Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven was a registered six offender.
*.*
A man stops by a cafe for breakfast. After paying the tab, he checks his pockets and leaves his tip - three pennies.
As he strides toward the door, his waitress muses, only half to herself: "You know, you can tell a lot about a man by the tip he leaves."
The man turns around, curiosity getting the better of him. "Oh, really? Tell me, what does my tip say?"
"Well, this penny tells me you're a thrifty man."
Barely able to conceal his pride, the man utters, "Hmmm, true enough."
"And this penny, it tells me you're a bachelor."
Surprised at her perception, he says, "Well, that's true, too."
"And the third penny tells me that your father was one, too."
*.*
Captain Li Shang relieved of command for Toxic Masculinity
CHANGCHUN, China — The Chinese Army relieved a decorated army officer and son of legendary Gen. Li of his command position after details were leaked that the promising young officer had “fostered a command climate of toxic masculinity,” sources confirmed today.
While training recruits for war against the invading Hun Army, Capt. Shang reportedly abused his primarily male recruits, asking if their families had sent daughters when he’d asked for sons. Several of Li’s troops have come forward with allegations against him, and many more anonymous complaints have been received by Imperial Headquarters.
Li screamed at his troops to “be a man” no less than nine times, according to eyewitnesses. Several other reports claim he told the trainees he would “make a man out of them.”
Imperial advisor Chi Fu was appointed to investigate the claims, a decision met with criticism. One recruit, Fa Ping, has reported that Chi is equally misogynistic in his regular professional conduct. Despite the criticism and expectations that the investigation would quickly exonerate the captain, Chi claims to have already found staggering evidence of an anti-woman command culture.
“The captain and troops have accused me of squealing like a girl, revealing what is clearly a culture of systemic misogyny,” said Chi Fu. “And that’s only what I experienced directly. I have heard whispers that Shang would be willing to execute a woman simply for joining the army, which I would have no part of. I am completely loyal to the emperor’s intersectional guidance plan and believe that our strength is not in what’s considered ‘manly,’ but rather diversity.”
The toxic masculinity scandal has rocked the Chinese Army particularly hard as it comes on the heels of a sensational report that claims nearly 100 percent of the troops were the same race, dipping readiness far below necessary levels. The one silver lining according to that report was that the army had exactly zero white males, a welcome statistic.
*.*
Oneliners:
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
What happens when none of your bees wax?
*.*
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude?"
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “You'd be eating alone."
Quote of the Times;
The "Countering Disinformation and Propaganda Act" included in the National Defense Authorization Act for fiscal year 2017 that Obama signed; it expired Dec 2018. $160 million, 2 years, 1000 journalist laid off. Comes out to $80K annual salary & benefits. Coincidence?
Link of the Times;
https://www.lifenews.com/2015/10/22/hackers-release-shocking-planned-parenthood-videos-we-cant-stop-selling-baby-parts/
Issue of the Times;
Socialism Can Kill You, But It Can’t Bury You by Sultan Knish
Venezuela, a failing socialist state, has gifted its people with the sixth minimum wage hike in one year. The 150% increase last week won’t help too much because inflation is up to 1,700,000 percent.
Yes, you read that correctly.
Minimum wage hikes don’t help when your currency isn’t worth the cost of the paper it’s printed on. That’s literally true in Venezuela, which has tried switching to an even more worthless cryptocurrency.
Forget the #Fightfor15, in Venezuela it’s a fight to afford basic food supplies or even a cup of coffee.
The cost of a cup of coffee rose 285,614% in a year and doubled in seven days. Under the new currency, you can grab a cup of the good stuff for 400 bolivars. Too bad that the minimum wage is 4,800 bolivars and 90% of the population is impoverished. It isn’t looking to buy a cup of coffee, but is starving because it can’t actually buy food. Alternatives have included eating zoo animals, pets and wild donkeys.
“Juntos: todo es possible”, the Obamaesque slogan of the regime declaring, “Together, anything is possible”, looms over a frightened starving population from billboards decorated with socialist icons.
The trouble is that anything really is possible. It’s possible to starve to death, to sit in the dark because there’s no power, to be unable to go to work because there’s no fuel, to be killed in food riots by government thugs, to have your savings wiped out, or to die of a treatable illness because there’s no medicine. Socialism has made “anything” possible in Venezuela. But all the possibilities are horrifying.
The regime’s other election slogan was, “Vamos Venezuela”. And Venezuelans are going.
10% of the population has fled Venezuela escaping through Simon Bolivar Airport, which has no water, no working toilets, no air conditioning and barely any power, where government thugs demand money and jewelry from passengers, or just marching on foot to escape the socialist mess any way they can.
Those Venezuelans who remain can’t find medicine, lack drinking water and can’t even afford to die.
The death rate in Venezuela is high. Between gang violence, outbreaks of disease and food riots, the corpses are piling up, and no one can afford to bury the dead.
Two years ago, a public cemetery charged 240,000 bolivars for a burial, while private cemeteries charged 400,000. The casket alone could cost 100,000 bolivars. Not that it matters because caskets have become hard to obtain due to shortages of wood and metal.
The number of zeroes may have changed with the new currency, but has become no more affordable.
Meanwhile, cemeteries, like every business, have seen employees vanish to wait on food lines or work in the black market, which means that not only can’t you bury the dead, but there’s no one to do the burying. Not only did socialism force Venezuelans to wait on line to buy food to live, they also had to wait on line after they were dead. Socialism is defined by the line. You are born into it and die on line.
After funerals became unaffordable, Venezuelans settled for cremating the dead. But the iron law of supply and demand quickly fell into place. As demand for cremation increased, so did the cost.
It wasn’t just the cost of a cup of coffee that doubled in a week: the cost of cremation rose 108%.
Major General Manuel Quevedo , the 2019 president of OPEC, is Venezuelan even as the country’s mourners can’t afford the cost of the gas with which to burn their dead.
Quevedo, a leftist Lenin-praising thug, was dispatched to take control of Venezuela’s collapsing oil industry, but instead dealt it a fatal blow. Protests were put down by force. Anyone who committed the crime of actually knowing anything about the industry was locked up and replaced by a regime loyalist.
The socialist thug ordered workers to denounce anyone who opposed the government. Instead, 25,000 workers out of 146,000 resigned last year. And it’s worse than the numbers make it look because many of those resigning are engineers and managers who can’t be replaced by hiring just anyone.
Under the socialist military regime, oil production fell 29% as drilling rigs lacked crews and fires broke out in refineries. Those workers that haven’t quit have been selling their uniforms in exchange for food.
Fuel shortages broke out in an OPEC nation as its former production of 2 million barrels of oil dropped to 1.2 million. The situation is now so bad that Venezuela will import 300,000 barrels.
Venezuela is so broken that one of the world’s top oil producers and exporters is now forced to import oil to be able to sell it at artificially subsidized low prices to its population and to repay Russia and China. The Maduro regime keeps touting Russian and Chinese deals as the answer, but the problem is that Venezuela only has one thing that Russia and China want, and it’s too socialist to even get at it.
With a worthless currency, Venezuela is paying America, Russia and China in crude and buying back barrels of oil because under military socialist control, its refineries are no longer functional.
It’s also trading natural gas for barrels of oil, and so Venezuela may have the eight largest gas reserves in the world, but the families of the dead can no longer manage to get natural gas to burn the bodies.
There’s no cooking gas, long lines at gas stations and no way to even cremate the dead.
In the final triumph of socialism, Venezuela’s energy industry has collapsed. There isn’t even enough gas left to burn the corpses left in the aftermath of the failed socialist experiment forcing loved ones to dump them in pits and mass graves.
You can’t live under socialism. You can die under it. But you can’t be buried under socialism.
Socialism killed Venezuela as it will kill any country given enough time. First, you run out of other people’s money. Then wage and price controls destroy the supply and demand of the marketplace. And when there’s nothing left in the stores, a government takeover will consolidate the destruction.
It happened in Venezuela. And it can happen here too.
Seven years ago, Senator Bernie Sanders wrote an editorial, claiming that the, “American dream is more apt to be realized in South America, in places such as Ecuador, Venezuela and Argentina, where incomes are actually more equal today than they are in the land of Horatio Alger.”
“Who's the banana republic now?” he asked.
It’s the socialist dictatorship with no food, no power, no water, no hope and true income equality.
Incomes are more equal in Venezuela. Everyone, except the regime and its loyalists, has nothing. Not even a grave in which to bury the dead. That’s not the American dream, that’s the socialist nightmare.
Bury?
Chains?
Service members currently deployed to Afghanistan were devastated when they learned that Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and her entourage of congressmen had cancelled their planned visit this past weekend, sources confirmed today.
“It’s a shame,” Sgt. 1st Class Mark Klages said. “Morale has gotten get pretty low around here with the holidays being over, the awful weather, the ANA’s incompetence and our confusing strategy, but it would have helped a lot to be talked at by an old lady from San Francisco.”
Some service members seemed confused as to who the current House speaker actually is.
“Pelosi? Of course I’m upset she didn’t come,” Sgt. Frank Lauer said. “She’s the hot Puerto-Rican one right?”
*.*
One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke before 6, but the phone did not ring until 6:30. "Good morning," a young man said sheepishly. "This is your wake-up call."
Annoyed, I let the motel worker have it. "You were supposed to call me at 6 AM!.... I complained. "What if I had a million dollar deal to close this morning, and your oversight made me miss out?"
"Well, sir," the desk clerk boldly replied, "if you had a million dollar deal to close, you'd probably not be staying at THIS motel!"
*.*
AL-RAQQAH, Syria — The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) today announced serious financial difficulties for the cripled caliphate. A spokesman for the apocalyptic death worshippers cited crippling costs associated with the Suicide Bomber Group Life Insurance (SBGLI) program.
“In retrospect, fifteen goats was probably too generous a benefit to pay out to survivors,” said Mohammad Anwar, a spokesman for ISIS.
The SBGLI program was implemented as part of a benefits package for ISIS militants, which also includes health insurance, annual leave, and a prayer rug allowance. The SBGLI program provides payouts to surviving beneficiaries of militants who blast themselves into pink mist amidst a crowd of infidels.
The payout is compounded for militants with multiple surviving wives, as each wife receives the full benefit instead of a fractional amount. The policy’s sustainability is a source of concern among senior ISIS leadership.
“I mean, each militant is already set to receive seventy-two virgins upon their glorious entrance into the afterlife,” said Anwar. “Do their five surviving wives really need a total of seventy-five goats among them? Is the prospect of their deceased husband deflowering seventy-two virgins for eternity not comfort enough?”
The costs of the SBGLI program have had a snowball effect, leading to an international goat shortage and skyrocketing prices. ISIS is currently hemorrhaging financial resources in order to meet payout requirements, and is proposing a reduction in benefits in order to maintain the program’s solvency.
“Perhaps two goats and three chickens,” offered Anwar.
The proposed reduction in benefits is not sitting well with ISIS militants. At press time many ISIS militants were seen prematurely blowing themselves up in protest, further aggravating an already collapsing situation.
*.*
More News?
A man is suing American Airlines after his pinkie was caught in an armrest. For the record, we do mean his little finger.
Stockton, California is the first U.S. city to try a basic income program, with everyone getting $500 a month. $500 a month, for doing absolutely nothing. Gee, I would feel so congressional!
A Missouri man convicted of illegally poaching hundreds of deer over the past several years has been ordered by a judge to watch the movie, "Bambi" once a month, as long as he stays in the county jail.
Canadian researchers are conducting tests on chickens to determine what makes chickens happy. Of course, the obvious question: Why?
Apparently, we must have found the cure for cancer.
Five-time Olympic gold medalist Missy Franklin is retiring at age 23. Yes, she’ll be hanging up whatever it is swimmers hang up.
*.*
My New Year’s health routine; just blend the following ingredients and serve as early in the morning as possible:
3 oz. of carrot juice,
3 oz. of prune juice,
2 oz. of Ex-Lax, (or any other laxative)
4 oz. of Vodka
A little bit of Rogaine,
A little bit of Viagra,
A whole bunch of Prozac.
It's also great for bosses and co-workers.
Bring a batch to work tomorrow!
Quote of the Times;
When elites were stationary in the same territory as their inferiors they had to consider their opinions, even if reluctantly. Now that they are globally mobile and can shift subject populations around they don’t care. - Nahr.
Link of the Times;
https://www.activeresponsetraining.net/how-to-spot-a-bad-guy-a-comprehensive-look-at-body-language-and-pre-assault-indicators
Issue of the Times;
Biden Accuses America of Racism at Racist Event by Daniel Greenfield
Joe "they gonna put y'all back in chains" Biden decided to celebrate the legacy of civil rights by spewing racist nonsense at an event put on by a hate group.
Former Vice President Joe Biden, speaking at a breakfast Monday morning in Washington honoring Martin Luther King Jr., said that white Americans need to acknowledge and admit the fact that systemic racism still exists and must be rooted out.
"The bottom line is we have a lot to root out, but most of all the systematic racism that most of us whites don't like to acknowledge even exists," Biden said at an event hosted by the Rev. Al Sharpton and the National Action Network. "We don't even consciously acknowledge it. But it's been built into every aspect of our system."
Joe would know.
His administration gave a black racist hate group a pass on voter intimidation. It encouraged and promoted race riots that trashed cities like Baltimore. It blatantly intervened in local investigations and politics for racial reasons.
But there's Biden lecturing "most of us whites" on racism at a hate group.
Five young Latino women were among the seven victims of a fire. They were in their late teens and early twenties. They were mothers and daughters. One had two young boys at home. She might have been watching them get married today. Another helped support her mother.
Sharpton had vowed, “We will not stand by and allow them to move this brother so that some white interloper can expand his business”. And he and his National Action Network were true to their word.
Last year, Obama spoke at the National Action Network. But back then, Sharpton’s lieutenant, Morris Powell, headed the Buy Black Committee with the National Action Network and chanted, “Don’t give the Jew a dime” outside Freddy’s Fashion Mart. Other protesters shouted, “Burn, Cracker, burn.”
Powell had escaped in the seventies from a mental hospital after he had attacked a police officer with a lead pipe while shouting, “I am going to kill you, pig.” In the eighties he had been on trial for breaking a Korean woman’s head during another protest.
And Powell defended the killer as “A Black Man who struggled for his people to be free.”
This is what Joe Biden is okay with. Just like his old boss was.
Imagine if MSNBC gave a TV show to a violent racist who led angry mobs against Jewish and Asian communities and businesses. Mobs that gathered outside a Jewish synagogue chanting "Heil Hitler" and "Death to the Jews."
But there can be no talk of Sharpton without discussing the trail of debris behind him. Yankel Rosenbaum, the University of Melbourne student, stabbed and beaten to death on President Street among the stately manors of what was once known as Doctor's Row, was the most famous victim of Sharpton's Crown Height Pogrom, but not the only one.
There was Anthony Graziosi, a white, bearded Italian electronics salesman wearing a dark suit, who was mistaken for a Jew, and died for it. Bracha Estrin, a Holocaust survivor, who saw the mobs chanting "Heil Hitler" and "Death to the Jews" and believing that history was about to repeat itself, jumped rather than fall into their hands.
Twenty years ago this August, a line of bodies was lowered into the ground. And Sharpton walked away with a higher national profile than ever. Three years later, another round of racist protests at Freddy's Fashion Mart with protesters screaming, "Burn down this Jew store!" led to an attack that killed seven minority employees.
This is the ugly racism that Joe Biden consorts with while lecturing Americans on how racist they are.
“It’s a shame,” Sgt. 1st Class Mark Klages said. “Morale has gotten get pretty low around here with the holidays being over, the awful weather, the ANA’s incompetence and our confusing strategy, but it would have helped a lot to be talked at by an old lady from San Francisco.”
Some service members seemed confused as to who the current House speaker actually is.
“Pelosi? Of course I’m upset she didn’t come,” Sgt. Frank Lauer said. “She’s the hot Puerto-Rican one right?”
*.*
One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke before 6, but the phone did not ring until 6:30. "Good morning," a young man said sheepishly. "This is your wake-up call."
Annoyed, I let the motel worker have it. "You were supposed to call me at 6 AM!.... I complained. "What if I had a million dollar deal to close this morning, and your oversight made me miss out?"
"Well, sir," the desk clerk boldly replied, "if you had a million dollar deal to close, you'd probably not be staying at THIS motel!"
*.*
AL-RAQQAH, Syria — The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) today announced serious financial difficulties for the cripled caliphate. A spokesman for the apocalyptic death worshippers cited crippling costs associated with the Suicide Bomber Group Life Insurance (SBGLI) program.
“In retrospect, fifteen goats was probably too generous a benefit to pay out to survivors,” said Mohammad Anwar, a spokesman for ISIS.
The SBGLI program was implemented as part of a benefits package for ISIS militants, which also includes health insurance, annual leave, and a prayer rug allowance. The SBGLI program provides payouts to surviving beneficiaries of militants who blast themselves into pink mist amidst a crowd of infidels.
The payout is compounded for militants with multiple surviving wives, as each wife receives the full benefit instead of a fractional amount. The policy’s sustainability is a source of concern among senior ISIS leadership.
“I mean, each militant is already set to receive seventy-two virgins upon their glorious entrance into the afterlife,” said Anwar. “Do their five surviving wives really need a total of seventy-five goats among them? Is the prospect of their deceased husband deflowering seventy-two virgins for eternity not comfort enough?”
The costs of the SBGLI program have had a snowball effect, leading to an international goat shortage and skyrocketing prices. ISIS is currently hemorrhaging financial resources in order to meet payout requirements, and is proposing a reduction in benefits in order to maintain the program’s solvency.
“Perhaps two goats and three chickens,” offered Anwar.
The proposed reduction in benefits is not sitting well with ISIS militants. At press time many ISIS militants were seen prematurely blowing themselves up in protest, further aggravating an already collapsing situation.
*.*
More News?
A man is suing American Airlines after his pinkie was caught in an armrest. For the record, we do mean his little finger.
Stockton, California is the first U.S. city to try a basic income program, with everyone getting $500 a month. $500 a month, for doing absolutely nothing. Gee, I would feel so congressional!
A Missouri man convicted of illegally poaching hundreds of deer over the past several years has been ordered by a judge to watch the movie, "Bambi" once a month, as long as he stays in the county jail.
Canadian researchers are conducting tests on chickens to determine what makes chickens happy. Of course, the obvious question: Why?
Apparently, we must have found the cure for cancer.
Five-time Olympic gold medalist Missy Franklin is retiring at age 23. Yes, she’ll be hanging up whatever it is swimmers hang up.
*.*
My New Year’s health routine; just blend the following ingredients and serve as early in the morning as possible:
3 oz. of carrot juice,
3 oz. of prune juice,
2 oz. of Ex-Lax, (or any other laxative)
4 oz. of Vodka
A little bit of Rogaine,
A little bit of Viagra,
A whole bunch of Prozac.
It's also great for bosses and co-workers.
Bring a batch to work tomorrow!
Quote of the Times;
When elites were stationary in the same territory as their inferiors they had to consider their opinions, even if reluctantly. Now that they are globally mobile and can shift subject populations around they don’t care. - Nahr.
Link of the Times;
https://www.activeresponsetraining.net/how-to-spot-a-bad-guy-a-comprehensive-look-at-body-language-and-pre-assault-indicators
Issue of the Times;
Biden Accuses America of Racism at Racist Event by Daniel Greenfield
Joe "they gonna put y'all back in chains" Biden decided to celebrate the legacy of civil rights by spewing racist nonsense at an event put on by a hate group.
Former Vice President Joe Biden, speaking at a breakfast Monday morning in Washington honoring Martin Luther King Jr., said that white Americans need to acknowledge and admit the fact that systemic racism still exists and must be rooted out.
"The bottom line is we have a lot to root out, but most of all the systematic racism that most of us whites don't like to acknowledge even exists," Biden said at an event hosted by the Rev. Al Sharpton and the National Action Network. "We don't even consciously acknowledge it. But it's been built into every aspect of our system."
Joe would know.
His administration gave a black racist hate group a pass on voter intimidation. It encouraged and promoted race riots that trashed cities like Baltimore. It blatantly intervened in local investigations and politics for racial reasons.
But there's Biden lecturing "most of us whites" on racism at a hate group.
Five young Latino women were among the seven victims of a fire. They were in their late teens and early twenties. They were mothers and daughters. One had two young boys at home. She might have been watching them get married today. Another helped support her mother.
Sharpton had vowed, “We will not stand by and allow them to move this brother so that some white interloper can expand his business”. And he and his National Action Network were true to their word.
Last year, Obama spoke at the National Action Network. But back then, Sharpton’s lieutenant, Morris Powell, headed the Buy Black Committee with the National Action Network and chanted, “Don’t give the Jew a dime” outside Freddy’s Fashion Mart. Other protesters shouted, “Burn, Cracker, burn.”
Powell had escaped in the seventies from a mental hospital after he had attacked a police officer with a lead pipe while shouting, “I am going to kill you, pig.” In the eighties he had been on trial for breaking a Korean woman’s head during another protest.
And Powell defended the killer as “A Black Man who struggled for his people to be free.”
This is what Joe Biden is okay with. Just like his old boss was.
Imagine if MSNBC gave a TV show to a violent racist who led angry mobs against Jewish and Asian communities and businesses. Mobs that gathered outside a Jewish synagogue chanting "Heil Hitler" and "Death to the Jews."
But there can be no talk of Sharpton without discussing the trail of debris behind him. Yankel Rosenbaum, the University of Melbourne student, stabbed and beaten to death on President Street among the stately manors of what was once known as Doctor's Row, was the most famous victim of Sharpton's Crown Height Pogrom, but not the only one.
There was Anthony Graziosi, a white, bearded Italian electronics salesman wearing a dark suit, who was mistaken for a Jew, and died for it. Bracha Estrin, a Holocaust survivor, who saw the mobs chanting "Heil Hitler" and "Death to the Jews" and believing that history was about to repeat itself, jumped rather than fall into their hands.
Twenty years ago this August, a line of bodies was lowered into the ground. And Sharpton walked away with a higher national profile than ever. Three years later, another round of racist protests at Freddy's Fashion Mart with protesters screaming, "Burn down this Jew store!" led to an attack that killed seven minority employees.
This is the ugly racism that Joe Biden consorts with while lecturing Americans on how racist they are.
Needles?
"Say, Bill," a man said to his pal, "how do you like your new job?"
"It's the worst job I ever had."
"How long have you been there?"
"About three months."
"Why don't you quit?"
"No way. This is the first time in 20 years that I've looked forward to going home."
*.*
A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when the girl stopped the boy.
"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex."
The boy reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After the cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window.
"Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.
"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25."
*.*
Shloimie Applebaum was driving down the highway late one night when his family mini-van broke down. He turned on his flashers and tried to get someone's attention to help him. Eventually a Lamborghini pulls up.
"Any chance I could get a lift into town?" Shloimie asked.
"I can do better than that," the man driving the Lamborghini replied. "I've got a V-12 under this hood, I can tow you to the nearest town, no problem. Just honk your horn and flash your lights if I start going too fast."
They head off down the road and eventually come to a stop light and up pulls a Ferrari with a V-10. The Ferrari began to rev its engine to get the Lamborghini to race. The Lamborghini revs its engine and the light turns green. They fly out of there, and about a half a mile down the road they pass a speed trap.
The officer there watches them pass and radios to base saying, "Base, you will not believe what I just saw. A Ferrari and a Lamborghini were driving down the road doing about 120 with a Hassidic Jew driving a Mini-van honking his horn and flashing his lights trying to pass them!"
*.*
One March day my wife said that the house needed painting.
"It's still winter," I replied. "Forget it."
In April, she told me she had bought some exterior latex. I said that it was still too cold to paint.
In May, I heard her outside one day yelling for help, and we set up the ladder so she could start painting. Then I went inside to get a beer. As I sat in a lawn chair not far from where my wife was working, a neighbour passed by. "Aren't you ashamed?" she asked. "How can you sit there drinking beer while your wife is up on a ladder painting the house?"
Glancing up at my wife, I responded, "She doesn't like beer."
*.*
Groan alert!
A weasel walks into a bar...
The bartender says: "Wow! In all my years of tending bar, I have never served a weasel before! What can I get you?
"Pop," goes the weasel.
Quote of the Times;
"I operate under the assumption that the mass media will never be accurate… It operates with the objective to simplify and exaggerate, which is exactly what Walt Disney told his cartoonists." - Crichton
Link of the Times;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQ0-cDKMS5M
Issue of the Times;
Remember When Starbucks Caved And Opened Their Bathrooms To Non-Customers? Here's How That Worked Out by Matt Walsh
There are so many contrived outrages in a given week, let alone a year, that it can be hard to recall any individual instance of outrage after it has already passed. But the infamous Starbucks bathroom outrage was so phony, so absurd, and so disconnected from anything resembling logic or reason, that it deserves to be remembered.
In case you need a refresher course: a Starbucks manager at a location in Philadelphia came under heavy fire last spring after refusing restroom privileges to two non-customers. The men, who happened to be black, asked to use the restroom but were informed that only paying customers were granted access to the facilities. This was not a policy she invented on her own. At the time, many Starbucks locations enforced this rule, just as many other restaurants and stores enforce similar rules.
The men sat down and took up a table while refusing to purchase something. They were informed, again, that they would have to buy a coffee, or a snack, or anything else, if they wanted to sit at a table or use the bathroom. They continued to refuse. Finally, the manager called the police and reported them for trespassing. The incident went viral. "Racism" was immediately assumed, despite a total lack of evidence to support the charge. The Starbucks CEO publicly threw the loyal employee under the bus. Finally, in their last act of corporate cowardice, Starbucks reversed their restroom policy and announced that anyone, even non-customers, could sit in their restaurants and use their bathrooms.
Fast forward a few months. Certain Starbucks locations, less than a year after announcing this enlightened new restroom philosophy, now must install special disposal boxes for used heroin needles. They'll also be removing regular trashcans from some bathrooms after employees expressed concern about getting pricked with needles while changing out the bags. There have been reports of condoms, alcohol bottles, and blood stains on the floors. Indeed, this bathroom free-for-all has made bathrooms ironically less accessible as some Starbucks restaurants have had to close their stalls for extended periods due to, says the New York Post, "prolonged cleaning."
It may be fairly pointed out that Starbucks probably had many of these problems even before the new policy. Yes, and that's exactly the point. That's why the policy existed in the first place. A spacious, private, single-stall bathroom at a Starbucks in an urban area is an attractive place for drug addicts, drunks, vagrants, and other assorted characters. Most businesses are not interested in becoming de facto homeless shelters or halfway homes. Historically, that's why they reserve their bathrooms and their tables for people who are actually interested in purchasing their products. It's not a fail-proof plan, but it's relatively effective. There's a reason why these needle disposal boxes only became necessary after they changed the policy.
So, what have we learned here? It's likely that the suits at Starbucks have learned exactly zilch. The rest of us, though, have again discovered that caving to the unthinking, outraged masses will profit you nothing in the end. If you abandon a thoughtful, well-reasoned path just because a bunch of imbeciles are shouting some word that ends with -ist or -phobic, you will ultimately pay a much higher price than whatever price the imbeciles may have been able to extract. You'll wind up shamed and embarrassed, with blood stains on your floor and heroin needles in your trashcan.
But at least no one will call you a racist.
"It's the worst job I ever had."
"How long have you been there?"
"About three months."
"Why don't you quit?"
"No way. This is the first time in 20 years that I've looked forward to going home."
*.*
A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when the girl stopped the boy.
"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex."
The boy reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After the cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window.
"Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.
"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25."
*.*
Shloimie Applebaum was driving down the highway late one night when his family mini-van broke down. He turned on his flashers and tried to get someone's attention to help him. Eventually a Lamborghini pulls up.
"Any chance I could get a lift into town?" Shloimie asked.
"I can do better than that," the man driving the Lamborghini replied. "I've got a V-12 under this hood, I can tow you to the nearest town, no problem. Just honk your horn and flash your lights if I start going too fast."
They head off down the road and eventually come to a stop light and up pulls a Ferrari with a V-10. The Ferrari began to rev its engine to get the Lamborghini to race. The Lamborghini revs its engine and the light turns green. They fly out of there, and about a half a mile down the road they pass a speed trap.
The officer there watches them pass and radios to base saying, "Base, you will not believe what I just saw. A Ferrari and a Lamborghini were driving down the road doing about 120 with a Hassidic Jew driving a Mini-van honking his horn and flashing his lights trying to pass them!"
*.*
One March day my wife said that the house needed painting.
"It's still winter," I replied. "Forget it."
In April, she told me she had bought some exterior latex. I said that it was still too cold to paint.
In May, I heard her outside one day yelling for help, and we set up the ladder so she could start painting. Then I went inside to get a beer. As I sat in a lawn chair not far from where my wife was working, a neighbour passed by. "Aren't you ashamed?" she asked. "How can you sit there drinking beer while your wife is up on a ladder painting the house?"
Glancing up at my wife, I responded, "She doesn't like beer."
*.*
Groan alert!
A weasel walks into a bar...
The bartender says: "Wow! In all my years of tending bar, I have never served a weasel before! What can I get you?
"Pop," goes the weasel.
Quote of the Times;
"I operate under the assumption that the mass media will never be accurate… It operates with the objective to simplify and exaggerate, which is exactly what Walt Disney told his cartoonists." - Crichton
Link of the Times;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQ0-cDKMS5M
Issue of the Times;
Remember When Starbucks Caved And Opened Their Bathrooms To Non-Customers? Here's How That Worked Out by Matt Walsh
There are so many contrived outrages in a given week, let alone a year, that it can be hard to recall any individual instance of outrage after it has already passed. But the infamous Starbucks bathroom outrage was so phony, so absurd, and so disconnected from anything resembling logic or reason, that it deserves to be remembered.
In case you need a refresher course: a Starbucks manager at a location in Philadelphia came under heavy fire last spring after refusing restroom privileges to two non-customers. The men, who happened to be black, asked to use the restroom but were informed that only paying customers were granted access to the facilities. This was not a policy she invented on her own. At the time, many Starbucks locations enforced this rule, just as many other restaurants and stores enforce similar rules.
The men sat down and took up a table while refusing to purchase something. They were informed, again, that they would have to buy a coffee, or a snack, or anything else, if they wanted to sit at a table or use the bathroom. They continued to refuse. Finally, the manager called the police and reported them for trespassing. The incident went viral. "Racism" was immediately assumed, despite a total lack of evidence to support the charge. The Starbucks CEO publicly threw the loyal employee under the bus. Finally, in their last act of corporate cowardice, Starbucks reversed their restroom policy and announced that anyone, even non-customers, could sit in their restaurants and use their bathrooms.
Fast forward a few months. Certain Starbucks locations, less than a year after announcing this enlightened new restroom philosophy, now must install special disposal boxes for used heroin needles. They'll also be removing regular trashcans from some bathrooms after employees expressed concern about getting pricked with needles while changing out the bags. There have been reports of condoms, alcohol bottles, and blood stains on the floors. Indeed, this bathroom free-for-all has made bathrooms ironically less accessible as some Starbucks restaurants have had to close their stalls for extended periods due to, says the New York Post, "prolonged cleaning."
It may be fairly pointed out that Starbucks probably had many of these problems even before the new policy. Yes, and that's exactly the point. That's why the policy existed in the first place. A spacious, private, single-stall bathroom at a Starbucks in an urban area is an attractive place for drug addicts, drunks, vagrants, and other assorted characters. Most businesses are not interested in becoming de facto homeless shelters or halfway homes. Historically, that's why they reserve their bathrooms and their tables for people who are actually interested in purchasing their products. It's not a fail-proof plan, but it's relatively effective. There's a reason why these needle disposal boxes only became necessary after they changed the policy.
So, what have we learned here? It's likely that the suits at Starbucks have learned exactly zilch. The rest of us, though, have again discovered that caving to the unthinking, outraged masses will profit you nothing in the end. If you abandon a thoughtful, well-reasoned path just because a bunch of imbeciles are shouting some word that ends with -ist or -phobic, you will ultimately pay a much higher price than whatever price the imbeciles may have been able to extract. You'll wind up shamed and embarrassed, with blood stains on your floor and heroin needles in your trashcan.
But at least no one will call you a racist.
Galore?
Jimmy was having problems in English class, so his teacher decided to stop by on her way home to speak with his parents. When she rang the bell, Jimmy answered.
"I'd like to talk to your mother or father," said the teacher.
"Sorry, but they ain't here," he told her.
"Jimmy!" she said, "what is it with your grammar?"
"Beats me," Jimmy replied, "but dad sure was mad that they had t'go bail her out again!"
*.*
Navy Captain Fired After Leading Unauthorized Whaling Expedition
SAN DIEGO, Calif. — The Navy announced it had relieved the captain of the USS Mustin (DDG-89) following an unauthorized whaling expedition during a training exercise off the coast of Antarctica, sources confirmed Tuesday.
Capt. Hikaru Yamamoto led his crew on a modified version of a traditional Japanese whaling expedition in celebration of Asian-American heritage, Navy Secretary Ray Mabus said.
Yamamoto, who is Japanese-American, allegedly taught his sailors to sing ancient coastal fishing songs “while directing his Fire Control Center to unleash a pair of RUM-139 VL-ASROC anti-submarine missiles into a pod of sperm whales,” a Navy investigator told Duffel Blog, speaking on condition of anonymity.
The skipper’s relief is just the latest in a string of high-profile firings of Navy officers, to include a captain and master chief being relieved after raising money from strip clubs, and a master chief and executive officer being fired after making their sailors carry around their own feces along the pier.
Navy investigators said the Mustin’s crew were encouraged to pick through the blood-red sea for the choicest bits of whale flesh, while Yamamoto used the 1MC to regale them with the story of legendary whaler Yoshi Tatsuka while brandishing a replica harpoon, identical to the type used by the Ainu people in pre-feudal Japan.
Unfortunately, during the post-hunt feast preparations, the Greenpeace anti-whaling vessel Harmony arrived on the scene. Activists began to hurl insults at the blood-soaked sailors and demand retribution for their crimes. The event quickly escalated after the Harmony began to use high-intensity focused speakers to bombard the Navy crew with Bob Marley and Beatles hits.
After four zodiac boats launched from the Harmony tried to spray the decks of the Mustin with foul-smelling debris and entangle its propeller with industrial grade netting — tactics similar to those used against modern whaling ships — Capt. Yamamoto initiated defensive procedures and ordered one of the ship’s Phalanx guns turned on the activists.
In less than seven seconds all of the smaller craft had been destroyed, and their crews reduced to a fine pink mist by a torrent of 20mm shells. As the last boat sank beneath the waves, Yamamoto turned his destroyer towards the Harmony, sinking her with a Mk46 torpedo and killing all 136 onboard.
Unfortunately for Yamamoto, a sailor on the bridge heard the Captain refer to the Greenpeace activists as “hippy faggots” after the sinking, and immediately reported it to the ship’s Equal Opportunity Advisor.
The report led to a full investigation by the Navy, and he was fired soon after.
*.*
A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.
The storeowner replies "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale.
The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat."
The owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.
The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."
And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer.
So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."
*.*
Cat Quotes
"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." --Dave Platt
"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." --Bruce Graham
"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." --Unknown
"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." --Anonymous
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow." --Jeff Valdez
"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." -- English proverb
"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." -- Ellen Perry Berkeley
"One cat just leads to another." --Ernest Hemmingway
"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." --Mary Bly
"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia." --Joseph Wood Krutch
"People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life." --Faith Resnick
"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." --Hippolyte Taine
"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." --Unknown
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." --Albert Schweitzer
"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." -- Ernest Menaul
"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."
"Time spent with cats is never wasted." --Colette
"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." --Missy Dizick
"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats." --Colonial American proverb
"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want." --Joseph Wood Krutch
"My husband said it was either him or the cat ... I miss him sometimes."
*.*
Living on the moon would be fun.
But it would sure suck having to walk a mile every time you missed a Frisbee.
Quote of the Times;
“I support honest citizens who protest against a governing president [who is] against his people,” said the Italian deputy prime minister.... In December, Salvini mocked the French president as a “lab mouse elected to keep the elitist political system in place.”
Link of the Times;
https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-01-05/how-china-colonized-entire-continent-without-firing-single-shot
Issue of the Times;
Disparities Galore by Walter E. Williams
Much is made about observed differences between sexes and among races. The nation's academic and legal elite try to sell us on the notion that men and women and people of all races should be proportionally represented in socio-economic characteristics. They make statements such as "Though African Americans and Hispanics make up approximately 32 percent of the US population, they (constituted) 56 percent of all incarcerated people in 2015" and "20 percent of Congress is women. Only 5 percent of CEOs are."
These differences are frequently referred to as disparities. Legal professionals, judges, politicians, academics and others often operate under the assumption that we are all equal. Therefore, inequalities and disparities are seen as probative of injustice. Thus, government must intervene, find the cause and engineer a policy or law to eliminate the injustice. Such a vision borders on lunacy. There's no evidence anywhere or at any time in human history that shows that but for some kind of social injustice, people would be proportionally represented across a range of socio-economic attributes by race and sex.
Indeed, if there is a dominant feature of mankind, it's that we differ significantly over a host of socio-economic characteristics by race, sex, ethnicity and nationality. The differences have little or nothing to do with any sort of social injustice or unfair treatment. Let's examine some racial, ethnic and sex disparities with an eye toward identifying the injustice involved. We might also ponder what kind of policy recommendation is necessary to correct the disparity.
Jews constitute no more than 3 percent of the U.S. population but are 35 percent of American Nobel Prize winners. As of 2017, Nobel Prizes had been awarded to 902 individuals worldwide. Though Jews are less than 2 percent of the world's population, 203, or 22.5 percent, of the Nobel Prizes were awarded to Jews. Proportionality would have created 18 Jewish Nobel laureates instead of an "unfair" 203. What should Congress and the United Nations do to "correct" such a disparity? Should the Nobel committees be charged with racism?
Jews are not the only people taking more than their "fair share" of things. Blacks are 13 percent of the U.S. population but, in some seasons, have been as high as 84 percent of NBA players. Compounding that "injustice," blacks are the highest-paid basketball players and win nearly all of the MVP prizes. Blacks are also guilty of taking 67 percent, an "unfair" share, of professional football jobs. Blacks are in the top salary category in every offensive and defensive position except quarterback. But let's not lull ourselves into complacency. How often do you see a black NFL kicker or punter?
Laotian, Samoan and Vietnamese women have the highest cervical cancer rates in the United States. The Pima Indians of Arizona have the highest reported prevalence of diabetes of any population in the world. Tay-Sachs disease favors Ashkenazi Jews. Cystic fibrosis haunts white people. Blacks of West African ethnic origin have the highest incidence of sickle cell anemia. The prevalence of prostate cancer is lower in men of South Asian ethnicity than in the general population. Black American men have the highest prostate cancer rates of any racial or ethnic group in the United States. Black males are also 30 percent likelier to die from heart disease than white men.
There are loads of other disparities based upon physical characteristics, but it would take a fool to believe that we are all equal and any difference between us is a result of some kind of social injustice that begs for a societal remedy. The only kind of equality consistent with liberty is equality before the law — which doesn't require that people be in fact equal.
"I'd like to talk to your mother or father," said the teacher.
"Sorry, but they ain't here," he told her.
"Jimmy!" she said, "what is it with your grammar?"
"Beats me," Jimmy replied, "but dad sure was mad that they had t'go bail her out again!"
*.*
Navy Captain Fired After Leading Unauthorized Whaling Expedition
SAN DIEGO, Calif. — The Navy announced it had relieved the captain of the USS Mustin (DDG-89) following an unauthorized whaling expedition during a training exercise off the coast of Antarctica, sources confirmed Tuesday.
Capt. Hikaru Yamamoto led his crew on a modified version of a traditional Japanese whaling expedition in celebration of Asian-American heritage, Navy Secretary Ray Mabus said.
Yamamoto, who is Japanese-American, allegedly taught his sailors to sing ancient coastal fishing songs “while directing his Fire Control Center to unleash a pair of RUM-139 VL-ASROC anti-submarine missiles into a pod of sperm whales,” a Navy investigator told Duffel Blog, speaking on condition of anonymity.
The skipper’s relief is just the latest in a string of high-profile firings of Navy officers, to include a captain and master chief being relieved after raising money from strip clubs, and a master chief and executive officer being fired after making their sailors carry around their own feces along the pier.
Navy investigators said the Mustin’s crew were encouraged to pick through the blood-red sea for the choicest bits of whale flesh, while Yamamoto used the 1MC to regale them with the story of legendary whaler Yoshi Tatsuka while brandishing a replica harpoon, identical to the type used by the Ainu people in pre-feudal Japan.
Unfortunately, during the post-hunt feast preparations, the Greenpeace anti-whaling vessel Harmony arrived on the scene. Activists began to hurl insults at the blood-soaked sailors and demand retribution for their crimes. The event quickly escalated after the Harmony began to use high-intensity focused speakers to bombard the Navy crew with Bob Marley and Beatles hits.
After four zodiac boats launched from the Harmony tried to spray the decks of the Mustin with foul-smelling debris and entangle its propeller with industrial grade netting — tactics similar to those used against modern whaling ships — Capt. Yamamoto initiated defensive procedures and ordered one of the ship’s Phalanx guns turned on the activists.
In less than seven seconds all of the smaller craft had been destroyed, and their crews reduced to a fine pink mist by a torrent of 20mm shells. As the last boat sank beneath the waves, Yamamoto turned his destroyer towards the Harmony, sinking her with a Mk46 torpedo and killing all 136 onboard.
Unfortunately for Yamamoto, a sailor on the bridge heard the Captain refer to the Greenpeace activists as “hippy faggots” after the sinking, and immediately reported it to the ship’s Equal Opportunity Advisor.
The report led to a full investigation by the Navy, and he was fired soon after.
*.*
A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.
The storeowner replies "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale.
The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat."
The owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.
The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."
And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer.
So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."
*.*
Cat Quotes
"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." --Dave Platt
"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." --Bruce Graham
"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." --Unknown
"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." --Anonymous
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow." --Jeff Valdez
"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." -- English proverb
"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." -- Ellen Perry Berkeley
"One cat just leads to another." --Ernest Hemmingway
"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." --Mary Bly
"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia." --Joseph Wood Krutch
"People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life." --Faith Resnick
"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." --Hippolyte Taine
"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." --Unknown
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." --Albert Schweitzer
"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." -- Ernest Menaul
"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."
"Time spent with cats is never wasted." --Colette
"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." --Missy Dizick
"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats." --Colonial American proverb
"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want." --Joseph Wood Krutch
"My husband said it was either him or the cat ... I miss him sometimes."
*.*
Living on the moon would be fun.
But it would sure suck having to walk a mile every time you missed a Frisbee.
Quote of the Times;
“I support honest citizens who protest against a governing president [who is] against his people,” said the Italian deputy prime minister.... In December, Salvini mocked the French president as a “lab mouse elected to keep the elitist political system in place.”
Link of the Times;
https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-01-05/how-china-colonized-entire-continent-without-firing-single-shot
Issue of the Times;
Disparities Galore by Walter E. Williams
Much is made about observed differences between sexes and among races. The nation's academic and legal elite try to sell us on the notion that men and women and people of all races should be proportionally represented in socio-economic characteristics. They make statements such as "Though African Americans and Hispanics make up approximately 32 percent of the US population, they (constituted) 56 percent of all incarcerated people in 2015" and "20 percent of Congress is women. Only 5 percent of CEOs are."
These differences are frequently referred to as disparities. Legal professionals, judges, politicians, academics and others often operate under the assumption that we are all equal. Therefore, inequalities and disparities are seen as probative of injustice. Thus, government must intervene, find the cause and engineer a policy or law to eliminate the injustice. Such a vision borders on lunacy. There's no evidence anywhere or at any time in human history that shows that but for some kind of social injustice, people would be proportionally represented across a range of socio-economic attributes by race and sex.
Indeed, if there is a dominant feature of mankind, it's that we differ significantly over a host of socio-economic characteristics by race, sex, ethnicity and nationality. The differences have little or nothing to do with any sort of social injustice or unfair treatment. Let's examine some racial, ethnic and sex disparities with an eye toward identifying the injustice involved. We might also ponder what kind of policy recommendation is necessary to correct the disparity.
Jews constitute no more than 3 percent of the U.S. population but are 35 percent of American Nobel Prize winners. As of 2017, Nobel Prizes had been awarded to 902 individuals worldwide. Though Jews are less than 2 percent of the world's population, 203, or 22.5 percent, of the Nobel Prizes were awarded to Jews. Proportionality would have created 18 Jewish Nobel laureates instead of an "unfair" 203. What should Congress and the United Nations do to "correct" such a disparity? Should the Nobel committees be charged with racism?
Jews are not the only people taking more than their "fair share" of things. Blacks are 13 percent of the U.S. population but, in some seasons, have been as high as 84 percent of NBA players. Compounding that "injustice," blacks are the highest-paid basketball players and win nearly all of the MVP prizes. Blacks are also guilty of taking 67 percent, an "unfair" share, of professional football jobs. Blacks are in the top salary category in every offensive and defensive position except quarterback. But let's not lull ourselves into complacency. How often do you see a black NFL kicker or punter?
Laotian, Samoan and Vietnamese women have the highest cervical cancer rates in the United States. The Pima Indians of Arizona have the highest reported prevalence of diabetes of any population in the world. Tay-Sachs disease favors Ashkenazi Jews. Cystic fibrosis haunts white people. Blacks of West African ethnic origin have the highest incidence of sickle cell anemia. The prevalence of prostate cancer is lower in men of South Asian ethnicity than in the general population. Black American men have the highest prostate cancer rates of any racial or ethnic group in the United States. Black males are also 30 percent likelier to die from heart disease than white men.
There are loads of other disparities based upon physical characteristics, but it would take a fool to believe that we are all equal and any difference between us is a result of some kind of social injustice that begs for a societal remedy. The only kind of equality consistent with liberty is equality before the law — which doesn't require that people be in fact equal.
Discovery?
A Texan lands in Sydney, and is picked up by a taxi. After requesting a tour of the city, he starts into a tirade about the small town airport and how in Texas they have larger runways on their ranches.
They are soon crossing the Sydney Harbor bridge, and the man is further unimpressed; "I have a duck pond bigger than that harbor, and an ornamental bridge to span it that makes this look like a toy".
The Sydney-Newcastle expressway also gets his scorn, "Is this a road, or a track?"
So when a kangaroo jumped out in front of the cab, causing the sudden and severe application of the brakes, the driver couldn't help himself; "Stupid grass hoppers!"
*.*
A young Arab boy asks his father “What is that strange hat you are wearing?”
The father said: "Why, my son, it is a 'chechia.' In the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun.”
"And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing?” asked the boy.
“Oh, my son!” exclaimed the father “It is very simple. This is a 'djbellah.' As I have told you, in the desert it
is not only very hot, but the sand is always blowing. My djbellah protects the entire body.”
The son then asked: "But Father, what about those ugly shoes you have on your feet?”
"These are 'babouches' my son,” the father replied. You must understand that although the desert sands are
very beautiful, they are also extremely hot. These babouches' keep us from burning our feet.”
"So tell me then," added the boy.
"Yes, my son…”
"Why are you living in Minnesota and still wearing all this shit?
*.*
Seattle, WA - Seattle becomes the first major U.S. city to ban plastic straws and utensils in all restaurants.
San Francisco, sensing a threat to its status as front-runner in the Progressivelympics, has responded by completely banning all food and beverages in restaurants city wide starting 2020.
*.*
In similar news…
House Democrats Draft Legislation That Would Make It A Hate Crime To Eat At Chick-Fil-A
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Under intense pressure from their left-leaning constituents to do something about the dangerous, Christian-founded restaurant chain, Democrats in the House of Representatives unveiled legislation Friday that would make it a hate crime to eat at Chick-fil-A.
The CFAHATE Act Of 2019 would make it a hate crime punishable by federal law to dine at the restaurant or use its drive-thru, with extra punishments for people who post that they’re eating at the restaurant on their social media accounts. The legislation would also impose heftier penalties for anyone who patronizes the extremist hate group’s chicken sandwich establishments during Pride Month.
“We want people making fast-food dining choices to think carefully about a restaurant’s background,” House Minority Leader and bill co-sponsor Nancy Pelosi said in a video posted to her official YouTube account. “If a restaurant’s leadership is associated with Christian values in any way, frequenting their locations amounts to literal violence against minorities, women, and the LGBTQ+ community.”
According to Pelosi, the legislation was rushed into motion after Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey posted that he was eating at Chick-fil-A on his Twitter account last weekend, and was later forced to apologize after weathering severe criticism by progressives. Federal agents found they were unable to prosecute him, since eating at a Christian-owned restaurant wasn’t “technically” defined as a hate crime under United States law.
“It’s 2019. It’s time to put intolerance behind us by making any association with Christians in the public sphere simply intolerable,” Pelosi concluded.
*.*
My upstairs neighbor called me at work today to tell me she heard several men in my place making a lot of noise and laughing loudly.
How come this stuff never happens when I'm home?
Quote of the Times;
“We’re gonna go in there and we’re gonna impeach the motherfucker.” - Representative Rashida Tlaib
Link of the Times;
https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1080510898601639936.html
Issue of the Times;
The Zeller-Nikolov climate discovery may turn the world upside down by Christopher Calder
Nature created the fundamental mathematical relationship now known as E=mc2. A mathematical finding, if proven valid, is a real phenomenon; as real as finding a diamond in a river bed. Nature creates fundamental mathematical relationships; humans only discover them.
The straightforward and crystal-clear mathematical discovery by Dr. Karl Zeller and Dr. Ned Nikolov has many enemies. If their finding is proven accurate, it could bankrupt the wind and solar industries and put heavy pressure on politicians to end biofuel mandates. It would embarrass most politicians and almost all climate scientists, even those who believe carbon dioxide has no significant effect on Earth temperatures.
The Zeller-Nikolov climate finding uses official NASA data to quantify the average temperatures of the hard-surfaced satellite bodies orbiting our Sun. The formula is not applicable to the gas planets: Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune. Zeller and Nikolov claim to be able to determine the long-term average temperature of Venus, Earth, Mars, Titan (a moon of Saturn), and Triton (a moon of Neptune) by using just two informational values: their distance from the Sun and their atmospheric pressure.
Zeller and Nikolov have found that the gaseous composition of atmospheres is immaterial to determining long-term average temperatures. For example, the atmosphere of Venus is composed of 96.5% carbon dioxide, while Earth's atmosphere contains only .04% carbon dioxide, yet those vast differences are irrelevant to the mathematical calculations required to determine average temperatures. This mathematical proof tells us that even though Venus has 2,412 times more carbon dioxide than Earth measured as a percentage of its atmosphere, that CO2 has no measurable effects on its average long-term temperature. Zeller and Nikolov claim that carbon dioxide and all the other atmospheric gases only contribute to temperature by their physical mass and resultant atmospheric pressure. They point out that their predictions for planets and moons are accurate to within one degree Celsius, a confidence-inspiring finding so precise that coincidence can reasonably be ruled out.
The Zeller-Nikolov discovery means that Earth's atmosphere keeps us warm via gas-compression heating under the weight of Earth's approximately 300-mile-thick atmosphere, not by the greenhouse effect. An actual greenhouse has a glass wall enclosing it. Earth has no enclosure and is open to space, so the two scientists suggest that the term "greenhouse effect" be replaced by "atmospheric thermal enhancement." Heat is created by compressing atmospheric gases through the pull of gravity. Similarly, in a diesel engine a piston is used to compress gases to generate enough heat to eliminate the need for a spark plug. The tremendous gravitational pull on the enormous mass of Earth's atmosphere combined with solar radiation warms our planet just enough to allow carbon-based life forms to flourish.
If carbon dioxide was the powerful greenhouse gas alarmists claim it to be, the calculations for Venus would have to be dramatically different than the calculations for Earth, but they are the same. This tells us that CO2 has no measurable direct effect on planetary temperature, which makes perfect sense as the Earth has experienced severe ice ages when atmospheric CO2 levels were many times higher than they are today.
The carbon dioxide-driven greenhouse gas theory Swedish scientist Svante Arrhenius first proposed in 1896 has never been proven valid by empirical testing. Svante's ideas sounded plausible, so people accepted them without proof. More recently, American politicians literally ordered the IPCC to burn through enormous amounts of taxpayer dollars concocting wild and fanciful computer-model projections based on Svante's assumptions. As the old computer-programming saying goes, "garbage in, garbage out" (GIGO).
All of the IPCC's doomsday climate predictions have failed to materialize despite our heavily biased media's best efforts to distort and exaggerate. Ordinary summer heat waves and winter storm activity has been falsely portrayed as precursors to the end of the world, which will certainly come unless we elect more Democrats. Climate gurus keep pushing the date of catastrophe into the future because the global doom they keep predicting never arrives. What has arrived are ordinary and expected minor fluctuations in Earth's climate that have been going on since Earth was formed. Ask yourself, when did the Earth have a climate that was more pleasant and beneficial to mankind than the climate we have today? The honest answer is simply never.
Despite multiple technical reviews by scientists around the world, no one has found error in Zeller and Nikolov's mathematical formulas and specific computations. Objections raised against their discovery are largely that it does not fit accepted climate theories that are professionally and politically popular. Climate science has become an Orwellian tool of political power and an enormous money-making profession for scientists, professors, universities, state and federal government employees, and a thousand and one green-scam businesses. Just think of all the billions of dollars being spent on "global warming" and the mandated false remedies. No doom equals no costly remedies and no profits for those selling fear.
Real scientists know that you cannot control the weather with windmills and solar panels any more than you can control the weather with bowling balls and statues of dead politicians, yet the costly and impractical renewable-energy fad continues. Crony capitalists and ambitious but scientifically naive politicians from Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, to Beto O'Rourke, to billionaire Michael Bloomberg want taxpayers to spend trillions of dollars on energy schemes that have already raised the cost of food and energy all over the world. This has harmed the world's poor far more than the wealthy, the very opposite of what liberals are supposed to stand for. Now they want us to dramatically escalate our war against the carbon atom, the very element all our food and our own bodies are made of. Carbon creatures fighting carbon; human events rarely get more twisted and surreal than this.
They are soon crossing the Sydney Harbor bridge, and the man is further unimpressed; "I have a duck pond bigger than that harbor, and an ornamental bridge to span it that makes this look like a toy".
The Sydney-Newcastle expressway also gets his scorn, "Is this a road, or a track?"
So when a kangaroo jumped out in front of the cab, causing the sudden and severe application of the brakes, the driver couldn't help himself; "Stupid grass hoppers!"
*.*
A young Arab boy asks his father “What is that strange hat you are wearing?”
The father said: "Why, my son, it is a 'chechia.' In the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun.”
"And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing?” asked the boy.
“Oh, my son!” exclaimed the father “It is very simple. This is a 'djbellah.' As I have told you, in the desert it
is not only very hot, but the sand is always blowing. My djbellah protects the entire body.”
The son then asked: "But Father, what about those ugly shoes you have on your feet?”
"These are 'babouches' my son,” the father replied. You must understand that although the desert sands are
very beautiful, they are also extremely hot. These babouches' keep us from burning our feet.”
"So tell me then," added the boy.
"Yes, my son…”
"Why are you living in Minnesota and still wearing all this shit?
*.*
Seattle, WA - Seattle becomes the first major U.S. city to ban plastic straws and utensils in all restaurants.
San Francisco, sensing a threat to its status as front-runner in the Progressivelympics, has responded by completely banning all food and beverages in restaurants city wide starting 2020.
*.*
In similar news…
House Democrats Draft Legislation That Would Make It A Hate Crime To Eat At Chick-Fil-A
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Under intense pressure from their left-leaning constituents to do something about the dangerous, Christian-founded restaurant chain, Democrats in the House of Representatives unveiled legislation Friday that would make it a hate crime to eat at Chick-fil-A.
The CFAHATE Act Of 2019 would make it a hate crime punishable by federal law to dine at the restaurant or use its drive-thru, with extra punishments for people who post that they’re eating at the restaurant on their social media accounts. The legislation would also impose heftier penalties for anyone who patronizes the extremist hate group’s chicken sandwich establishments during Pride Month.
“We want people making fast-food dining choices to think carefully about a restaurant’s background,” House Minority Leader and bill co-sponsor Nancy Pelosi said in a video posted to her official YouTube account. “If a restaurant’s leadership is associated with Christian values in any way, frequenting their locations amounts to literal violence against minorities, women, and the LGBTQ+ community.”
According to Pelosi, the legislation was rushed into motion after Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey posted that he was eating at Chick-fil-A on his Twitter account last weekend, and was later forced to apologize after weathering severe criticism by progressives. Federal agents found they were unable to prosecute him, since eating at a Christian-owned restaurant wasn’t “technically” defined as a hate crime under United States law.
“It’s 2019. It’s time to put intolerance behind us by making any association with Christians in the public sphere simply intolerable,” Pelosi concluded.
*.*
My upstairs neighbor called me at work today to tell me she heard several men in my place making a lot of noise and laughing loudly.
How come this stuff never happens when I'm home?
Quote of the Times;
“We’re gonna go in there and we’re gonna impeach the motherfucker.” - Representative Rashida Tlaib
Link of the Times;
https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1080510898601639936.html
Issue of the Times;
The Zeller-Nikolov climate discovery may turn the world upside down by Christopher Calder
Nature created the fundamental mathematical relationship now known as E=mc2. A mathematical finding, if proven valid, is a real phenomenon; as real as finding a diamond in a river bed. Nature creates fundamental mathematical relationships; humans only discover them.
The straightforward and crystal-clear mathematical discovery by Dr. Karl Zeller and Dr. Ned Nikolov has many enemies. If their finding is proven accurate, it could bankrupt the wind and solar industries and put heavy pressure on politicians to end biofuel mandates. It would embarrass most politicians and almost all climate scientists, even those who believe carbon dioxide has no significant effect on Earth temperatures.
The Zeller-Nikolov climate finding uses official NASA data to quantify the average temperatures of the hard-surfaced satellite bodies orbiting our Sun. The formula is not applicable to the gas planets: Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune. Zeller and Nikolov claim to be able to determine the long-term average temperature of Venus, Earth, Mars, Titan (a moon of Saturn), and Triton (a moon of Neptune) by using just two informational values: their distance from the Sun and their atmospheric pressure.
Zeller and Nikolov have found that the gaseous composition of atmospheres is immaterial to determining long-term average temperatures. For example, the atmosphere of Venus is composed of 96.5% carbon dioxide, while Earth's atmosphere contains only .04% carbon dioxide, yet those vast differences are irrelevant to the mathematical calculations required to determine average temperatures. This mathematical proof tells us that even though Venus has 2,412 times more carbon dioxide than Earth measured as a percentage of its atmosphere, that CO2 has no measurable effects on its average long-term temperature. Zeller and Nikolov claim that carbon dioxide and all the other atmospheric gases only contribute to temperature by their physical mass and resultant atmospheric pressure. They point out that their predictions for planets and moons are accurate to within one degree Celsius, a confidence-inspiring finding so precise that coincidence can reasonably be ruled out.
The Zeller-Nikolov discovery means that Earth's atmosphere keeps us warm via gas-compression heating under the weight of Earth's approximately 300-mile-thick atmosphere, not by the greenhouse effect. An actual greenhouse has a glass wall enclosing it. Earth has no enclosure and is open to space, so the two scientists suggest that the term "greenhouse effect" be replaced by "atmospheric thermal enhancement." Heat is created by compressing atmospheric gases through the pull of gravity. Similarly, in a diesel engine a piston is used to compress gases to generate enough heat to eliminate the need for a spark plug. The tremendous gravitational pull on the enormous mass of Earth's atmosphere combined with solar radiation warms our planet just enough to allow carbon-based life forms to flourish.
If carbon dioxide was the powerful greenhouse gas alarmists claim it to be, the calculations for Venus would have to be dramatically different than the calculations for Earth, but they are the same. This tells us that CO2 has no measurable direct effect on planetary temperature, which makes perfect sense as the Earth has experienced severe ice ages when atmospheric CO2 levels were many times higher than they are today.
The carbon dioxide-driven greenhouse gas theory Swedish scientist Svante Arrhenius first proposed in 1896 has never been proven valid by empirical testing. Svante's ideas sounded plausible, so people accepted them without proof. More recently, American politicians literally ordered the IPCC to burn through enormous amounts of taxpayer dollars concocting wild and fanciful computer-model projections based on Svante's assumptions. As the old computer-programming saying goes, "garbage in, garbage out" (GIGO).
All of the IPCC's doomsday climate predictions have failed to materialize despite our heavily biased media's best efforts to distort and exaggerate. Ordinary summer heat waves and winter storm activity has been falsely portrayed as precursors to the end of the world, which will certainly come unless we elect more Democrats. Climate gurus keep pushing the date of catastrophe into the future because the global doom they keep predicting never arrives. What has arrived are ordinary and expected minor fluctuations in Earth's climate that have been going on since Earth was formed. Ask yourself, when did the Earth have a climate that was more pleasant and beneficial to mankind than the climate we have today? The honest answer is simply never.
Despite multiple technical reviews by scientists around the world, no one has found error in Zeller and Nikolov's mathematical formulas and specific computations. Objections raised against their discovery are largely that it does not fit accepted climate theories that are professionally and politically popular. Climate science has become an Orwellian tool of political power and an enormous money-making profession for scientists, professors, universities, state and federal government employees, and a thousand and one green-scam businesses. Just think of all the billions of dollars being spent on "global warming" and the mandated false remedies. No doom equals no costly remedies and no profits for those selling fear.
Real scientists know that you cannot control the weather with windmills and solar panels any more than you can control the weather with bowling balls and statues of dead politicians, yet the costly and impractical renewable-energy fad continues. Crony capitalists and ambitious but scientifically naive politicians from Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, to Beto O'Rourke, to billionaire Michael Bloomberg want taxpayers to spend trillions of dollars on energy schemes that have already raised the cost of food and energy all over the world. This has harmed the world's poor far more than the wealthy, the very opposite of what liberals are supposed to stand for. Now they want us to dramatically escalate our war against the carbon atom, the very element all our food and our own bodies are made of. Carbon creatures fighting carbon; human events rarely get more twisted and surreal than this.
Several animals were savagely beaten in the making of this page, including but not limited to; kittens, rabbits, zebu, skunks, puppies, and platypus. Also several monkeys where force fed crack to improve their typing skills.
And someone shot a duck.
An Images & Ideas, Inc. Service.
No Vegans were harmed in the making of this site. We're looking for a new provider.
And someone shot a duck.
An Images & Ideas, Inc. Service.
No Vegans were harmed in the making of this site. We're looking for a new provider.