the great society created a permanent welfare state and installed blacks as an underclass.

LBJ created a world for black people where the Democrat party is their only choice. Herman Cain calls the Democrat party the plantation, and voting Republican is leaving the plantation.

LBJ was a racist. I will leave it up to you to Google some of his quotes about black people!

Jesse Jackson an example of the new breed of civil rights leader that came up after MLK. People interested in personal power and personal wealth at the expense of the people he supposedly dedicated his life to.

Jackson invented things you may find commonplace now. Like black leaders magically appearing when a black person is killed by the police, but disappearing when blacks kill each other.

Many of your parents could tell you about Jackson’s most infamous incident, calling New York City “Hymietown” because of its large jewish population. I guess he doesn’t like the jews… he is like Richard Spencer with a tan.

Throughout his career as a black leader, Jesse Jackson has enriched himself. He has an estimated worth of $10 Million dollars, and his Rainbow PUSH Coalition sounds a bit like the Clinton Foundation — friends and family do well out of it but no one else does.

For example, Jackson once spearheaded a boycott of Budweiser beer. Years later, two of his sons got a sweetheart deal for a Budweiser distributorship in Chicago. Guess who never said a peep about Budweiser again?

Jackson cares about himself, not black people. He famously said about President Obama on a live mic “I want to cut his nuts off”

Jackson pioneered the opportunism we’d see from future prominent black leaders. It turns out race relations is a business, and business is good.

The Clintons are no friend to black America, despite blacks voting for both Bill and Hillary in overwhelming numbers. Can you believe that Bill Clinton was once called “The first black president”?

Bill Clinton’s crime bill put a lot of black men in prison for very long periods. When pundits ask where all the black fathers are, we know a good number are in prison!

We can’t have this pair in the Rogue’s Gallery without recalling Hillary’s famous quotes about the 1994 crime bill:

“They are not just gangs of kids anymore…they are often the kinds of kids that are called ‘super-predators.’ No conscience, no empathy. We can talk about why they ended up that way, but first we have to bring them to heel.”

Bring them to heel. Like a dog, I think she means.

Like you were brought to heel by the Middle Eastern countries that funded your campaign along with radical terror groups?

Of course we know the Clinton’s have profited to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars. Quite a bit of the money in the Clinton Foundation was for disaster relief in places like Haiti, where essentially no Clinton Cash ended up going.

The Clintons represent three decades of the Democrat party being completely sure of getting the black vote, while doing nothing to help the black community in return.

Democrats don’t understand what is wrong in the black community or how to fix it. If they do, they don’t care.

Al Sharpton has a long history of leading black people by inciting division between the races. Some of his most infamous moments are outright hoaxes.

He was involved in the Tawana Brawley rape hoax. It might not have been the first race hoax ever, but it was certainly the first high profile one.

He has been involved in protests against police and whites that have had real effects, like the deaths of innocent and unrelated parties.

Now he makes a reported $500,000 a year to be on MSNBC. He has a net worth estimated at $5 million. Dividing blacks and whites really pays off. At least for a few people.

Sharpton owed nearly that much to the government in taxes. The only people he should be protesting are the IRS.

Al Sharpton is all about the money. His career as a leader for black people can be summed up by the advertisement he made in 2005 for Loanmax, a title loan company. Title loans can have outrageous interest, up to 300% annual percentage rate, but Al didn’t care because he could get a check.

Black Lives Matter is the culmination of racial divide. They’re nothing more than the last socially acceptable hate group in America. They’re the only group dedicated to racial hatred in America that it’s OK to praise around a Manhattan dinner table, or at a D.C fundraiser. They march on the streets calling for the deaths of white police officers, and receive praise in gushing Atlantic essays the following morning. They’ve taken the opportunism of their predecessors and added in the worst identity politics of feminism, marxism, and every other negative ‘ism’ you can think of.

The leadership of Black Lives Matter is loose and evasive, especially if you are asking where donations went to. There’s Johnetta Elzie, who i was worried about fitting on a slide.

There’s Deray McKesson, who pals around pretty closely with Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey. There’s a revolving cast of other characters involved in black lives matter, but what I’m really curious about is why women and gay men are the new leaders of the black community?

Black Lives Matter is the ultimate divisive movement. They aren’t shy about what they don’t like, which is western civilization, capitalism, and the rule of law. They really dislike the police, and certainly get the credit for the war between black men and police.

You’ve experienced this right here in Milwaukee. Rioting Milwaukee citizens were actively looking for white targets, as captured on periscope videos, youtube, and other sources… just not the mainstream media.

What has BLM actually done, besides further divide white people and black people? Just look at how upset they get when we say “All Lives Matter”. They get furious!

The problem with Black Lives Matter is that the opportunism is obvious to the naked eye. Black Lives Matter when taken by white people or the police. They stay silent otherwise.

Sheriff David Clarke, one of the best lawmen in this country, says it best:

“Black Lives Matter has no more to do with black issues than Students for a Democratic Society had to do with Democracy. They are means to an end, and they use the black population as sacrifices for their goals. When black celebrities like Beyoncé jump on board I can only wonder what their goals are – more ticket sales? An easy pass from the liberals who control their contracts? It certainly is not to help their community.”

Sheriff Clarke goes so far as to call it a war, with BLM as the enemy. Sheriff Clarke is a serious guy… when he speaks, America should listen.

And if there is any question who ISN’T listening to Sheriff Clarke, here is a picture of the UW Madison Student Government. They support BLM, but that is the stunning and brave thing for university students to do.

I’ve saved a very special friend for last, Shaun King. He is the whitest black supremacist in America, and was booted out of Black Lives Matter following my reporting on his heritage.

The best way to know Shaun King is white is the way he threw his mom under the bus when it was alleged he wasn’t half black. What black guy would do that to his own mama?

Shaun is as shady as they come, the ultimate Black Lives Matter opportunist, as Sheriff Clarke would describe him.

He has engaged in so much strange behavior over the last year I’m not going to waste your time trying to catalogue it. I will tell you my favorite bit, which was when he wrote me a bizarre email claiming I am obsessed with him, the NRA is a white supremacist organization — that will come as a shock to Sheriff Clarke, who both frequently works with the NRA and is an actual black man — and that the game of pool is a racial symbol. I suppose because the white cue ball hits the colored balls?

And if all that wasn’t enough, Shaun King also looks eerily similar to Manny Escuela, a character from Grand Theft Auto 4.

Ironically enough, Manny also feigns a desire to help the inner-city community all while trying to boost his own social status and achieve fame.

We will revisit Shaun King in a few minutes, but the rogue’s gallery wouldn’t be complete without this particular gringo.

Those in the rogue’s gallery get a big helping hand from the media, which is happy to push fake news in the interest of left-wing politics.

Consider the birth of Black Lives Matter in Ferguson Missouri. The media pushed the meme of “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot”

It is a simple falsehood. Hands up, don’t shoot is NOT what happened in Ferguson Missouri. Yet the media told us it was, and that is certainly what many in the black community still believe.

Everyone got in on the act, and it only inflamed tensions between blacks and the police.

Whenever the media talks about fake news pointing at Breitbart and other alternative media, I think of the burning cities and blood on the streets due to hands up don’t shoot and other fake news concepts.

Remember that NBC edited the George Zimmerman 9-1-1 call to make it sound like he brought up race first, as opposed to answering a question. This is another example of the media fanning the flames.

The final fake news example I will bring you is again from the Milwaukee riots this year. Sylville Smith was shot by a black cop after pointing a gun at him. His sister Sherelle Smith was shown on the news, but most media sources showed only have of her quote.

They showed her saying with great passion:

“Burning down shit ain’t gonna help nothin’,”

“You’re burnin’ down shit we need in our community.”

The full quote from Smith’s sister is more in line with Black Lives Matter:

“Burning down shit ain’t gonna help nothin’,”

“You’re burnin’ down shit we need in our community.”

“Take that shit to the suburbs. Burn that shit down!”

“We need our shit! We need our weave! I don’t wear it, but we need it!”

Maybe the mainstream media will stop with the fake news, but I wouldn’t hold your breath.

Chicago is just down the highway from here, and is the perfect example of how liberals always get race issues wrong.

The city has terrible black on black crime, but Black Lives Matter and the other black leaders are NEVER around.

The leading health hazard to black men isn’t obesity or heart disease, it is living in Chicago!

Chicago is currently at 742 homicides in 2016, it will probably go up by the time people watch this speech on Youtube.

That’s close to doubling the 2015 numbers. About 78% of the victims are black, and the vast majority of those people were killed by guns shot by other black people.

But Chicago has some of, if not the tightest gun laws in the country! The Mayor is an Obama insider, and the city has been under Democrat control forever!

None of this makes sense to the typical liberal, and black leaders simply choose to ignore it.

The policies of liberalism could never fix Chicago and can only make it worse. Chicago doesn’t need government programs, it needs jobs. It needs the safety for the citizens of its worst neighborhoods like Austin and Englewood to know they can walk down the street without dodging bullets.

Donald Trump pointed all of this out, and the left went crazy and called him a racist. But many black people are brave enough to stand up and say the same things.

Fix infrastructure and jobs, bring some safety, and war-torn communities can actually thrive. To say nothing about schools — again, never mentioned by black leaders.

At some point Chicagoans will get tired of living like they are in Aleppo instead of in one off the top cities in the United States.

Hatefacts:

No speech on race baiting would be complete with several statistics that liberals would call hate facts, because it is easier than dealing with the truth.

Black Lives Matter focuses on shootings of black people by police to drive a wedge between black people and well… everyone else. Here are the real facts, for your consideration.

It’s from the work of Criminologist Dr. Richard Johnson of the University of Toledo.

Based on 2012 numbers, it would take 40 YEARS worth of blacks killed by police to equal the total of blacks murdered by other blacks is a SINGLE YEAR
900 people have been killed by cops in 2016. 47% are white males, 24% are black males. Black men are not killed out of proportion especially considering that they are much more likely to interact with cops.
People are killed by police about as often as they are killed by lightning. Why don’t I see protests about storms?
Black males are 58% of those killed legally by private citizens in self defense. You may think that is an AH HA! Moment about racist whites, but 75% of those were killed by other blacks.

FBI statistics on Murder lay bare the real threats to black lives in America:

Black men are about 6.5% of the US population, but commit 52% of all murders over a 30 year period. That has dipped to about 40% in recent years.
Black men overwhelmingly murder other black people. White people overwhelmingly murder other white people.
Looking at overall violent crime, blacks are 27 times more likely to attack whites than vice versa, and 8 times more likely to attack hispanics.
This is the shocking number I hope you take away from my visit- 90% of blacks that die of murder die at the hands of other black people. That’s from the FBI Homicide Report

Much of the modern race divide as practiced by Black Lives Matter is built on the idea of white privilege. Let me tell you black people, when you’re rubbing shoulders with crazy feminists on ideas like privilege, you need to run away screaming.

Male Privilege is bullshit, and white privilege is too.

If White privilege is a thing, why are people working so hard to be black? All of the award shows and cultural events favor black culture.

Shaun King does his damnedest to be a black man despite the handicap of being born white to two white parents.

Some people, the bravest people, have come out as trans-black. My favorite one is Rachel Dolezal.

Dolezal is the real deal when it comes to trans-blackness. She has apparently altered her appearance through atomic tanning sessions and a pact with the devil for kinky hair – which, ironically, cis-black women spend their entire lives fighting against – all in an effort to embrace her imaginary inner blackness and reject her German and Czech dead-ethnicities.

America used to call this “going native”.

She is a professor of Africana Education at Eastern Washington University. Personally I am clueless about “Africana education” outside of a bedroom context.

Dolezal is also the president of the local NAACP chapter, in which capacity she came to the attention of local media by claiming several racial threats which the police have not been able to verify as credible.

Let me tell you, you aren’t really trans-black until you have that vital racial threat against you.

She has a fake black dad! She pretends her adopted black brother is actually her son! Who takes things that far besides crazy white girls?

More importantly, why would even a crazy person go to all this struggle to shed the amazing privilege of being white? The answer is simple…. White privilege isn’t real.

If it were, then how exactly do you explain the decline in record sales and/or success of The King of Pop during his “transition”, hmm? Riddle me that.

Listen, I’m practically trans-black myself, especially if you consider my sex life.

Part of the reason I picked this topic is that I sincerely believe All Lives Matter, including white people, black people, and every other color.

Americans need to unite, not be divided by something as petty as race. There are enough people outside of America that want to destroy it that you don’t need this internal division.

Black Americans must find leadership that isn’t opportunistic or destructive. A war on police and a war on white people will never benefit anybody.

I’m sorry that it takes a gay British guy to give you the unvarnished truth, but that should tell you something about the people who claim to have your interests at heart.

Thank you for your attention this evening, I’d like to open up the floor for questions. As always, no preference will be given for accepting questions based on race, gender, or sexual orientation. Sorry trans-blacks, get in line!

Quote of the Times;
If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the state can shield the people from the political, economic and / or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the state to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the state. – Goebbels

Link of the Times;
https://offgridsurvival.com/
Insolvent?
A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master.

"So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?"

"40," replies the dog.

"How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!"

"I know," says the dog. "However I rounded them up."

*.*

Without further ado, I am proud to present Milo’s MTV reboots:

Daria bin Laden — Daria was a lesbian icon, a proto-SJW without the bad dye job. Why not bring her back as the ultimate Muslim cartoon character? Costs would be low: Daria and the other key female characters would be in burkas the whole time. Daria could go on amazing adventures, like praising the stoning of women and telling ignorant American characters how important female genital mutilation is to her culture. The whole first season could be about her arranged marriage. This show practically writes itself! I would have to make sure that Daria’s best friend Jane Lane dies in an honor killing, because I always hated that bitch.

Pimp My Ride: Da’esh Edition — There is a whole army of ISIS heartthrobs riding around in plain white Toyota trucks paid for by the CIA, or whoever. But you can’t be a stylish terrorist in a factory fresh pickup, so MTV is going to help you pimp your ride! Yes, the format is the same, there will still be the requisite, “Yo dawg, we heard you like weapons, so we added forward and rear-facing machine guns.” Not only will every episode be heartwarming as a Jihadist gets the terror platform of their dreams, western audiences will pick up useful armor tips for driving around danger zones like Columbus, Ohio, Dearborn, Michigan and of course Chiraq.

MTV Uneaten — The acoustic concert program MTV Unplugged can’t return in its original form, because there just isn’t enough decent SJW talent. So MTV Unplugged will now be MTV Uneaten, featuring obese feminists gorging themselves half to death, live on TV, to the sympathetic cooing of the presenters. Each week will feature a different cuisine — or, as is more likely, pizza joint — and the larger-than-life ladies will eat and drink their fill in between complimenting each other’s health as women of size, and of course their amazing bravery.

Viva La BLM — Bam Margera doesn’t fit with the new MTV. He’s too white, and too male. Viva La Bam will return as the network’s flagship show about Black Lives Matter. The crew will pull hilarious pranks like threatening police officers, burning down the local 7-Eleven, stealing plasma TVs and making life hell for other black people. One problem here will be pinning down the cast, Black Lives Matter leaders are notorious for disappearing as soon as accountability comes around. But the network people can work out these little details — that’s why they make the big bucks. Besides, it’s not like BLM is lacking in braindead frauds and attention-seekers. Shaun King and Deray were made for reality TV.

The Real SJW World — The Real World was MTV’s original reality series, combining a cast of strangers that fit into convenient character types in an early effort to brainwash young adults. It needs rebooting to include a cast that’s strictly progressive. Imagine the fireworks when the whole house competes to be the biggest victim! What better chance to show how tolerant Europe has become by a group of genderqueers visiting the “jungle” in Calais — or staging a gay pride parade outside a mosque in Paris? I suppose you can have a white straight male in the house, but only as the requisite villain who gets lynched in the second episode. Of course MTV will be limited to seasons in a few cities like San Francisco, but I’d still watch it.

Beavis and Butthead — Mike Judge’s beloved metalheads will be the only classic MTV show to come back more or less true to the original material. This is MTV’s opportunity to continue mocking white males — the whole point of their YouTube tips video. The existing fanbase will love it, and SJWs can watch it ironically to remember just how evil white males are on days they don’t leave the echo chamber. At the end of the first season, MTV can join the newest liberal cause of making pedophiles cool and acceptable people by including a plotline in which Beavis and Butt-head separately have love affairs with male teachers

*.*

Oneliners:

“Ryan Reynolds” sounds a lot like a Stan Lee character.

If we pop bubble wrap made in China, the air that comes out is from China.

If I had a PhD, I’d buy takeout a lot, and when it got to me I’d say “this is just what the doctor ordered.”

I think the Wicked Witch kept the flying monkeys around to mask her terrible smell since she could never shower.

Somewhere, there’s a 50-year-old billionaire whose future trophy wife hasn’t even born yet.

Rap songs that reference dollar values won’t adjust for inflation and the references will sound cheaper over time.

When you’re criticized for being short, they’re really just saying the worst thing about you is that there isn’t more of you.

*.*

The most frustrating part about barricading yourself in your home and having an armed standoff with police is that when you call for pizza delivery, they never show up!

You'd think the place would be easy enough to find, what with the flashing lights and all those cops to provide directions.

*.*

Love is holding hands in the street
Marriage is holding arguments in the street

Love is cuddling on a sofa
Marriage is deciding on a sofa

Love is going to bed early
Marriage is going to sleep early

Love is a flickering flame
Marriage is a flickering television

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!"

Issue of the Times;
Just a quick reminder: the Federal Reserve is Almost Insolvent by Simon Black

September 10, 2008 was one of the last “normal” days in the world of banking and finance. That afternoon, the US Federal Reserve published its routine, weekly balance sheet report, indicating that the central bank had total assets worth around $925 billion. Just a few days later, Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy, kicking off the most severe economic crisis since the Great Depression. And almost immediately the Fed launched a series of unprecedented measures in a desperate attempt to contain the damage. They called it “Quantitative Easing”, which was a fancy way of saying the Federal Reserve was printing money and giving it to the banks and US government. When the commercial banks needed to sell their non-performing toxic assets, the Fed printed money to buy that garbage. When the US government needed to borrow trillions of dollars to bail out failing companies, the Fed printed money and loaned it to Uncle Sam.

By January 2015, the size of the Fed’s balance sheet had more than quadrupled to $4.5 trillion. It was an astonishing increase; the Fed had essentially conjured more than 3.5 trillion dollars out of thin air. In exchange for all at printed money, the Fed had purchased a bunch of assets, including about $2.4 trillion worth of US government bonds. This ranks the Fed as one of the top owners of US government debt, just behind the Social Security trust funds. In fact the US government owes more money to the Federal Reserve than to China, Japan, and Saudi Arabia combined.

Now, remember that interest rates were at historic lows during the time that the Fed was buying up all that US government debt. From the start of the financial crisis in September 2008 until the day the Fed’s balance sheet peaked in January 2015, the average yield on the 10-year US Treasury was about 2.6%. That’s close to where the 10-year yield is today; just last week it was 2.62%.

This is where things quickly get out of control.

If you don’t know anything about bonds, there’s just one important principle to understand: as interest rates go up, bond prices go down. Just like shares of Apple or Exxon, bonds are financial securities. Investors pay a certain price for bonds just like they pay a certain price for Apple stock. And just like stock prices, bond prices go up and down. Think about it like this: let’s say you own a government bond that pays $25 per year in interest. That $25 per year is set in stone. It’s a contract. And today, the market price for that bond is $1,000. So, in very simple terms, an investor is paying $1,000 for the bond’s $25 annual income stream. That works out to be a 2.5% annual return (not including maturity). At the moment, investors are happy to receive 2.5% because that’s the current rate across most of the market. But let’s say tomorrow the Federal Reserve jacks up interest rates to 10%. Everything changes. Investors can now make 10% just holding money in a bank account.
The bond you own, however, still pays $25 per year. That hasn’t changed. So if you want to sell it, you’ll have to slash the price; no investor will pay $1,000 to earn just 2.5% from the $25/year income stream. Investors can now get 10% elsewhere in the market.

So in order for your bond’s $25/year income stream to match the 10% return that a potential buyer can receive elsewhere, you’ll have to drop your price to just $250. In other words, the price of your bond has dropped 75%, from $1,000 to $250. This is an extreme and simplistic example, but it paints the picture: when interest rates rise, bond prices fall. So let’s go back to the Federal Reserve and its $2.4 trillion government bond portfolio. The Fed recently raised interest rates. And they claim they’ll continue to raise rates for the next 1-2 years. But as we discovered earlier, as the Fed raises rates, the value of their bonds will fall… and the Fed will suffer “unrealized losses”. This is a gigantic problem because the Fed can’t afford to suffer any losses. Since the start of the financial crisis, the Fed has whittled down its capital buffer to almost nothing-- right around $40 billion. This means that the Fed can only afford to lose $40 billion before going bust.

$40 billion might sound like a lot. But considering the Fed has $2.4 trillion in government bonds, and $4.5 trillion in total assets, $40 billion is nothing-- just 0.9% of the Fed’s total asset portfolio. So if bond prices fall by just 0.9%, i.e. interest rates go up just slightly, the Fed will be insolvent. This is already happening: as interest rates have risen, bond prices are starting to fall. And based on the Fed’s own data, they’re already sitting on $14.2 billion in net unrealized losses. So a big chunk of their tiny $40 billion capital buffer has already been wiped out. As interest rates continue to rise, the rest of that $40 billion will vanish, at which point the Fed will be completely bankrupt. And the US government, which itself is totally insolvent, won’t be in a position to bail them out. Look, I’m an optimist. I think these are exciting times and that there’s a ton of incredible opportunity around the world. But it would be seriously foolish to ignore the looming insolvency of the world’s most systematically important central bank.

Two words: Own gold.

Quote of the Times;
Faith in God includes faith in His timing.

Link of the Times;
https://www.themanlyclub.com/
Newspaper?
Oneliners:

The CEO of Apple says they will add new security alerts for iCloud users in two weeks. "As soon as they're done downloading the rest of those Jennifer Lawrence pictures."

Starbucks admits there is no actual pumpkin in its Pumpkin Spice Latte. I don't know about you, but I wasn't really counting on there being any actual frap in my Frappuccino.

Olive Garden is offering a Never-Ending Pasta Pass, where you can get all-you-can-eat pasta for 7 weeks for $100. Perfect for those Americans struggling to carbo load.

Dear Lord, I don't need to remember everything. Just what I changed my password to. Amen.

The new Apple Watch can track your movements to tell you how much you've exercised in a day. It's already given me the nickname, "Kushy job."

*.*

PRISTINA, KOSOVO — During a recent trip to visit U.S. troops in Iraq, Joint Chiefs Chairman Gen. Martin Dempsey was suddenly reminded of the U.S. military’s 15-year mission in Kosovo while glancing at a commercial on the American Forces Network.

“All of a sudden, this commercial aired on AFN, saying that KFOR [Kosovo Force] was ‘ready and relevant’ in the 21st Century. And I’m like ‘what the hell, we still have troops there?”

U.S. troops first arrived in Kosovo in 1999, when Bill Clinton was still president and the Spice Girls were still together. While it would be years before “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” would air on television, the American public was, fortunately, not required to express any interest in military action, as a major sex scandal rocked the Clinton White House the previous year.

“Kosovo? Man, I haven’t thought of that since, well, since Britney Spears still had her original tits!” Army Chief of Staff Gen. Ray Odierno remarked, when asked about the enduring mission of U.S. troops in KFOR.

Kosovo was in the throes of a major humanitarian crisis in the late 1990s, following massive “ethnic cleansing” by the Serbian government and a NATO-led bombing campaign which culminated in a cease-fire. But the nearly 14-year-long Operation Enduring Clusterfuck in Iraq and Afghanistan that kicked off in late 2001 overshadowed the Kosovo mission, however.

That is not to say that Kosovo completely disappeared from public view. In 2013, Lt. Col. Andrew Stephens, a logistics officer in the 3rd Brigade, 10th Mountain Division, mentioned his sole deployment to Kosovo at every opportunity — and was frequently met with eye-rolling from veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan.

In 2012, soldiers from the Georgia National Guard made headlines when their entire company was evicted from Kosovo following a massive hazing ring.

“It appears they got pretty bored and resorted to hazing,” said one Army officer who spoke on condition of anonymity, although why he needed to be anonymous to discuss a mission no one gives a shit about was unclear. “I mean, it’s Kosovo, what else were they going to do?”
When queried about the activities of U.S. forces in KFOR, Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel could only respond, “Basically, KFOR’s been spending the last 15 years making AFN commercials about how relevant they think they are.”

*.*

Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time.

After inquiring about each other's health one asked how the other's husband was doing.

"Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"

"Oh dear! I'm very sorry." replied her friend "What did you do?"

"Opened a can of peas instead."

*.*

Strange warnings on items.

On a packet of juggling balls:
"This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters. Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA."

On a bottle of flavored milk drink:
"After opening, keep upright."

On a can of windscreen de-icing spray:
"Spray works in sub-zero temperatures."

On a can of insect spray:
"Kills all kinds of insects! Warning: this spray is harmful to bees."

*.*

A 26,000-acre wildfire last year in Douglas County, Oregon, was traced to two men who were using power mowers despite restrictions on their use, due to extreme fire conditions. The fire took a month to extinguish. And, state law says, Dominic Decarlo, 70, and Cloyd Deardorff, 64, who have already paid minor fines for unlawful entry into a restricted forestland area, also have to reimburse the state for the firefighting costs, including firefighter salaries, helicopter and bulldozer time, and everything else involved in the effort.

How much? Despite a year of tallying, the state doesn’t know yet, says Jeff Bonebrake of the Oregon Dept. of Forestry. “We could get finalization in the next several weeks or a few more months.” But so far, the tally is more than $37 million. ...Plus interest.

Issue of the Times;
Thomas Jefferson to John Norvell

14 June 1807 Works 10:417—18

To your request of my opinion of the manner in which a newspaper should be conducted, so as to be most useful, I should answer, "by restraining it to true facts & sound principles only." Yet I fear such a paper would find few subscribers. It is a melancholy truth, that a suppression of the press could not more completely deprive the nation of it's benefits, than is done by it's abandoned prostitution to falsehood. Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day. I really look with commiseration over the great body of my fellow citizens, who, reading newspapers, live & die in the belief, that they have known something of what has been passing in the world in their time; whereas the accounts they have read in newspapers are just as true a history of any other period of the world as of the present, except that the real names of the day are affixed to their fables. General facts may indeed be collected from them, such as that Europe is now at war, that Bonaparte has been a successful warrior, that he has subjected a great portion of Europe to his will, &c., &c.; but no details can be relied on. I will add, that the man who never looks into a newspaper is better informed than he who reads them; inasmuch as he who knows nothing is nearer to truth than he whose mind is filled with falsehoods & errors. He who reads nothing will still learn the great facts, and the details are all false.

Perhaps an editor might begin a reformation in some such way as this. Divide his paper into 4 chapters, heading the 1st, Truths. 2d, Probabilities. 3d, Possibilities. 4th, Lies. The first chapter would be very short, as it would contain little more than authentic papers, and information from such sources as the editor would be willing to risk his own reputation for their truth. The 2d would contain what, from a mature consideration of all circumstances, his judgment should conclude to be probably true. This, however, should rather contain too little than too much. The 3d & 4th should be professedly for those readers who would rather have lies for their money than the blank paper they would occupy.

The Founders' Constitution
Volume 5, Amendment I (Speech and Press), Document 29
http://press-pubs.uchicago.edu/founders/documents/amendI_speechs29.html
The University of Chicago Press

The Works of Thomas Jefferson. Collected and edited by Paul Leicester Ford. Federal Edition. 12 vols. New York and London: G. P. Putnam's Sons, 1904--5.

Quote of the Times;
There is no greater evil one can suffer that to hate reasonable discourse. – Plato

Link of the Times;
https://relampagofurioso.com/
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And someone shot a duck.

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